Today was the day, when I’ve realised I should make a lot of changes. First of all, I need to update this blog (which I am going to do during the weekend, hopefully), as the purpose of me sharing with you slightly changed. I might change it visualy, if I will find something more appealing.
But also I have been watching my videos on YouTube and the time to change them came as well. Maybe it is my perfectionism, but I think it is not as it should be. You can’t really learn too much from them, some things require more explanation. So next week, apart of me preparing for my exam and working on my assignments, I will be focused on this.
This last few weeks have been very rough for me. I always wanted to have a lot of children, but as my pregnancy progresses, I am starting to change my mind. I haven’t suspected that it is going to have so huge impact on me. Especially, that this is the thing being done by so many women every day. Unfortunatelly, it turned out to be extremely hard to stay awake during the day, even though I am sleeping well during the night. But as the first trimester came to the end and second came with my well-being increased, I am hoping that now everything will go up-hill.
Any way, as I finally started to feel a bit better and unexpected visits in hospital ended too, I’ve decided that there will not be a better time to start getting things done.
This reminds me about my dad’s words: “There is no such a thing like perfect time. If you want to achieve something, you need to work for it, even, if the time seems to be the worse in your time. At the end of the day, you don’t know if it isn’t the best time you are going to have up to end of your life.” And there is so much truth in these words. As older I am getting, as more I understand them. Life is not getting easier. There are more and more responsibilities, so waiting for this perfect time seem less and less possible. Maybe this is one of these things, which you don’t understand till you will gain some experience?
Any way, I’ve decided this is the best time to set to work and catch up with everything. I wish to get ahead with this blog and with my YouTube channel, as I can imagine that having a new member in a family might turn our lives the whole 180°. Probably at the beginning it is not going to be the easiest time.
I know that all this seems like I am complaining, but I’m really not. The fact of having a little person, part of me, is actually very exciting. And as this blog is supposed to be my motivation to do as much as I can, I need to say, that this not even born yet child is playing this role much better. It’s just a thing, that I want to be able to give him or her (as we don’t know the gender yet) the best future I can. I wish to be able to show the whole world to this little human and to be able to let him or her find and maintain a passion, which will possibly be his/her way of earning money and hopefully a source of joy and fullfilment.
This might seem easy, but it is not actualy. Sometimes to find passion, we need to try a lot of differnt things, even if it is only to find out that this is not that thing. And this might or might not be connected with signing for different activities. My biggest dream at the moment is to make sure, that I will not have to say “no” to my child, when it will want to try something, just because we can’t afford to sign for particular classes.
And although it is extremely hard at the moment, it will be worth it at the end. It is worth it to suffer a bit now, but be able to watch how part of me is going to grow, learn how to be a good person and what most important, it is worth it to be a part of all othe whole proccess.
So, as you could realise, this post is my coming back post. I just threw everything from my mind (that’s why it might be a bit chaotic) and now I am ready to come back with my regular posts.
So for now I wish you a very productive day and I’ll see you in my next post.