What is procrastination for me?

Hi guys,

Today I would like to talk to you about the subject, I think all of us know very well. Although I was talking about it so much, even on this blog, there are still so many things to consider, so many tactics to try. Especially, that we are all different by definition, we all had various experiences, that made us who we are. Our genes are the most amazing thing we could think of. All of us have a DNA code, which is built of the same pieces in all of us, but at the same time, just playing with the combinations, it made us so different. All this make it very difficult to find a golden way that works for everyone. That’s why knowing that I was talking about this subject so many times, today I’ll tell you about procrastination again.

I wish I would not procrastinate in my life at all. I do imagine myself having everything done and as a new task appears, getting it sorted right away. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case for me. At least not always it is. I mean, I am ‘productive’. You could hardly find a while in my day when I don’t do anything. But somehow, I keep finding myself trying to manage all my deadlines. I don’t have many things to do that are controlled by anyone. I don’t have a boss who would make me focus on my work. There is no one to guide me through the hierarchy of my tasks. Even more, I am the one who assigns the tasks to myself.

When I was in my full-time job, I was dreaming about a situation like this. Freedom, I can work whenever I want, I can take a day off whenever I want. But at the same time, I have to make sure that I have anything to do, that I will start earning money at some point, that my today’s actions will lead to earning money sometime in the future. I’ve decided that this is the best time. If I will not take some steps now, there won’t be a better time in the future.

But taking steps isn’t as easy as it seems. Being experienced procrastinator makes it easy to to find an excuse. Why? Because starting anything brings responsibilities, brings fear, and finally, brings uncertainty. I could work my butt off, but I might not succeed. I might give up, being just a step of achieving my goal, just because I won’t see it.

Starting anything brings some responsibilities. Whether I would like it or not, I would have a lot more tasks, some deadlines… But most important, more excuses. There will be tasks to be done urgently. If not, there might be consequences. There will be taxes to pay, contracts to sign and all these legal stuff that a lot of businessmen and freelancers complain about. But every procrastinator knows that there will be many excuses not to start too.

Since I have become interested in procrastination, I’ve been looking for its definition. But not an official one. The one giving an answer and understanding. I just wanted to know what is the nature of my procrastination. How can I fight it? Can I at all?

When I was analysing it recently, I think I did understand it. Procrastination is a fear of starting. Because starting brings responsibilities and consequences. And sometimes, we might not be ready for it. I know it from my example, that if I start, I can work for hours, forgetting about hunger, sleeping or taking a break. But the scary thing is starting. Because starting means that I will eventually finish it. Starting means that I am committing to bringing it to an end. Even if I am not doing it consciously. But at the moment of starting, I hope that at some point I’ll have a finished product, not a job left undone. And this is scary sometimes.

And of course, I know that all this post might be useless for many people. I know, that everyone might have their own reason to procrastinate. And here is the solution in my opinion. To beat procrastination, you must start by finding the root. Only being aware of it will help you. This will be your weapon. In one of the cartoons, I used to watch as a child, it was said, that the best weapon is to know your enemy. Knowing his strengths and weaknesses will be your advantage. The only weapon helping you each time.

I think that I found my weapon and I understand my enemy much better. I have much more confidence and I am winning a lot of battles already. Now, my goal is to win a war. I can’t eliminate procrastination out of my life. I know it already. I have to teach myself how to silence it whenever I might need it. I have to become the one, who wins every battle. Because this war is going to last.

Daria

PS. I hope you like this kind of post, where I just throw stuff out of my mind. Please leave me a comment below with your opinion and as always I wish you a very productive day.

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