15th day: voices in my head…

Hi guys,

Next day is almost finished (actually is already finished, as my clock is showing 3 am, when I am starting this post) and so many things – mostly good – happen. I was thinking to share them with you, but after I’ve decided, that this post would be too long and well… just useless for you (what kind of value it will bring to your life, if you know what I have been doing all day?). Instead, I am going to talk about something, what can happen to every one (and propably to many of you actually does).

What I am going to talk about, are voices in my head. Well, it sounds weird and some of you (if not all) might think, that I am simply mad. But I don’t mean those kind of voices 😉

Let me try to explain: imagine, you have some idea in your head. You mind was just empty and out of a sudden it was there. You are thinking it through and as more you are thinking, you are geting more and more sure, that this is brilliant idea!

Straight away you sit to make a plan, write everything what needs to be done, you are just ready to start. Feeling, that you were born to do this becomes your company. Huge, huge motivation to do some action stay shoulder by shoulder with you. First steps are done. And… here they are. Voices in your head saying: “man, what are you doing? You are going to fail, any way. Don’t waste your time!”.

Ok, you are just trying to ignore it. But no: “Do you know, how people will react? They will laugh. And not only that, they will look at you like they look at losers. Do you want that?”.

And you motivation disappears. You are starting to work less and less. Finally you give up completely. You brilliant idea seems not to be so brilliant any more.

Where are those voices coming from? Who put them there? Answer is very simple: you. You are the one, who is feeding them, who let them be more powerfull, than they actually are. But what is the worse? You are the one, who let them win. Over and over again.

So let’s look at our voices a bit closer. What they are?

Long time ago, I’ve red that everyone have his/her comfort zone (I don’t remember where I’ve red, but definetely it was in one of the books). Some environment, routine… Something what is with us every day. We can repeat it with closed eyes. And any try to move outside our comfort zone is making us feel fearfull (outside something new and unknown is waiting for us… who knows, maybe monster? 😉 ).

But on the other hand, if we’ll not leave our confort zone, we are not going to get anywhere further. Our life will never change.

So how can we fight with voices in our head? Here are some of my suggestion.

The worst thing, which can happen

This is what I am doing every time. I am making list of consequences in case of failure. And guess what? I’ve never had any monster on my list 😉

Actually when we write them, we can see, they are not so scaring like they seem to. We can just realise, that well.. nothing wrong can happen, everyone is going to stay alive 😉

And what is the other advantage of this list? Something what is completely unknown for us, is becoming something more transparent. We just feel more comfortable with it.

Make list of good things

Well, if we connect this method with previous one, we are getting clear picture of what might happen if we carry on with our activities. We can actually compare, the worst and the best scenarios. And believe me, mostly we have more to win, than to lose 😉

Is it a real problem?

If those two methods haven’t work, come back to your the worst scenario list and check every position again. And decide, whether this is real or imagined problem. For example, let’s say, you had written: “People are going to think, that I am a loser”. So thing, who are you going to do it for? For people? Does it really matter to you, what others think? And finally: is it going to harm you? Well, not really…

In my case, most of my problems are just imagined. They just don’t matter. And when I realise that, my voices are leaving me alone, my motivation is coming back again.

Sometimes, they are trying to come back. To sneak into my head, like I’ve never threw them out before. Sometimes, they even try to pretend, that they are saying what I really thing. They are coming, when my work doesn’t bring results I wish it would. But that time I am just thinking, that I can cope with them. I won before, why not again? And it’s became even easier since I’ve learnt how to work for myself. Not for any one else. Not for financial benefits. Just for the time spent on doing stuff I love. And do you know what? Now my voices became shy. Maybe they know, that for everything they’ll say, I am going to answer: “So what? I am having fun now, without you. Just go away!”. I’m not sure, but it really works 😉
I hope it will be helpfull for at least some of you. It’s nothing complicated and if you think deeper about it, you already knew it before. You just needed someone from outside your head, to say it loud 😉

Any way, let’s move to today’s summary:

Chapter of book – checked 😉

CSS lesson – checked 🙂

Being active – checked 🙂

Arabic homework – checked 🙂

Today’s post – checked 🙂

Plan for tomorrow – checked 🙂

And for now I am going to bed, as it’s already 4:20 am in London. I wish you very productive day and only won battles in this hard war with your own voices 😉 and if you have any other ways to fight with them, you are very welcome to share it in the comment section.

Mean time I see you in tomorrow’s post.

Daria

14th: are adults able to see the world the way children do?

Hi guys,

Here we are. 14th day, exactly two weeks. Unbelievable! It went so fast and I feel like I’ve done more during this time, than I have done any time before. How one simple thing, like setting up blog, can change the entire way of seeing work. Like magic, it has transfered my stuff to do into fun. I don’t even try to look for excuses any more (ok, except yesterday, but yesterday I’ve deserved some break, haven’t I?).

Any way, today I went to do some grocery shopping and I was just walking along the aisles without any deeper thoughts, when I saw (or heard, to be precized) around four-years-old boy shouting to his mum. He wants cookies. And his mum trying to explain him, that they can’t afford for it now, as she doesn’t have enough money with her. “Use your card!” he came with an idea almost straight away. Mom haven’t say anything else. Maybe she didn’t want to have show in supermarket with her son as a star, or maybe his explanation worked. Any way she just took cookies for him.

Why I am talking about this? This situation made my brain start working. My memories came to me. I don’t have my own children yet, but a lot of my cousins have and when I was living in Poland, very often they were asking me to look after their little ones. And I loved it! Not because I had an excuse to go to playground and play, without people looking at me like I’ve gotten mad (of course I’ve been doing it as well 😉 ), but because of deep conversation I used to have with my nephews and nieces. They blew my mind!

I remember one day, when we came back from walk with my five-years-old (that time) nephew. My cousin left him to me and his clothes were all in mud (he had great idea to roll down from hill. It was after rain). I said to him: “When your mum will see you, she’ll be very upset”. His answer was: “Don’t worry, Daria. You can wash them, just ask her to bring other clothes for me, so those will be for next time, when I’ll come. I am child, so I can get dirty even when I am eating. She should have known this by now.” Simple like that.

Why this blew my mind? Because children don’t care for not important things (of course they have their small problems, like someone forcing them to eat vegetables and small dilemmas like which toy to play now). They are just enjoying every moment. While adults are wondering, what people are going to say, children are thinking: “How much fun I am going to have, if I’ll do this or that?”. Isn’t it amazing?

And what ability children have, but a lot of adults is missing? They have imagination. And they don’t have anything in their mind, what would stop them to meke use of it.

I remember when I was drawing with one of my nieces. She drew red grass. I said (of course politely) that I think grass is green. She said, that in her picture is red, because tree is going to be green, so it would be too much green colour on her picture.

No matter how you think, she was right. And second thing is, it was her picture, so what’s wrong if her grass is red? She likes it.

Another great think, they don’t care what people do. They want red grass, they just make it red. No wondering, what will people say about it. Important is, what they want. No rules, no boarder. Just pure imagination.

And most of adults are doing, what I have done by saying abot green grass. They are killing childrens imagination. Something, what they’ve lost on their own (maybe same way). How many times we hear mother or father reprymending their child: “don’t do this, your clothes will be dirty” or “don’t run too fast, you’ll fall down”. When I think now, my parents never told me “don’t climb this tree” (of course when I was getting too high, they asked me to get little lower). I have fallen many times, my arms and legs were covered with scabs and bruises, but I was getting up and till now, I am still alive 😉 And to be honest I don’t remember any pain after falling, but what I remember is, that I’ve always had a lot of fun. By now, this was the best time in my life. 

And when I see situation, when mother is saying to her child not to get dirty, I feel sorry for this child (I don’t blame mother, as I don’t know, maybe her child has some health problems and it dangerous for him, but still I feel sorry). I feel sorry for all children, who are alowed to play all day on computers, smartphones, watch TV, etc. and are not encouraged to go out and play with other children. I feel sorry, if they don’t know how to ride bike, they don’t play football or generally have fun outside, because they may fall down and get bruises. I am just wondering, how they are going to cope with failures in the future, if they will not learn that now? How they are going to be prepared for beeing adult, if they will not have chance, to find out, how to be a child? And what is the most important: how they will know, how to talk to people, if in childhood the only company for them were electeonic gadgets? So basic skills, which I had learned in childhood (and I think most of us, if we were born before computers became the only activity) will be missing in their life. They’ll have to catch up.

When I visited my friend, who was punishing her son for something and punishment was that he had to stop playing his xbox for one hour (he had to go out instead) and his screaming because of thit, made me feel so depressed. Me and my brothers were begging our parents to ask us to clean all house, if we only could go for one hour out after. It was worthed for us. Being grounded was the worse punishment (I remember one time I even told to my dad, that I prefer he hit me instead of leaving me at home 😀 ).

And don’t get me wrong, we’ve made a lot of mistakes in our childhood. There were a lot of broken windows, broken bikes and hurt children, but we had chance to learn, how to take responsibility for our actions (yes, we had to work for every window, or earn for new bikes, mainly by doing extra chordes at home. When we broke our friend’s leg or arm, we had to help looking after him, and so on). But still I think, we were prepared better to start adult life, than new generations are going to be. We are not requiring anything what we do not deserve, we are not taking anything for granted (ok, most of us doesn’t), we are working hard, for everything we have (no matter if it is rented room or huge owned home, but we’ve got it, because we know, how to work).

Our parents weren’t overprotective and we are still alive. They’ve put in our heads what is right and what is wrong. Of course, they were controling us, when we were going to far with our ideas (can you belive, that when I was five or six I wanted to do bungee jump? But from fourth floor and with laundy string tighed to my leg 😉 my parents stoped me and explain why it wasn’t very best idea 🙂 ). But they let us make our mistakes, so we could feel on our own skin, what consequences we might meet after doing certain things.

And that’s it for my memories and thoughts. I don’t think all parents are overprotective nowadays. And that times changed, but please, at least sometimes control your children from far, let them fall down and get up. And don’t only reprend them. Remember, one day they are going to grow up and if the only memories with their parents will be shouting, do you thing, they are going to come to you with real problems? Or if you were in their shoes, would you? Just little thing to think about.
And now I am going to my summary 😉 :

Arabic lesson – checked 🙂

Tree CSS lessons – checked 🙂

Five chapters of book – checked 🙂

Sunday post – checked 🙂

Plan for tomorrow – checked 🙂

Today’s post – checked 🙂
For now I wish you productive day and some ability to see world the way children do (at least sometimes 😉 ).

Daria

13th day: ok, it just haven’t work…

Hi guys,

Today I am publishing yesterday’s post and unfortunatelly without any summary. I feel very bad about it, but I coudn’t help it.

So let me explain at least. As you already know, I am working in laundry company. And sometimes happen, that we are short of stuff. But yesterday it was just horrible. You might not know, but tomorrow ramadhan starts (this is islamic month, when all muslims are fasting) so because of this almost no one showed up in work. They needed to prepare (do generall cleaning, buy some frozen stuff to fry, some people are even cooking in advance, to freeze), as since tomorrow they will not be able (they will be able to eat between 9:30pm and 2:30am, plus during this time they have long prayer as well). So out of fifteen people only four was there.

This woudn’t be so bad, but a lot of our customers are halal restaurants and they got ready for ramadhan as well, sending us huge amount of clothing to be washed, ironed and packed. All that made me work for fourteen hours (not only me, all four people).

So I finished my work at 10:30 pm (usually it is 4:30). When I arrived home it was already 11. So the only thing I have done, was having my dinner, shover and I went straight to bed. I had tried to write something, but before my phone logged in, I had fallen asleep. So I am writting now, very short post, just to let you know. And today I am going to finish on time, so I’ll try to do more than usually and inform you in my evening’s post for today 🙂

So see you all in the evening and I am going back to work, as my break is almost finish. Have a good day 😉

Daria

12th day: why do people change?

Hi guys,

It’s already 12th day. I can’t belive, how fast our time goes. I still have a feeling, that I had settled this blog yesterday and at the same time I know, that it changed my life completely, like 180° turn. So I think, it’s great opportunity to talk about changes.

Very often we can see two people, who seem to do everything together. Like they never separate. They are just so similar: same hobby, dreams, goals… They spend every minute together. Like anyone else exists.

But after some time something goes wrong. One of them (or sometimes both) realizes, that they don’t have too much in common any more. When they’re meet, they have very little to talk about and almost nothing to do. And each of them thinks: “This other one changed. He/she used to be my soulmate, but now we are strangers to each other”.

And here is very important question: why all those changes have happened? People should be always same, shouldn’t they? Otherwise they aren’t themselves any more. They are becoming someone else. Someone new.

I have been thinking about this quite a lot (I’ve started long time before an idea of this blog appeared in my head) and I’ve came to some conclusions. Let me point them out:

Environment

You can say, what you want, but people around influence us a lot. Very often we adopt some of their behaviours, without even thinking about it. This is one of those things, which happen automatically. And some people will call it “learning process”, while for others it will be just copying. But no matter how you are going to name it, it’s going to happen.

Dreams and goals

This is quite important thing. While setting goals, we need to be aware of who we need to become, to actually achieve them. Each activity we are going to do, will require different behaviours, habits and even ways of thinking. For example, if our dream is to have a child and at the moment we are completely unorganized and carefree, we need to change it (well, at least if we want our child to survive with us). When we want to travel the world and we hardly can afflrd to make it till next payday, we have to have a closer look into our spendings and try to save some money. And many, many other.

Our “experiences bag”

Well, let’s make something clear: no matter what we are doing we are human beings. We make a lot of mistakes. And even if we get up after failures, we still keep them in our mind, so next time when similar situation happen, we know at least, what should we avoid and we look for other solution.

Financial situation

Ok, here we can say whatever we want, but we need to admit one thing: money change people. I am not saying that always for worse (very often happen), but for better as well. When we have enough money, we don’t need to think about where to get some from. We can afford for more, so we are trying new things, getting new experiences and learn from them. That changes us a lot.

Roles, we are playing in life

Well, most of people change, when they get job, when they become husbands, wife, or parents. Their priorities change, so they need to change their life to adjust to new situation.

Things we learn

This is kind a simple. When we learn new stuff, we understand more and our way of thinking changes according to what we know.
And those are things, which came to my mind so far. If you have any other idea, don’t hesitate to let me know in comment box below. I will love to find out what do you think about changes.

I don’t thing, that changes are bad. They are the best prove, that we are actually doing something with our life. That we develop ourself. Even if we change for worse, there is a possibility, that we are going to realize it and we will change again, this time for better. And as long, as all those changes don’t stop us to be who we are, they cannot be bad (at least not so bad). And this is my conclusion 😉

And because it’s late already, I will move straight to today’s summary:

Being active – checked 😉

CSS lesson – checked 🙂

Next few chapters of Sunday book – checked 🙂

Two chapter of book – checked 🙂

Today’s post – checked 🙂

And, of course, plan for tomorrow – checked 🙂
For now I wish very productive day and a lots of good changes in your lives (there is never so good, that it cannot be better). And I’ll see you in next post 🙂

Daria

11th day: can we change the world?

Hi guys,

Today was another shopping day, as our little household runed out of some groceries. And while standing in queue, I’ve heard two men talking (usually I don’t listen to someone’s conversation, but they were so loud, that even my headphones haven’t help me). Here is what they were talking about (not exactly, but words they were using wouldn’t go through my keyboard and I haven’t memorized exactly every word, they’ve said, so remember it’s only main thoughts):

(F)irst: have you heard about terrorist attack in Manchester Arena?

(S)econd: I’ve heard. They shouldn’t have let any muslim to Europe. It was easy to predict, that they’re going to cause problems.

F: Well, what can you do? Now damage is done.

S: If I would be deciding, none of them would be here. Not even single one.

F: Single human cannot change the world, you would do nothing…

And conversation carried on, but I haven’t listened to it any more (maybe better for me, as words, they were using – even if in front of them there were children – well, let’s say, almost every second word would be censored in every TV program) and I’ve just started my own thought proccess.

But first, short explanation: I don’t think every muslim is bad, to be honest I don’t even think, that all those attacks are caused by muslims (maybe some brainwashed, who was simply manipulated and missguided). Just make it straight, I work with a lot of muslims and only in London there are hundreds (if not thousands) of them living, so first of all, they would be able to blow whole London within seconds, just because of number of them. And as I’ve talked to my work mates, any of them is proud or happy of what had happened. Even more, they are very upset, that someone is doing something like this in the name of God. And why most of muslims will say, that terrorist cannot be muslims? Let’s make it short: purpose of living for muslim is to be as good as they can, to be able to go to paradise in hereafter. And one of very important rules is, that person who commit suicide is closing his/here way there (actually very hard punisment is going to happen to this person after death). And if you’ll go deeper into it, you can see, that this is true. And even if some of muslim would do this, we should remember, that we can’t judge whole religion, because of small group, who cause problem. We should remember, that in every group they are different people: some are good, some are bad. But this is up to each of us, who are we going to be and we shouldn’t be judged because of where are we coming from or what do we belive in. And that works in other way: our group shouldn’t be judged by what me or you, as a single person (or few of lots) have done.

But this is my opinion, I don’t want to force any one to change one’s mind. But this is connected with the subject I want to talk about. One of them said, that single person cannot change the world. Is that true?

Let me explain quickly, what I thing about it. First of all, we need to remember, that everything what we do, casue chain reaction. Very often we don’t even know, what we are responsible for.

Some time ago, I saw one advertisement on TV. I don’t remember exact chain, but what happened was, that boss shouted at his employee, than on the way back, he shouted at bus driver, bus driver did same to his wife, she rised her voice to their son, who started fighting with his friend on playground. And this last one, as it turned out, was boss’ son. And whole chain closed.

All those people got angry, because of one person and finally it came back to him as well. So maybe we can’t change whole world completely. We can’t make other people change their behaviour, but what we can definitely do, is to try give some little sun shine to every other person, who would pass it to next one, and that one to another…

And even if we can’t reach every single person in the world, we will make huge difference. But what is the best in all this: you don’t have to do anything extra hard. Very often simple smile will do, or little help given to someone in need and someone’s life will become a bitt better and more happiness will be there as well. And this happiness is going to be passed further and further.

What is the problem of today’s word? According to me the worse are invisible walls we are building every day. Walls between people, who are slightly different then we are. Just because they were born in other place, or they have different colour of skin, or their believes differs.

There is only one thing, that scares me in all that. And this thing is, that we are the one’s who cause it. Children learn from us to hate those people and love the other. I’ve never met a child, who wouldn’t play with other, because their skin colour differes or they are wearing different cloths. Parents and other adults from around children are responsible for this. And this is scaring, as this small thing is starting huge chain, which will never ever ends, if as many of us as possible won’t stop it. Just let’s try to be like those child, innocent and not wise enough (or maybe wiser, than we, adults, are) and let’s start looking at people as same as we are. And if we have to judge, judge through prism of their personality, not background.

That’s all of my thoughts for today (there were much more, but this one brought so many emotions to me, so I’ve choosen it to share with you). But please, don’t get me wrong. I am not trying to tell anyone what to do. This is my opinion. Everyone can have some other.

But because it became very serious, so better let’s move to today’s summary:

Being active: checked 🙂

One chapter of book: checked 🙂

One CSS lesson: checked 🙂

Arabic excercises: checked 🙂

Plan for tomorrow: checked 🙂

And today’s post: checked 🙂
I think that’s all for today. Like always I wish you very productive day and as much happiness as possible. Because what is amazing about happiness? Even if you share it, you still have same amout of it, it doesn’t cost you anything. But at the same time, it’s going to come back to you again, double in strength. So this is what I wish to everyone today (and not only today 😉 ).

And I’ll see you next time 🙂

Daria

10th day: can you overheat your brain?

Hi guys,

My yesterday’s post is again late. My router decided, that there is no point of working and he just stopped. This time completely. Today is going to be changed after my work, so I decided to use my break and go to coffe shop for my lunch and publish this post (so good, that there is free wi-fi in almost every coffee shop). So just have a look, what I had to tell you yeserday 😉

Today was very hard day for me. Not because of huge amount of work or something, but because of… temperature. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it before, but I am working in laundry company. We are washing napkins and table clothes for restaurants, bed cloths for hotels and every kind of work suits. Any way this is not hard, but what is worse is ironing. For all this time it was easy for me, as outside wasn’t too hot. But today it was. And short of stuff made me work in between two huge ironing maschines. But work came to the end.

After coming home I had horrible headache and even drinking 3l of water in work, haven’t help me not to feel thirsty. When I’ve counted it, during whole day I’ve drunk four 1,5l bottles of water. And all the time one thought kept coming into my head: is it possible to overheat your brain? I don’t know why, because of course I knew it is.

Any way, today it was very hard for me to focus. But I’ve force my overheated brain (by the way, today I feel good already 😉 ) to do some work, so today I am not going to share any other thought (I think this post is the shortest so far) and I’ll go straight to today’s summary:

Being active  – checked 😉 

CSS lesson – checked 🙂

Arabic lesson – checked 🙂

One chapter of book – checked 🙂

Plan for tomorrow – checked 🙂

Today’s post – checked 🙂

And what is new: few chapters of Sunday’s book with notes – checked 🙂
Now I am going to bed and as always I wish you productive day (and because of summer is round the corner, don’t forget to drink enough water 😉 ). And I’ll see you in my next post 🙂

Daria

9th day: because after every storm, good weather is coming… finally

Hi guys,

Today I will start my post with some announcement: finally I picked book, which I am going to write about on Sunday. And I am actually looking forward to it. While doing my research I found quite a lot of very interesting titles. I think, those posts are going to be great fun for me (and I really hope, that for you as well 😉 ). I wanted to add, that idea of doing this kind of stuff wasn’t mine originally. I have no idea how about English websites or blogs, but in polish one there are some people doing this. But I will try to do this slightly different, including myself in it. I hope you’ll like it (as these post are going to be dedicated to my readers only. I will benefit as well (by actually learning some different ways of motivation), but you are my motor in this project, for what I want to say one think: thank you).

Ok, so now let’s move to my day. Every one who lives in London knows, that today’s weather was great. Sunny and warm. Like a dream, but in reality 😉 so as I opened my eyes and realized how beautiful is outside, I had a lot of energy to use 😉

So after my breakfast I have finished my HTML course and found CSS one. Both of them are very short, as they are introducing only basis of those languages, but for the beginner like me, they are perfectly fine 😉

Still I am not very well, so I haven’t enough courage to take my bike, but I had long walk instead 😉 I went to park, where for first 20 mins I was just walking and enjoing nice weather and after I’ve sat down on grass and I’ve red few chapters of my book (which, by the way, seems to be one of the better ones). When my eyes got tired enough, I decided to do some research and find some book for my Sunday’s post (and this is what I’ve done, tomorrow I need to pick it up from library).

This activity finished my visit in park, as reality (read: hunger) came to me and I needed to do some grocery shopping, do my chores, and have my dinner  ðŸ˜‰ .

What I’ve done after is to draw how my website is going to look like. What is going to be where and contain what. Even if it had been done on piece of paper, I am very happy about it, as this small thing is going to help me a lot, when I’ll start actually coding.

Another thing is, that I’ve done revision of my Arabic lesson and I finally got how to pronounce all letters properly or at least close to right way (my husband helped me a lot to get that right, so huge thank to him).

And I’ve prepared plan for tomorrow. Even if it’s going to be a busy day, I am looking forward to it.

But while we are talking about excitement about work to do, I will share one thought with you. Actually it didn’t come to me just like that. I’ve been asked question: “how can you be excited about work? Normal people are excited, while work is done, so they can rest. What’s wrong with you?”.

What’s wrong with me? Well, I don’t know. But what I am pretty sure about, is that it depends what goals you want to achieve and what is going to be fun for you. For example, I am trying to make my dreams such a way, that no matter if I am actually going to achieve them (of course I hope I will), as only working on them is going to be fun for me.

Maybe it’s because I am born as an introvert. I like spending time with people, but time I’m spending alone, let me stay who I really am and keeps me happy. That’s why most of my goals I need to do on my own, as for me this whole way to achieve them is giving me peace of mind. And this time on my own helps me interact with other people and be ready for compromises, as I have quite a lot of time, where only my opinion matters. No suggestion, no complains.

I know it sound very selfish. But this is true. Everyone is different, but all of us have similar roles to play in our lifes. We are workers, family members, friends, students and many, many more. And it depends on us how good we are going to be in each of those roles and every of them. And to be good in as many of them, as we can, we need to find our way. And this is my way.

Similar is with this blog. Even if after ten year only five people will read it, it will be fun for me any way. Just because only proccess of writing posts every day, makes me feel good.

This way of living was introduced to me through my friend. As every day when I was trying to contact her on certain time (it was around five hours every day) she wouldn’t answer. She was calling it her own time. And when I asked her, what does she do during this time, she said, she is doing some project, which will never be seen by world. Why? Because for her act of doing this was more important, than results. She was doing something what belongs only to her. Anyone told her, that she should do this or that different way, or she should change this and replace that. Everything was completely like she wanted. That amazed me.

Any way, let’s do today’s summary:

HTML course – checked 🙂

Book red – checked:)

Being active -checked 🙂

Arabic revision – checked 🙂

Plan for tomorrow – checked 🙂

First desing of my website – checked 🙂

And today’s post – checked 🙂
This is going to be everything for today. I wish you very productive day 😉

Daria

8th day: productivity equal to zero?

Hi guys,

Today’s post appeared even later than usually, but I couldn’t help it. When I am starting typing, it is already almost 4 am, here in London. But it has been very hard day.

As you can see title of this blog, today not too much have been done. And it isn’t only my fault. This is what I was thinking at least.

So very short view of my day: I came back from work with very high temperature and I went straight to bed. As my eyes were tearing, I couldn’t even read (actually reading was the only activity, which is going to be checked today and have been started at 2:30 am, when I was feeling better).

So I was thinking, that this is ok. No matter how we look at it, I wasn’t well. But on the other hand, isn’t this way of doing called “making excuses”? What I mean by is that I’ve thought about so many people, who’s life is hard every day. And any way, they achieved so much. And I haven’t heard them complain (at least not in interviews, I don’t know them personally 😉 ).

Who I am talking about? First person is Stephen Hawkins, for instance. I don’t think I need to introduce him to any one. He can’t move, can’t talk and any way, he doesn’t look like someone who is thinking: “Man, you can’t move, what are you doing it for? Take rest, you are not well!”.

Next person is Nick Vujicic. Man who was born without legs and arms. On the beginning he was very depressed because of his body. He thought, he is not going to do anything great, because how? He was thinking, that even everyday’s activities are going to be impossible. I am not sure, but if I am not mixing it with other story, he has even atempted to commit suicide, but he failed. And look at him now. Still he hasn’t have neither legs or arms, but he is doing amazing. I don’t know any one, who can deliver speach, which is going to be more motivating than his one. And by the way, he got married mean time and he has even a child. Isn’t that great?

And when we are talking about people, we need to mention all disabled people, who against their disabilities, are working on their passions. People, who’s live is already hard, complain less and find less excuses than we, who in eyes of society an government doesn’t have any difficulties. They are just taking life as it is and trying to make all the best out of it.

That’s why I don’t feel sad for all people, who weren’t so lucky like me and most of us. I am just impressed of them. And very often I have the thought, that we are the one, who should be called disabled (not all of us and not always, but sometimes I would call myself like that), as they are learning how to live on their own, even if this is extremely hard. They don’t give up, no matter what kind of obstacle stand on their way. And finally, they have so much courage, to face the whole world and show to other people, that they are same (actually, according to me, even a bit better).

I remember one time, I was so upset as children at scool were making fun of me, because I was the smallest. I was questioning my parents (as if it was their fault) why me? After that, I saw an interview with a girl, who lost her leg after car accident. She’s been asked if she doesn’t feel, upset about this? Her answer made me feel so ashamed. She said: “Well, in the beginning I was, but after I’ve realized, that each and every part of my body I’ve got for free. It was some kind of gift. I haven’t work for that. After this accident I became gratefull, as I haven’t lost my life. And there is a lot of people, who are in worse situation and still are doing stuff, I wouldn’t be able to do, even before I’ve lost my leg. They just haven’t given up.” (I’ve put those words in quotes, but they are not actual words of this girl. I’ve just translated main points).

That’s why I’ve decided to consider my 8th day as not productive and try my best, to make next one much better.

Very quick summary:

Few chapters of book: checked.

And for now I wish you very productive and happy day. And I’ll see you in tomorrow’s post.

Daria

7th day: can we expect unexpected?

Hi guys,

Today has been a very hard day, as I was sick all day (well, I am still sick). So after my GP appointment, I’ve spent the entire day in bed. It wasn’t too bad and still I’ve done some stuff. Obviously not so much as I wished, but better this than nothing 😉

But before I’ll procceed to this, I would like to tell you about something I’ve heard recently (I am not sure where, propably on the radio or someone told me). So it was story of one man from my city back home, who hasn’t turn out in work, because his son had an accident. He hasn’t informed his boss either, explaining that he simply hasn’t thought about this that particular time (and of course I can understand that). But what was the main point of his story, that because of this he had been fired.

His boss’ explanaition was, that he has used his days off for unexpected situations (short explanation from me: in Poland, except holidays planned in advance, you have few days off for unexpected situation and you need to inform your boss same day about fact, that you are not going to come. As far as I know, you don’t need to tell what is the reason and it depends on where you work, but usually you have up to ten days every year).

And here is my question: can we really expect, that something unexpected is going to happen, let’s say tomorrow? He used his days off before (and I have no idea whether he had any good reason or just laziness won), but could he predict, that this particular day, something is going to happen to his son?

We have saying in Poland, which we can translate like: “misfortunes always walk in company” or the other one: “if something is about to tumble down, everything will collapse at the same time” (sorry for translation, but I hope you’ve got my point). But why I’ve brought it here is, that sometimes we have many years in our live, when anything really serious happen. But the other day, we are just realizing, that it was just silence before the storm and out of a sudden evrything goes wrong. We think we’ve sorted one problem, but many more are coming almost straight away.

So can we really be sure, that ten days is enough to sort everything what might come unexpectedly?

Giving certain amount of days for unexpected things is actually a try to expect, that there will be no more of unexpected situations than let’s say our ten days. But unfortunatelly it doesn’t work like that.

And when I’ve realized that, I’ve started to feel very sorry for this man. I don’t know him, but at the time, when he really needs work, to be able to pay for his son’s rehabilitation, he loses it. While he should be able to sort it out on his own, he has to ask other people for donation, otherwise his child might not be able to walk.

This scares me actually. Not only his case, it could happen to every one. We can even have great, well-paid job, but something happen and out of a sudden we can lose people who are the most important for us and any amount of money is going to help us.

That’s why I’m requesting you, to always be gratefull for what and, the most important, who you have around you. And always appreciate what people do for you, especially your family and friends. They are the one, who helped you become who you are at the moment, so no matter how busy you are, find some time to let them feel, that they are important for you. And in case of any emergency, they will always be there, to help or just support you. Remember that.

Ok, but finishing my thoughts, let’s move to my goals.

First of all I wasn’t active today 😦 but this time it wasn’t my fault, so I feel not too bad about it 😉

I’ve done some Arabic excercises – checked 🙂

One HTML lesson – checked:)

And I’ve red a lot – checked 🙂
It isn’t huge amount of work, but quite a lot of time I’ve spent on sleeping (today I alowed myself – getting better is important 😉 ), so I am glad of whatever it is any way 😉

And for today I am going to finish this post and I hope you enjoyed it. I wish you all very productive day and as less unexpected events (at least those bad one) as possible. Have a good time.

Daria

Day 5th and 6th: Sometimes everything just go wrong. And does business kill art?

Hi guys,

Yesterday and today were rainy days in London. Personally, my mood and motivation depend on weather a lot. This is how I work: a little sun outside and my face is bright with huge smile, but when outside it’s gray and it’s raining, the only thing I want to do is sleeping. Of course I can’t afford to sleep whole day, so I just carried on in zombie mode (thought for today: person who invented coffee should be called a hero).

And even if today I felt a bit more motivated and work seemed easier, yesterday I’ve checked some activities on my goal’s list as well. Unfortunatelly, my router decided, that he is not going to work either. Well, sometimes happen. That’s why today’s post is a combination of two days.

Today I am not going to bore you with any thoughts or something. It could spoil your mood (which I hope is great at the moment 😉 ). But I’ve decided to add one more point to my goal list and this is what I am going to tell you about.

But first, let me start with some explanation. As you may know, I’ve started this blog to get some more motivation, some short term reward for my work (which is possibility to write about this in my post and share with you). But of course when you get same reward every day, it becomes your routine and you are not waiting for this any more (it haven’t happen to me yet, but possibly can in the future). And here comes greatness of my blog: if the other day I will decide just to let my time go by without doing anything, I won’t have anything to write about. And this will become huge punishment for me. I am going to have this feeling, that something is missing. That I haven’t done something, what is such a fun for me. And this keeps me going. Even if I’ve started less than a week ago, this blog became my weapon in hard war with procrastination.

Even yesterday, when I finished my post and I’ve failed with posting it here, I felt that something I am actually waiting for isn’t going to happen. And I’ve understood, how important this blog already is for me.

So what I intend to do is to give some love to this. Make it more valuable for you. So I decided to do more things: first of them is to keep adding one motivational quote every month (I have two already, very important to me – but those quote’s stories I’ll tell you in one of the future posts). Second thing is, that I am going to add one review of self-development connected book every two weekes (not exactly review, just main points of book. Why? I think, self-development is very personal thing and something what does work for me, might not work for others and reverse). First book-post is going to appear on my blog on Sunday 28th of May. I hope you are going to like it. I haven’t choosen any particular title yet, but I am going to have a look and pick something 😉

Ok, previous part was just edited post from yesterday. And I’ve changed my mind. I’ll share one thought with you. Something what is sitting in back of my head, deeply inside. One simple question: does business kill art and some kind of sensitivity needed to actually do something creative (whatever kind of art we are talking about)?

Let’s take writters for example. Many times I’ve read book, which blew my mind. I just couldn’t belive, how someone can write something so good, how is it possible? Author is selling huge amout of copies and you just can’t wait till next part will be finished. Every day you are thinking, when I can read it? When it’s going to be published?

And finally this day comes. Next part is avaiable in every bookshop and you are first in long long queue to get it. You can’t resist and you start reading on the way back home. First chapter, second and the other one. Wait… Something’s wrong… You read next chapter, and next. But still, something is missing. Is it the style of writting? No… Story doesn’t seem to be interesting. It looks like all misery, unexpected situations, which were happening in first part are gone now. You are able to predict what is going to happen in next scene, it’s just too simple.

How do you feel? Well… disappointed? And your thinking proccess cannot stop. What’s happened? How it’s possible, that such a good writer, wrote something like… this?

But whatever happened, is past now. You’ve even started to forget. Your brain works again, thinking about regular, everyday’s stuff. But some time after you see interview on TV or you just read it in newspaper. Your author, being interviewed. Memories come back, you want to know, what he has to say as an explanation.

Itroduction. You don’t understand too much. Some single words like: bestseller, best author of our time are coming to your mind, but it doesn’t matter to you. You are waiting for one answer, just one.

And it doesn’t come. Another disappointment. And your brain start thinking again. And finally, in the middle of the night your answer comes, simple and genius at the same time. Just one question have been asked, and indirect answer for your question, completely different. This magical question was: How long it took you to write your books? And answer: first one year, second one three months…

And now you know: next part was written too quick. Author hasn’t spent enough time, to make it perfect like first one. It was written in hurry. Simple like that.

Why? Was it contract, stating that next part should be written by this time? Or just craving for more money? Or simply, book was written to please readers or publishers and have been changed on the way?

No matter what the reason was, it wasn’t author’s book in 100%.

And here is the problem. For author, writting became way for earning money. And this is perfectly fine. The only problem is, that process of writting had been lost on the way. Writting became craft for craft. Book wasn’t written for having fun, doing something what was his passion. It was for any other reason. There is no more unique personality in there, something what is neccessary to perform any kind of craft. Business killed it.

That’s why here is my request (you don’t have to listen it, as I am not any kind of artist, but I need to share it with you): if you do any kind of art, make sure you keep it in your unique way. When someone offer you money for that, go for it. Just don’t forget, that you should do whatever you do for yourself first, after for any other reason. And that way your art will be always great. Just think about it: if someone offered you money for your passion, you must be great in it. So don’t change it.

Ok, this day had gotten so long already, so I am going to share short summary of two days only.
5th day’s summary:

Chapter of book have been red – checked 🙂

One HTML lesson – checked 🙂

Arabic lesson revision – checked 🙂

Plan for next day – checked 🙂

Post – written, but not posted 😦
6th day’s summary:

Chapter of book – checked 🙂

HTML lesson – checked 🙂

Arabic lesson – checked 🙂

Post on this blog – checked 🙂

Plan for tomorrow – checked 🙂
Unfortunately, it’s been raining so I couldn’t force myself to go by bike to my work, or at least walk. So being active – failed 😦

And for now I am going to take my way in my bed’s direction. I wish you all to make what you love and always be yourself. Have a productive day and I see you in my next post tomorrow 🙂

Daria