Luckily, failure is a part of a success

Hi guys,

For a while, I haven’t been posting again. Was I failing? Well, yes and no. I’ve spent some days checking where my time goes. I couldn’t believe that I haven’t been achieving a lot each day while feeling busy almost the entire day. Something had to be wrong. And that is when I realised that on average I am spending three to four hours a day searching for things: my keys, documents I need, my craft supplies. Well, it looks like my clutter is the issue or at least a huge part of the issue. During this time, I would be able to do so many things, but instead, I am stuck on one task, just because I can’t find the necessary things to complete it.

This brings me to reevaluate my priorities once again. Dealing with my clutter has become my number one thing on my TO-DO. Just imagine, three extra hours each day. This would allow me to accomplish so many things, and finally, be able to move forward with my numerous projects and plans.

Ok, so you might ask how does sorting my clothes go? It goes great. Am I done? Not yet. Did I do progress in this matter? Definitely! And that’s what counts to me. The recent realisation made me understand, that whatever I can manage to do during the day, I am accomplishing it while looking after my son, playing with him, cooking, shopping and the list goes on. And still, little by little I am doing it. I’ve managed to get on the top of my washing. Well, almost did, but there is no overflowing washing basket and piles of clothes to wash around it. There are no piles of clothes waiting to be folded and put away. My home already looks much better. Where the issue is? My wardrobes and chests of drawers where I keep clothes. They ARE overflowing. However, today I managed to sort out my son’s clothes, so there is a progress.

So if you ask me if I am failing, I will answer: yes and no. I am failing to keep up with my goals but at the same time, I am creating an environment that will allow me to have my space back. So I am kind of a winner too. And at the same time, I spent so much quality time with my son. And let’s be honest: that’s what’s the most important to me right now.

That’s all I wanted to share with you today. I wish all of you as many hopefully days, filled with small successes. Because remember, it is better to make one tiny step forward, than a huge step backwards.

I’ll see you in my next post.


Let’s talk YouTube

Hi guys,

I am writing today’s post early in the morning. All this is because today is going to be a very busy day, so at least one thing I can do ahead of time is to schedule this post and tick it off my agenda. Today’s to-do list contains over 40 tasks. I know that probably a lot of them will be done tomorrow, but just in case I could manage I did plan a lot. Of course, some of the tasks are very simple and aren’t going to take as much time, but some of them, like my YouTube video (it consists of six or seven tasks) have some things to do that are going to take a while. And I would like to get at least three of them done, to be a week ahead. Of course, we will see how it goes.

But as you could see in my title, I would like to talk about my YouTube channel. Or most likely channel. As you might know, it is one of my goals to carry on with uploading videos on regular basis. It helps me work on my persistence and helps me learn about video editing. As I will have more videos, hopefully, a bit bigger audience (at the moment it consists of my husband and me) I will get access to data, which will teach me what drives attention and what doesn’t. And this is always a good thing if I were to work at home. I will always have to sell something, either my service or a product. And knowing about video editing and SEO will be very helpful in advertising.

Ok, but what about my channels? Didn’t I always talk about one channel? Yes, that’s true. But around four years ago I started my first YouTube channel. I’ve posted two videos (which are by the way deleted) but had to give up. It turned up that gaining skills in programming and editing at the same time was more than I could afford at once. But this was my first idea and my channel still exists. After some time I became very interested in planning and organising and I started looking up videos with various planners and was to become a more organised person. I went across a bullet journal community. It changed my life forever. A bullet journal is a planner, which you create yourself from scratch. You have 100% control over things you have to include to make it work for you. So I was watching tons of videos, where people were creating these colourful pages, full of lists, to-dos, calendars and trackers. It was involving some artistic aspects. And this seemed to be the best option for me. I am the person, who always doodles on the margins of any notebook, who draws on any blank space of a newspaper. And no, I am not artistically talented, but I love it. I love trying different media, like markers, paints, etc. And yes, my drawings look like these made by a 3-year-old kid (I am getting better, though). I was having a bullet journal for some time, and finally, I’ve decided to start my channel. It helped me gain some video editing knowledge (although it is still very basic), while simply recording what I was doing anyway – creating my bullet journal.

I’ve never even suspected that it takes hours, if not days of work to create one video that lasts around 15 (usually I have between 2 to 4 hours of footage, which I have to go through, cut any unnecessary parts and speed up remaining parts, trying to make my videos interesting to watch. Just this usually takes at least 3 hours, if we are talking about 2 hours of footage, but still, there is voiceover to record, text appearing on the screen, and so many more things to add. My videos are still quite basic. Sometimes I know that they must be boring to watch, but I am working on skills to create more flow and interest. But so far, I have at least a lot of fun making them, and that’s why I am planning on carrying on. We’ll see how it goes, and fingers crossed that tomorrow I will have three of them done, so I can be one week ahead with my work on videos. And I will update you in my tomorrow’s post.

For now, I wish you a very productive weekend and I’ll see you in my next post.


Ok… what about this goals?

Hi guys,

It’s just the beginning of me changing my life and I am failing again. But this time I am also ok with that. The last couple of weeks included a lot of appointments and some admin work to get my son settled with his therapies. So when I said last time that my home is an unorganised disaster, now it is just one big mess. But we will deal with that also. Especially since only two nights left and I am going to have one once-a-week proper sleep night instead of going to work and trying to live on 3 or 4 hours of sleep and hectolitres of coffee. And I know that the way I am living now isn’t healthy at all, but on the other hand, I don’t have much choice at the moment. This should be another reason why I want to start earning from home. But this is still a long way to go, so let’s focus on the present.

As I did close to nothing regarding deep cleaning and organising our space, my priorities had to change. My goal for this weekend and the following week will be to simply clean it, so we don’t live in piles of dust (fortunately just one week of dust), that our floors are clean and nice to walk on barefoot and so on. And it is not gross (yet!), it’s just that we haven’t spent much time in our place recently. The weather was (and still is) amazing, so we try to spend as much time as we can outdoors. Even most of the admin jobs I mentioned before, have been done from my garden. Ok, but let’s move on to our cleaning.

My new plan, after cleaning, is to first: sort out all clothes as I said before, get rid of the ones we don’t use anymore and keep the ones we are using organised in the wardrobes. After that, I am going to go room by room, as much as time will allow me and throw out everything from all cupboards, drawers, etc. Clean them in and out, sweep and mop the floors under them and reorganise everything in them. Hopefully, by the end of August, I will manage to do so. Just bit by bit, without any stress, just to get all things done.

Due to the same circumstances, my YouTube channel has been on hold also. I haven’t prepared even one video. But as with all situations with my son’s paperwork has been sorted, I am planning to get a video done by tomorrow evening, we’ll see how it will go. And going forward, keep making three videos a week, every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

Regarding this blog, I hope to manage writing one post a day, as it was planned. For some time there will be mostly updates on the progress of my goals, but I am planning to add some new categories (or series? however they are called). At the moment I am thinking about writing about things I’ve learnt about self-development, maybe reviews or summaries of self-development books? We’ll see how it goes when my place will be a bit more sorted and hopefully, I will get some time freed.

But for today’s post, it’s all I wanted to share. I hope that you’ve enjoyed reading it and my sharing my struggles and attempts to overcome them will motivate at least one person to do the same. But for now, I wish you a very productive day and I’ll see you in my next post.


Let’s handle our goals: cleaning and home organizing.

Hi guys,

Today, I am going to break my home deep cleaning and organizing home goals into a manageable plan. I have been struggling with keeping my home in order. There are always certain areas of my home which are always cluttered, a lot of my family’s belongings do not have their space and we live in chaos sometimes. Also, I haven’t got the time to deep clean my home either. I mean like move furniture and clean behind them and so on, so this is going to be my goal now. I am going to divide my space into categories (first I wanted to go with rooms, but except kitchen and bathroom it wouldn’t work). My first category to tackle is clothes.

As a family, we have an overwhelming amount of them everywhere. We still kept my son’s clothes since he was small, I have a lot of things that don’t fit anymore. So looking for anyone’s outfit is a nightmare. I also have an overwhelming amount of laundry to do and as good weather started, it is an amazing time to catch up with it.

Here is my plan: first throw everything out of the wardrobes and sort them into three categories: wearing them, donating and throwing away or recycling. All of these three categories have to be dealt with right away too. Things that we are going to wear go back to our wardrobe, the ones that are being donated, have to be taken asap and recycled/thrown away have to go to the bin or art and craft container.

And while all clothes will be out of the wardrobes, I would like to hover and mop behind them too.

And this is it for today’s post. Very short, and to the point plan. I hope I will be able to manage all my clothes disaster till the end of next week but for now I wish you a very productive day and I’ll see you in my next post.


Let the change begin!

Hi guys,

In today’s post, I would like to prepare a plan. As you might know from yesterday’s post, I’ve decided to make another attempt on changing my life. We already established that my priority is my son, so I am not going to include him in my plans, as looking after him comes to me naturally. No matter how much I have to do, I spend as much time as I can.

Since yesterday, when I finally realised what my problem was (or at least I think I realised), I have been thinking about my next priorities. I had some requirements, though. First of all, they had to be either relatively small, or possible divided into small tasks. Second of all, they had to be measurable. So I would be able to judge, whether I am on a good track, or I am not moving toward them. And last, but not least, they have to help me change my environment for the better, make it easier for me to stay more organised, help me feel better, or teach me something. All this narrowed them down to following goals:

Organise and deep clean my flat

This is kind of simple. Having a place, where everything has its place, where I don’t have to look for things every time I want to go out or when I need to do something, will save me a lot of time and as a result, will give more time for things that matter. It will also reduce my everyday stress level, by not having to look for random stuff whenever I want to leave my home.

Keep up with this blog

“Wait!”, you might say. “In which universe does this goal meet your requirements?”. And the answer is very simple. First of all, it is going to help me work on my routine. My next goal (after achieving the ones that I am listing today), will be to get some income working from home. I have no idea yet, what kind of work I want to do, however, I will have to be able to keep getting the job done. Having to post every day, is going to help me organise my day in such a way, that I have to find some time to be able to write my posts, and publish them. And after all, this blog is supposed to reflect my journey to becoming a better, more organised person, it will be a great way to come back to it, whenever times will get rough again.

Keep up with my YouTube channel

This goal is also helping me with getting ready to work from home, but it is also an outlet for me to let my creativity do its work. It also forces me to learn drawing and video editing, which are on my ‘I always wanted to be able to do it’ list. But, what is more important to me, it helps me with speaking English.

Learn programming

This one is a bit lower in priorities at the moment, but programming is a skill that gives a lot of opportunities to earn money from home, either as a freelancer or employee. So at the moment, whenever I have some time on hand, I am going to try to learn as much as I can. As my previous goals will become a part of my routine (hopefully), I should be able to make it an everyday thing.

And these are all of the goals I am about to start working on at the moment. They might change with time, but at least I have something to start with.

And that’s all I wanted to share today. I wish you a productive day and I’ll see you in my next post.


Starting over?

Hi guys,

Recently, I have been wondering whether I should keep this blog or let it go. Especially since my hosting was about to expire (I think that it has been expired for a while). When I started writing posts, in the beginning daily, after some time I was posting less, than again daily. I’ve tried to keep this blog as my motivation for everyone (especially myself) to help them find strength when there is no willpower to achieve their goals. However, I’ve been failing every time. I’ve set very high expectations and I haven’t achieved even the bare minimum.

So this is where my process of questioning the point of having this blog started. To be honest, process of questioning my entire life. I couldn’t keep up with anything, let alone this blog. My place on the internet, where I was supposed to be coming back in the future when times will get rough. As you might know from one of the last posts I’ve published, at the beginning of this year my dad passed away. It was so unexpected that we could not believe that, even seeing him for the last time after hearing the worst news the one can get about their loved ones. This was the hardest thing I had to go through so far. I was not capable to function. Bare minimum became my normal for a long time. And bare minimum means taking care of my son while my husband was at work. As soon as he got home, I was locking myself in a room and kept crying. I felt like I will never be able to move on after this. Although, it is better, I don’t think my life will ever be the same.

During that time, I visited my blog to find my motivation. And reading posts of younger me being excited and determined to change her life for a better and more productive one was kind of frustrating. If I could, I would ask this young girl, what was the point if nothing changed since then. I knew, that all attempts to being more organised and not having a to-do list full of tasks to be moved over and over to the next day. It was making me more and more depressed.

But as I was reading all these posts I came over to the one, where I announced that my son was born. I’ve written it just a few hours after he was in this world, waiting to be able to see him for the first time, wondering how does he look like. The only thing I knew at that time, was that he is stable in the NICU, that he had some problems with breathing, but now it’s much better. And I was just waiting, asking everyone who was going there to take a picture of this only baby that mattered to me at that moment. And this one post changed everything. Of course, a change took a while, but this was when I’ve started realising what this blog gave me.

I kept a record here of all my failures, but also a record of this girl, who got up each time to try something else, and adjust. These posts here are about a mother, who tried to figure out simple things about her child, how to keep home clean when there is a whole new person to look after and a full-time job to go to. A mother, who failed in everything, but kept her child safe but most of all loved. And that’s what made me understand what the mistake of the younger me was. It wasn’t motivation that I was lacking, but priorities. As soon as my son was born, he became my most important task. Many times I had no energy to eat or take shower, but he was always fed, cleaned and as happy as a baby can be. He was my motivation and he still is. I understood that this younger me, got something right, what present me couldn’t. Priorities. I was being selfish, locked out from the world, while my bigger motivation has been playing with his dad in the other room. My brothers and I were the biggest motivation for my dad and he used to do everything he could to help us, and teach us as much as he could and I was about to take this possibility from my son.

So I am starting over. My life, as a person who doesn’t give up. As a person, who may fail over and over again, but at least has her priorities right, no matter what. And I am starting over (or rather keep continuing) this blog. The goal is to post every single day, but this time I can just say that I am going to do my best. Life is life, no one said it will be easy. Especially now, I need to pick myself up, as my son has been diagnosed with autism and there is a lot of work in front of us. And I know, that there are going to be a lot of days when I will feel overwhelmed, but I need to keep going. For my own sanity and my son’s future.

I’ve written this post to be my reminder. As I said earlier, with my son’s diagnosis, life is going to be hard at times. Without my dad being my support, I need to become able to get up and fight, no matter what obstacles and how hard my life is going to get. After all, my son is the greatest joy of my life and there is no hardship I wouldn’t go for him.

So this would be it for my today’s rumbling about everything and nothing, but I’ll see you in my next post, hopefully tomorrow.