Art of saying “No” (days eight to eleven)

Hi guys,

Today again after some break (I think it’s four days). And unfortunately now I have no choice, but change days when posts are going to be published. Instead of every day, posts are going to be published every Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday (except that yesterday it wasn’t any and one is today instead) and self-development’s book post is going to be published every Wednesday. All those changes, because I have been asked to work for two months, as my friend is going for holiday. So every evening plus full day every Sunday I am going to take her shift. Why? Because even if I knew I won’t have time for much alse, even if I was desperate to say “No”, I’ve said “Yes” instead.

So now after my regular job, I have four hours to be spent in restaurant as a waitress. It has been already one week since I am working like this and I can’t say it’s easy. It’s very hard actually.

To be honest on the beginning I was very upset, because by agreeing, I said “goodbye” to my free time. Now I am still upset, but the reason is different. Because of lack of time, I need to be very choosy, if it is about spending my time. I can’t do everything, so I needed to set priorities, what have been very hard for me since I remember (I’ve just wanted to do everything at the same time). But now, I have huge opportunity to practise this.

And any way, now, when I have only 2-4 hours every day, I can get skills, which are going to be very usefull in the future, when I’ll have much more of free time. This is the only think about it, which makes me happy.

I think increasing my free time (and how I am going to do this) is worthed to be mention as well. So as I’ve said before, working for twelve plus hours every day is extremely hard, but not impossible. So I’ve decided, that for next one year I’ll give it a chance. Well, a bit less, as in the end of September my uni starts. But any way, for whole this time, me and my husband (as he admited it is worth trying) are going to work a lot and save as much as we can, so after that, we can slow down without worrying about our finances and fully focus on our personal goals.

So this is a reason why posts are going to appear every second day. As except my two works, I am stil going to work on my personal stuff, so when I’ll be able to slow down, I won’t need to start everything from zero.

Ok, I have written a lot about what had happened and what is going to happen, but let’s talk about right subject of this post.

Art of saying “No”

So during this past week, I have been asking myself, why I have agreed fo all this. I could just say “No” and live like I have been living before. And to be honest, “No” was the most desired word I wanted to say, when my friend asked me for this favour. Well, I haven’t. Why? I was thinking, that I don’t want to make her life hard (if she wouldn’t find anyone to take her place, after coming back she would be without job).

And I think this is the reason, why a lot of us is doing things, we don’t realy want. We are trying to please everyone else, but ourselves. I’ve catched myself on doing this many times. Especially when I was much younger (well, now I’ve presented, that not too much had changed since that time). I have been doing some things to make others happy. Even if it wasn’t so exciting for me.

So this is my new goal: learn how to say no.

And I don’t mean, that I am not going to help anyone. It isn’t about it. But next time I am going to make sure first, that this is not going to be harmful for me. If I am not going to sacrifise something, what is very important to me, I will propably be very happy to help. I’ve realised, that after all, I need to care for myself, as there aren’t a lot of people who will do this if I won’t.

Ok, I think for today that’s all what I wanted to share (as this post is being produced in bus on my way back home). I will see you tomorrow in next post. But for now, I wish you productive day and ability to say “No”, when it’s neccessary.

Daria
PS. I’ve decided, that I will keep skipping daily summary and replace it with weekly one. In tomorrow’s post I am going to explain in details why, but to make it short: I’ve decided to focus on one thing each day. So if summary will contain only one thing, there is no point of having one.

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