Today, I would like to talk about something, what touches each of us every day. By this I mean our experiences from past. Of course, each of us have different experiences, comes from different background; but what we all have in common, is that no matter what our experiences were, they are still having impact on our today’s life.
What is interesting? Even if you’ll take two people with similar experience in the past, this particular experience might have completely different impact on each of this person. And to make it even more complicated ( 😉 ), it depends on other experiences each of this person had and how they coped with it.
Why I am talking about this? As a child, I’ve been playing hide and seek game with my friends. That time I was spending my holiday in my grandma’s home. While searching for a perfect place to hide, I’ve realised that basment’s door aren’t locked (even if usually they were) and I’ve decided that this will be the place, where I should be hiding in.
I went down and to make it even harder for my friends to find me, I’ve sat behind two bags of potatoes. I was hidden perfectly, so they couldn’t find me too quick. It took them so long that I have fallen asleep.
When I finally woke up, I was so angry that they didn’t even try to find me. Just forgot about my existence. Ready to make huge rumour, I went to the door just to realise… that they are locked. Of course, I haven’t panicked straight away, as I knew that someone is going to walk by the door, I will make noise and they will ask my uncle to let me out (only he and my grandma had a key to the basement door). However, no one came (I didn’t know about it at that time, but my grandma already mobilised all village to search for me in bushes and everywhere where it was possible). When I became hungry (and at that point a bit scared) I’ve decided to have some jam, my grandma used to make and store in the basement. And when I moved the jar, I saw a rat, who propably got scared too (well, I’ve started screaming, so this could be the reason), as he just jumped and started running away. I was so terrified, that I’ve run to the door and haven’t stop screaming till my grandmas neighbour haven’t found me (I am not able to determine how long it took).
After all those years, I am able to laugh about this situation. However, I can’t help my mice’ and rats’ phobia. Whenever I see one, you might be sure I will change my location within less than 1 minute. I am getting some kind of super power that time, believe me 😉
Similarly, because of years of being in and out in hospital, I can’t just pass by someone who is hurt without helping. How I know that this particular experience cause this behaviour? Because I can see all these people I was sharing hospital rooms with, every time when I see someone in pain. Some of them were crying all night because of constant pain, some passed away being just a children (for long time I thought that children don’t die – unfortunately they do).
And they are many of things from my past playing a huge role in my life. Some kind of them are making me who I am. Some of their influence I would like to remove from my life; the other make me proud of myself (yeah, for sure it is modest 😉 ) and the rest are just neutral for me. But they are there, causing certain reactions during certain events. And they are just part of me. Whether I like it, or not.
If you ever regretted any of your behaviours, try to determine if there is any expierience of your past, which cause it. Understanding the reason, might help you overcome unwanted results taking place now.
And with this thought, I am going to leave you today. I wish you a very productive day and I’ll see you in my Wednesday’s post.