Gratefulness? Why is it so important?

Hi guys,

Today I’m going to talk about gratefulness again (I think, I’ve mentioned about it before). But this post will try to explain you in details, why is it so important to be gratefull.

I am meeting a lot of different people; some of them are coming from so called higher class, other seem not too have a lot. What is quite shocking, many of those people, who seem to have everything, are not happy at all. They can afford so much, but at the same time it is still not enough for them. All the time they are running after something. Sometimes I have a feeling that even they have no idea what it is.

On the other hand, people who needs to struggle a bit (or sometimes a lot), they can be happy about whatever they have. Even if it’s only roof over their heads and some food on the plate. When my computer has been stolen (it was very old computer, I wanted to change it any way before my next academic year starts), I have been put in neccessity of buying new one asap. Mostly because of dead-lines in my university.

I have asked for advise two of my friends. Both of them are into technology so I thought they will be able to advise me, what computer would be the best for me performance wise, but not exceeding budget I have. I knew what I need, however I had no idea which of them I can afford for. Researching would take me a lot of time, so asking for help was the best choice.

One of my friends found computers costing double and tripple of what I could spend for it. I’ve told him that and as an answer I’ve got, that I should invest. I am going to use it for at least two years. It did not matter for him that I am not going to use even half of ability this computer would offer. By the way, I hope to use my current computer for at least five years…

Second of them found huge range of potential laptops for me. Some of them were a bit weaker than I needed, other a bit better. But what the most important: the most expensive of them exceeded my budget only for £20. It was on offer in one of the shops, but higher performance would allow me to use it for longer.

After my deal was done I’ve thanked to both of them. And first of my friends said, that I could easily borrow some money and my computer would be much, much better. In short, I’ve been so stupid to buy so cheap one.

At the same time, I am happy like a child who just got some candy. Computer is working perfectly fine and I haven’t needed to fall into debts. I am so grateful. But at the same time a bit sad for my friend too, who complains almost all the time. That his computer, which could be easily used to perform very demanding tasks is not good enough, his home is too small and so on.

This is very sad that there are so many people out there, for who the most important thing is to have everything the best, the most expensive… and still complaining. People, who build their relashionships, based on what they have, instead of who they are. And unfortunatelly ending up with no one around them (let’s be honest, listening to someone who is complaining constantly, is not what people want to do).

So my advice today, is to buy whatever you can afford (even if it will be personal jet, you will never use, if you wish), but be gratefull for it. Try to not be the one, who never hasn’t got enough. Just start seeing another aspects of life, not only material goods. And you can believe me or not, bit you will be much happier than you were before.

What is also important, at least in my opinion, is to remember, that bad things (good, too) happen in our life for some reason. If we will learn how to deal with them, we will be much stronger (I thing, there is a saying, in English too, saying: Whatever will not kill you, it will make you stronger).

That’s why it is important, to be gratefull for bad things as well. And remember, even if you are going through very bad time, there is always someone, who is in worst situation. And propably he or she is facing those problems, instead of complaining.

And with this thought I am leaving you today. I wish you a very productive day and I’ll see you in my next post.

Daria

Treasure at the bottom of the sea…

Hi guys,

Today, I would like to talk about some special people around us. Sometimes, we might not recognize them at first. They are just there and do great things. Who are these people?

Imagine the day, when everything seems to go wrong. No matter how much you try, there is just fail after fail. And you just walk with your eyes focused in one point in front of you, but you can’t see anything. And out of a sudden you notice a big smile from a stranger. Or someone is saying: “Smile” or “Why so serious? Smile!”.

It isn’t a big deal, is it? And I think I might have spoken about this before. But now, when I am feeling very low and my face must look like I just found out that I am dieing, it means so much for me. Of course, nothing change because of someone’s random smile, but I just can’t not to smile myself when someone like this stand on my way. It’s just something, that is becoming a light in a tunnel. And no matter how far this light is, if you can see it at least, everything seems easier.

This is amazing feature in my opinion. Just one simple smile can change someone’s day. And it really cost us literally nothing. Smiling is a weapon on it’s own. Even if you feel that your life doesn’t make sense and whatever you’ll do will become fail, just faking smile can make you feel a bit better (I’ve red it somewhere long time ago and tested myself). It will not sort your problems, but it can give you a little energy to try and sort your problems out.

That’s why I think about these people as a treasure at the bottom of the sea. They might be not noticed among so many things laying down on the bottom, but when you will find it, it will make your day.

This is the reason, why I highly advise you to become such treasure at the bottom at the sea for someone who you don’t know. And belive me, smile from someone who struggles will make your day too.

I am leaving you with this thought for now. I wish you very productive day and I’ll see you in my next post.

Daria

P. S. I’ve started writting this post the day before, but I have fallen asleep, while doing it. So here it is, next day in the morning.

And my today’s cover photo has been taken on the way to my job. It looks like spring is finally here 🙂

Knowledge comes with experience

Hi guys,

Today is the first day when I managed to get my computer back. I mean, not necessary back, as I had to buy new one. Just right before Easter someone (who apparently has key to my room) have stolen it. Just went inside, took my university bag containing all my notes for assignments, computer, some cash and my hospital papers.

As you might know I was already struggling a bit with money and I was planning to work as much as I can. Well, now it looks that it will take longer than I thought. I need to pay my computer back and all other stuff. Mean time I have two weeks to make up all work on two quite big projects for my uni, I’ve been working for last few months. Well…

Any way, I complained a bit (a lot of people is saying that complaining is a national characteristic of polish people 😉 ), but during this week, being cut down from an internet I have realised something.

As I am working on my own projects, including books review website and something connected to programming, I will propably keep this blog as a place, where I can just throw my thoughts out of my head. And when my projects will come to life, I will update you here and attach links to get there. That means, there will not be any programing posts here or any book’s reviews.

Why so? I have realised that I was trying to make this blog too packed. Everything in one place. And I’ve made my mind that it is not such good idea as I thought at the begining. First reason is that most of the people (including me) comes to particular website or blog for some reason. Including a lot of topics in one blog will make it quite messy. Light posts mixed up with programming lessons? You can judge yourself… Very poor idea…

And second reason is more personal. I have realised, that this became too overwhelming for me. Preparing programming posts (I have 2 ready so far) have been taking a great amount of my time and made me learn less effectively, as I was focusing on how to make it suitable for my post instead of on how it really works. I hope it does make sense 😉 Well, this short (or rather long) time of experience did teach me a lesson 😉 And I think, this is how it should be. I wanted to have my blog for a long time, but my excuse was that I don’t know why. Now I am actualy learning on my own mistakes.

But coming back to topic, programming lessons will appear too, just in a bit easier form and in different place. And of course I let you know about it soon 😉 about my work on my website with book’s reviews you might already know from my previous posts.

I hope you will like new changes and I hope I have finally found my way. However, if you have some ideas, advices or just opinion, feel free to tell me about in comment section bellow.

I am going to finish this post here. I wish you very productive day and I’ll see you in tomorrow’s post (hopefully no more bad luck any more)

Daria

Why in hurry?

Hi guys,

I have realised lately that life of many people (including me) became a kind of race. A lot of us has some goals and try to achieve them ASAP. I would like to start my website, launch an app and many, many more. And that’s great (I think). I’ve realised, that I love programing and I hope I will be able to do this professionaly one day. The only problem is, that I am having those days, when I am not able to enjoy it. I just can’t.

These days make me feel, like every attempt I am taking to write some lines of code are pointless. Especially when I meet any problem requiring more time to solve. It makes me disappointed, when sometimes it takes me day or two to add one function. And at the end it turns out, that it was extremely easy to write. And even if I love researching for solutions, it makes me almost give up.

I was looking for reasons for these feelings and I found out many of them. But the most obvious is that setting goals has turn out to be an bitter enemy of mine. Let me explain why.

First of all, having goals set makes you focus on how your life will change, when you’ll achieve them. At least this is happening to me. At the begining I thought about it as some kind of motivation itself. I haven’t even suspect that starting work on something will become so difficult. Especially, if working itself is just fun for me. The reason for that (in my case, at least) was that focusing on my goals kept reminding me how much left to be done before I’ll get there. This made me some kind of disappointed. And like a child going for holiday with parents is so concerned when they will arrive to their destination and because of that is not paying attention to how beautiful views are around, I was so focused on my goal that not time for enjoying my journey left.

Luckily, I found solutions for this. One is to be aware of reasons, why I picked those particular goals (I have written them in my journal page and read them every day); another think is to forget about goal itself.

Another reason why I coudn’t set to work, was the weight of comitment. Very often when we have to do something, we just don’t feel like. Partially, because of this overwhelming feeling, that no matter what will happen, we have to get certain tasks ticked before the deadline makes us stressed. Goals on the other hand are very special comitments, as we agree with ourselves to do certain things. We have no deadlines, so we are able to keep pushing actual work away. Even if we have deadlines set, who is going to make sure that we have actually kept them? And this problem I have sorted similar way as first one. I’ve stopped thinking about how much needs to be done and when I want to have it done, but focused on my journey instead. No matter how long it might take and whether I am going to arrive anywhere. Just act of doing what I love and learning more and more new thing about it every day, is worth the effort being put into it.

Those reasons of putting work away (even if they seem not important at first) are actually quite dangerous, as we don’t really know about them, as it doesn’t come to our mind to find them. So how can we eliminate them from our life? It is quite hard task, isn’t it?

This made me make one extra plan. If something doesn’t work as it should, I will be just stopping for a while to find the reason for that. It seems very easy, however it requires me to look deeply inside my thoughts, as some of them don’t seem so obvious. They are actually masters in being undiscovered. They only thing being able to make them visible is being extremely honest with yourself.

And with this advice (if I can call it an advice) I am going to finish today’s post. I wish you very productive day and I’ll see you in tomorrow’s post.

Daria

PS. Today, there is no cover picture. I haven’t got a chance to take any good one today…

Break? Well.. I needed it…

Hi guys,

I haven’t been here for a long, long time. Well, this time I needed break. Just to rest and get my life together after what have happened. But now I am back. With new posts, new ideas and new motivation. So since Wednesday, I am going to come back to my post schedule. As Monday and Tuesday are my days off from posting any way, I will take advantage of them, a bit more 😉

I hope you’ve stayed motivated for all this day and I wish you great and productive day.

Daria

PS. Here is one more picture of winter in London. It is gone already, but I like this picture.

Not always everything goes well

Hi guys,

I haven’t posted anything for a long time. Unfortuately, I’ve lost my pregnancy. Altough doctors were doing all their best, to prevent it.

Today, I’ve came just to inform you, that I need some time for myself, to keep my thoughts together and go over it just a bit.

I will try to come back as soon as posible, hopefuly since next week, but can’t promise.

Have a very productive day, and I’ll see you in my next post.

Daria

Curtain’s secret

Hi guys,

My last few days were quite hard. Pregnancy (which I am extremely happy about, but even more than that – scared), many days in hospital (just to make sure everything is alright)… I was hoping to get home on Friday, but instead I went yesterday. It was not that nice: I hate hospitals in general, as you know, you are not landing there if you are fine. I remember from my childhood visiting my grandmother, she used to be connected to strange machines. She used to spend most of her days in various hospitals. At least at some point of her life. I loved to visit her, we were very close to each other.

However, each of those visits used to be connected with some sort of pain. In hospital’s beds people seem to be much smaller than they really are, at least for me. They are pale as well (maybe because of illnesses causing them to be there). And what I would like to say, might seem scaring, but I can feel death there.

As a child I spent my first years of my life in hospital as well. I don’t remember too much from that time. Only thing, what I remember, were curtains over some beds (I was in one room with many other children).

Those curtains were scary. They were there and I could hear crying from behind them, a lot of people. One day, I’ve asked a nurse, what those curtains are and why so many people are crying there (usually only one child was taking a bed). She told me, that parents are coming to take their children home, as they feel better now. I was very happy for them. I was dreaming about my own curtain, where my parents will come not only to visit me, but to take me home.

Everything changed around one week before I’ve left. I had my final tests, just to make sure I am ok. I was getting ready, my parents was with me, but there wasn’t any curtain. I explained to my dad my worries, that I don’t think they are going to let me go home. They always give you a curtain in this situation.

And this was the day, I’ve realised, that people behind the curtain were dieing, instead of going home. I had in my head faces of so many friends of mine, who left this world this way. And it started to make sense to me, why people were crying. Obviously, there were no joy tears, as I used to believe.

I remember especially one girl. I don’t know her age, but older than me (at that time she used to carry me). I remember one time, when only we two were in our room, and she asked one question: “Daria, I am not going to have any children, so would you like to be my daughter?”. The only think I understood, was that we are going to play family and I was glad, that I am going to play with someone, who seemed adult for me (eventhough she couldn’t be older than 15, otherwise she wouldn’t be in same ward as me).

She suffered from cancer. My disease was much less damaging and dangerous. For next few days, we were going everywhere together. She used to look after me, put me into sleep, help me change…

Both of us were of these unlucky one, who’s parents lived quite far from the hospital and could visit us only once or twice a week.

After sometime, I saw curtain around her bed as well. I couldn’t sleep that night. In the morning I saw people leaving her bed. All of them crying. I asked them, where is she and got an answer, that she was in the better place.

I was disappointed. First of all, she hasn’t say goodbye to me. Second of all, she hasn’t take me with her. After all I was her daughter, wasn’t I?

I used to cry like mad. For many days, finally, same women who said to me that my friend is in a better place, brought me a letter. I don’t remember actualy, as it was long, long time ago. But it was from my friend, they found it in her stuff. She wrote, that she is going to wait for me and when time will come, she will meet me where she is now.

I still felt sad, but much better. At least I knew now, that I am going to meet her at some point. Well, I haven’t.

I don’t know why, but since that time hospitals bring this feeling to me. Like you can smell death there (as a child I didn’t know what this smell is, but now I understand). And I still can feel it. Every hospital make me wondering, how many people died here, maybe on the same bed I am at the moment.

This post is a bit more sad, than motivating. But to make it feel better, I would like to tell you one lesson, I”ve learnt by these experiences: you never know, how much time left for you, so make sure you’ll make great use of it. Take advantage of every moment you have, so in case if something happen, you’ll have great memories instead of regrets. Is it going to help? I don’t know. But at least good memories are better than regrets.

So with this less positive post I am leaving you today. And I wish you all a very productive day. And I’ll see you tomorrow in my programming’s post.

Daria

I used to say about changes? So find out this (quick note)

Hi guys,

I am writting this post from hospital. I have been feeling horrible last week and I ended up here. I was really scared: no energy, nausea. I couldn’t really get up out of bed, as I was falling down (literally).

After several tests they found out, I am dehydrated (guess what: coffee is not the best way to help you hydrate your body 😉 ) and another thing – I am pregnant!

Because of this, I am sorry for breaking my schedule again, but I wasn’t able to bring my computer with me. Any way, I wasn’t really able to focus on my blog (it was great shock for me).

Any way, I’ll see you in the evening in my programming post.

Daria

Compare or not to compare?

Hi guys,

Today I am starting writting this post from my break at work. It is last busy week in our company (and I am very happy about this so much).

Yesterday one more person followed my blog and I’ve realised there is already over 30. I don’t know how to thank you. I know it isn’t huge amount, but for me it is a lot. When I first started, I thought, that 10 it will be maximum during my blog’s existence and it is already tripled!

When I’ve told about this to my friends (any of them knows how to find my website yet), they’ve said that this is not so great achievement. A lot of bloggers have thousands or even milions of followers. And of course this is true (propably many of you thought the same), but for me this is not any kind of race. For me this 30 followers means like billions would for someone else. I am so happy!

And all this brought me to todays subject. Shall we compare ourself to anyone? Do we need to be better from anyone?

Those are quite important questions. Let’s say, we are going to try to be better than one particular person. We are working realy hard to achieve our goal and finally we can manage to do this. We are the better one of two. But to be honest, what has had changed because of this? Actually nothing. We can say: “I am the better one”. And that’s it.

My goal is slightly different. I want to be better each day. This is the only thing pushing me further. But each day, I want to be better than I was the day before, not anyone else. I don’t think, there is anyone perfect at every inch. We all have some bad habits, all of us is making mistakes on daily basis (well, if you don’t do anything, you might not, but I would consider doing nothing as a mistake 😉 ).

For me success of other people is very motivating. And at the same time, it doesn’t mean, that I need to fail, because of this. I know, that they must have worked very hard for this and I am really glad, that they succeeded.

Unfortunately, there is a lot of people (for example in my work), who would put all their effort to show how perfect they are. I wouldn’t mind it, as any way I don’t need to talk to them that much. The only problem is, that being perfect in their mind means, that every time they make mistake, they need to find someone who is guilty (of course they aren’t, even if there is milion withnesses).

Personaly, I hate people who pull someone’s legs with no reason (and I don’t know any valid reason for doing so). I don’t understand, why being the best is so important for some people?

I slipped out of topic a bit. Coming back to the point: I think, that trying to compare yourself to others makes you such kind of person, I’ve just wrote about.

I believe, that whatever you do, you should work WITH people, NEVER AGAINST them. And this is my conclusion for today.

I wish you very productive day and I’ll see you tomorrow in my very first programming post.

Daria

P.S. Cover photo has been taken today. I can’t explain it, but I found it quite magical. I hope you enjoy.

What does New Year mean to me?

Hi guys,

Today is a very first post in New Year. Some days off passed by so quickly. 2017 is alive only in our memories. It seems like everything is like it always was. There is only one but. Now everything is different…

Even if between 2017 and 2018 (actually between each pair of years since I remember) there is no break, it seems like everything has changed. Counting down brings some excitement into our lives, but what does actualy change?

My birthday is in January. So not that long after new year. For me every new year remind me, that I am getting older. I now, that time, when I can say: “I am 26” is almost gone. Yes, I am this girl, who till the birthday (exact hour, when I was born) say lowest age, if asked 😉

But don’t get me wrong. I am not sad or ashamed because of getting older. In my head, experience and age are actualy same. Each and every year I feel like I am starting something new. I’m getting some empty space to write in (I wrote about this in my last post). But this time I am more clever than I was last year. I’ve made so many mistakes and I’ve learnt my lessons.

Another change (at least for me) is a kick of motivation. On the beginning of the year, I feel like I can do everything. In some way, it is the easiest time for me, to start working on my habits. Chances, that I will not give up after one week are unbelievably increasing.

Another, I think the most obvious change is a fact, that now, instead of 2017 we will write 2018 every time we need to write date 😀

But for me, New Year means something more. It is always year of something. 2017 was a year of creativity. And it really was. I’ve wrote a few stories (I still keep them in my drawer); I’ve started my bullet journal, where I can let my imagination be free; I’ve started my blog, where I can write about everything. Most of gifts I gave to people were hand made. This really was my creative year.

On the other hand, 2018 is going to be a year of patience. First of all everyday’s patience. I want to be more understanding, if people around me are getting something slow (or can’t get something at all); but also, more patient with myself. You can’t even imagine, how many times in the past year I felt like everything what I am doing does not make sense, just because I don’t see the results. I want to change this year (you might not know, but all things from previous years are carried on into next one). And finally patient with myself as a person. I want to learn, how to understand myself, in the meaning that, let’s be honest, not every day of our life is one of the best days. A lot of them are just horrible. And I want to teach myself, that this is fine. That not every day will be like I wish it to be.

This is going to be quite big challenge for me. I think, that generally when we want to work on our personality, we need to prepare for hard time. But results are worthed trying.

I am going to leave you with this thought at the moment. I wish you a very productive day and I’ll see you in tomorrow’s post.

Daria

P. S. My today’s featured picture is London seen at night from Alexandra Palace. This picture doesn’t show it well, but believe me – it’s beautiful!