Living in a world of high expectation

Hi guys,

Today’s post will be a bit different than the usual ones. I won’t share any tips, any deep thoughts. But I will complain a bit instead. It is going to be kind of weird, as the only thing I can complain about is myself. So let me introduce the story.

As probably most of the world does, you might be forced to self isolate yourself. This is our reality, we are trying to fight the pandemic which flooded the entire world in just couple of months. It might have sounded amazing on the beginning (I mean staying at home, not pandemic itself). You know, this time you are going to spend with your family, this projects you’ve never had time before to work on or just simple sitting on the couch and watching tv. Now you were about to take some time off or start working from home and who said you can’t watch tv while working?

Everything sounds perfect (except all the bad things happening outside, especially growing numbers of new cases and people who actually didn’t make it, but this is a different topic). But after some time, you might have realised, that nothing changed. You got this extra hours (even if you are still working from home, you don’t waste any time for commuting), but nothing changed at all. There is still no time to start this project, watching tv isn’t as relaxing as it sounded before and you might have even started to miss your work place.

If you have been reading my posts for a while, you might have noticed that I have never enough time. That my to do list is getting bigger and bigger, just because I keep adding to it without getting anything or just a bit done. I am getting too tired to do anything after working a night shift. I am trying to spend as much time with my son as I possibly can. But still my other things are being left behind.

My company used to be closed for over six weeks. I had tons of spare time. But my to do list have reached a world record for the biggest amount of task on it. I just couldn’t set myself to work.

Today I’ve started wondering, what’s happened? What am I doing with all this time given to me for free? And finally, why do I feel so tired, when I do almost nothing?

And I came to some conclusions. Or more likely I can see some possible options. But the most likely one is I can’t force myself to do anything, if I don’t have any expectations set upon me.

Normally, we live in a world where there are expectations regarding all aspects of our life you could possibly think of. What kind of worker you are, how does your household look like, what kind of a husband/wife, child, parent you are? These are just some of the aspects and no matter what you do, there will be someone who will try to prove that you are doing it wrong.

There are also different kind of expectations, which are even harder to live with. The ones which you set yourself. These are more harder, as every time if you’ll do “not well enough”, you’ll not have to wait for anyone to point it. This person will be already there. Just because it will be this part of you, which is never happy with your work. This voice in your head saying that you should have spent more time and your results would be much, much better.

So let me talk about these last expectations for a while. Before my son was born, I planned to keep my home spotless, so he can grow in the best environment I can provide for him at the time. And although my home is never a complete mess, it isn’t spotless either. There are the days, where there is sink full of pilling up dishes, clothes to wash already doubling size of my washing basket. There are a days, when I can’t get myself to iron (you would probably get scared after visiting spare room in my home). Or when the trash bin is asking me to take it out.

The image of me having a baby made me feel like I have to find a good night shift job, so we can provide for our son’s decent life. I was sure I will manage it easily. I was sure I will be a bit tired, but will manage it till my son will go to the school or till I will manage to figure out getting some kind of business going on from my home (which I haven’t even started to think about so far). I was sure and I was wrong at the same time.

Although it was obvious, I haven’t realised that as my son will be born, things won’t change for better. Of course, my son is the best person coming to my life, but he is also the most demanding one. Since he was born, I forgot what does spare time mean. I have no idea what detailed planning is, as the best I am able to do now is to have plans like: “during his nap time, I will…” or “while he plays with his toys, I will…” There isn’t any particular time. All my life has been sacrificed for this little human being (well, sacrificed isn’t the best word, but he became my reason to do everything I am doing, no matter how hard it gets). But this is not the problem itself. As I said, my son is the brightest sunshine in my life, I wouldn’t change this for anything else. There is only one problem. Expectations. Expectations set by other people, which I can always ignore (although, not always I can manage it quickly). Expectations set by my son, regarding our routine (which I am glad to have). And finally, the hardest ones, expectations set by myself.

Since I have realised that, I’ve decided to stop expect anything from myself. I can’t do anything about other people’s expectations, but I can stop myself from doing it. I will still make my plans and to do lists, but I’m going to look at them like they were some kind of guide, not my duty.

There will be sink full of dishes left overnight? That’s fine. Never ending pile of ironing? Amazing! Well, not so amazing, as eventually I will have to do them, but still ok. But what is more important, I will not let to define myself by the amount of chores I am doing each day or amount of tasks I am getting ticked out of my to do list. How is it going to go? I will definitely share it with you after some time, as I see any change (either for better or for worse).

But for now I am going to end this post. I hope you enjoyed reading it and if you have any thoughts or advises regarding expectations, you are very welcome to share them in the comment section. For now, I wish you a very productive day (without any expectations, though) and I’ll see you in my next post.

Daria

How to work at home and don’t get insane – 10 tips

Hi guys,

Today is a kind of delayed post. Everything what’s going on at the moment all around the world can be very depressing. A lot of us are in self-quarantine, trying to stay sane. Some of us are supposed to work from their home, very often juggling their private life like looking after children, home and all this everyday’s things we used to do after we returned from work.

I won’t lie, this situation got on me a bit. After spending couple of weeks at home, while my employer was working to provide save environment for us to work, we returned to our workplace, having huge amount of work. By the time we got used to, we found out that company is closing and successively there will be stuff reduction going on. Also not being able to meet our friends and family is harsh too.

However, for all of us life is still going on. Being advised (or even forced) to stay at home, we have tree options I can think of. First, is to break the rules and put yourself and possibly many others into the risk. Second, is to stay at home and cry over your situation (I have to admit, I was doing so for the last weeks, since my company closed – not literally crying, of couese). Or third, which seems the most sensible to me at the moment, is to try and make the best of the time we have at home.

The last option has a lot of advantages too. Let’s try and think about our life, before all this started. In my case, it was constant running. Juggling working full-time job, looking after my son and trying to keep my home relatively clean. Just a bit of sleeping and the whole circle kept starting all over again. There were a lot of projects I wanted to work on (I did actually, but not as much as I would like to), if I only had more time. And guess what? Now most of us have a lot of free time! And a lot of us need something to take our minds off of the situation in the world. So why not to use this time to do as many things from our when-I’ll-have-time to do list? And before you’ll say anything, just admit to yourself that even if your list is not written anywhere, it does exist in your mind. Whether you wanted to learn something new, start your business, write a book, make your own game… When will be better time for it? As soon as world will return to norm, even on your days of from work you’ll have a lot of errands to run, friends to meet, appointments to attend… Most likely you don’t have any of this now. And even, if you have somewhere to go, there is much less places you have to be, and more time to use for all the things on your list.

So after such a long introduction, let me get into 10 tips on working at home. All of them are a result of my research, millions of YouTube videos I’ve watched and tons of blog post I’ve read. I think I could easily write a post with many more tips than 10, but I’ve decided to include just those, which I implemented myself and had worked foe me. Please keep in mind that not necessary all of them are going to work for you too. Let’s get right into the tips:

1. Get up early

I know, it seems weird. You don’t have to go anywhere, no more rushing to work or school and still you need to get up early? Ok, let me explain, what I mean by early. So ideally, it would be similar time, as you would normally. So let’s say you get up at 7 to get to work at 8? Try to put your alarm at 8 instead. You’ll get an extra hour of sleep and at the same time, you won’t sleep the entire day. But key word in this tip is to get up early, not just wake up. I find it difficult to roll out of my bed as soon as I wake up. I would be able to stay there even, if I no longer asleep. Getting up and making your bed as soon as your are out of it, will set you into productive day. The other advantage of this tip is that when it will be all over, it will be easier for you to adjust to the old routine, when you will finally return to work.

2. Stick to your old routine

Try to remind yourself, what were you doing when you used to leave to work every morning. Probably you showered, eaten some breakfast, or simply got dressed. What ever it was, you should keep doing it. It can bring a lot of benefits not only for the time when you are staying at home, but also for when you are returning to work. You will have less trouble adjusting, when the long waited time is going to come and there will be no sing of virus left. On the other hand, now you will feel more productive, just because your brain will feel, that everything seems to be normal, no changes.

3. Set up your office

This might be easy for those of you, who have a spare room at home as it can become your temporary office. You could even leave it as an office for good, if you only wish. But, if you are like me, where there isn’t any spare place or room, try and designate just small office area. In my case it is a small table I ordered recently and I did put it my living room. I can easily fold it, if I need some extra space to play with my son, but anytime I need it, I have my office corner in no time. The only thing you try to avoid is to work from your bed (if there is no other choice, because you rent a box room for example, bed should do, but it will make it a bit harder, as it will be very tempting to just take a nap insead of doing a job).

Having this designated space, will help you to set your mind into the working mode. As you will be physically commuting into the work place. You would also have some space, where your work stuff like computer or folders could wait to be used, without the necessity of looking for them each time when you want to work.

4. Get your kids entertained

This point requires you to be creative too. Everything depends here on your children’s age. My son is 13 months now, so I work when he has his nap or when he is surrounded with his toys and I know that as long as I’ll stay in same room, he will take at least an hour to go through all of them and get bored. I started implementing these techniques since one week (as I said, all this got me a bit depressed) and on last Friday we got a message that we are returning to work (I am considered a key worker, as bakery provides food). So tonight will be my third night at work, and this first two days still went pretty well. To get a bit more time I extended my son’s screen time from 30 minutes a day to 1 hour a day (not at one time of course) and I am using early mornings to have a bit of a sleep, and similar my son’s nap time became my nap time too.

5. Keep your home clean.

This might seem obvious, but at the same time it is so tempting to skip dusting couple of times in a row. Especially, if you are pretty much sure that there will be no unexpected visit of your friends or family. However, it is very important, that you keep your home relatively clean at least. It will keep you motivated, as who does not know this feeling that you have to clean now, even of you have so much work to do?

6. Prepare your action plan the day before.

This is the important one too. I am not sure if there is any worse thing to do than sit, ready to work. Believing that you are going to do so much, but… as you sit you realise that you have no idea what to do. This is another one known probably by most of us. But what an action plan really is? If we have our to-do list we should be fine, shouldn’t we? Well, not always. There might be days, when you sit at your desk (or wherever you have to accomplish your task) and you start thinking: ‘Where is my notebook? I need it to start..’ And you are getting up to pick it up from the shelf on the other side of the room. Back by the desk and wondering where did you leave your favourite pen, after laptop, you have no charger, this and that…

You were ready to start your work long time ago, but you already wasted so much time and effort that you actually got a bit hungry. Some snack will definitively set you up for work. Yeah, but these salty crisps, you’ve just eaten, made you a bit thirsty…

I think you know where it all is going. Preparing an action plan is to going through your to-do list and making all tasks on it as easy to start as possible. You could prepare some stacks of things, you will need to accomplish all of the things from your list and after just grabbing them as your tasks are being completed. This way, you reduce some of the excuses to not to start actual work.

7. Take breaks as you would in a regular job.

This is something what a lot of us keep forgetting. When you’ll finally manage to start your work, it might make you lose sense of time. However, as longer you work without break, as less efficient you’ll become. It is even more important, if your work includes sitting by the desk by the screen. It is very important to give some break to your eyes and to stretch your muscles.

Nowadays, there are a lot of tools which can be very helpful in this case. You can download any of the pomodoro apps, where you can set up for how long you intend to work and how long you want your break to be. Your phone will let you know with the alarm, when it is time to stop work or to return to it.

8. Write reasons why are you doing this and hang it in visible place.

To be honest, this one seemed a bit useless to me at first. Why shall I waste my time for writing things I already know? But if you’ll look at this realistically, there will be many tasks which will seem a bit overwhelming. Or you’ll just get stuck in so called dead point, where you just can’t carry on, because you have no idea how to solve the problem you came across. All this might make you give up and keep procrastinating again. If you’ll have all the reasons why do you want to complete particular tasks, you will be more likely to stay motivated and continue.

9. Spare one day a week to precook for the next days.

This saved my life a lot. I used to thing about type of meal I want to cook since the time I woke up. Even when I was doing other things, my mind kept going away to this topic. Having some prepared meals in your freezer or fridge (depends on for how many days you prepared your food) will take your mind off of this topic and help you focus on the things you have to do.

10. Have any kind of physical activity every day.

This advice is very important especially for people, who’s work does not require them to work. Having some physical activity, especially in the morning will give you great kick of energy for the day (I know it seems impossible, as exercising makes you tired, but since I’ve started doing at least mild exercise like going for a walk with my son, made me a lot more productive).

This way we went through all of ten tips. I hope they will be useful for you and help you achieve your goals and get on the top of your to do list as soon as it is possible.

That’s everything what I’ve prepared for today’s post, I hope you enjoyed it. If you have any other advises or tips on working from home, you are very welcome to share it in the comment section below.

For now I wish you very productive day and I’ll see you in my next post.

Daria

Planning’s traps

Hi guys,

Today I would like to talk about quite important thing to me. As you might have realised already, I plan my year, month, week and each day. I keep my bullet journal for that purpose. And although I admire my system, I can see some potential traps connected to it too. I have fallen into most of them myself, some stopped me from getting my things done at all for a while. So I’ve decided to share all of them with you in this post.

Just before I’ll start, I would like to note that all this isn’t to scare you, but to make you aware, so if you’ll become a victim of any of them, hopefully you’ll take an action as soon as possible.

Let’s move into the traps:

Overloading your TO DO lists

This is quite common. You’ve probably heard about it millions times already. But this is a big one. We tend to overestimate how long each task is going to take us. This is going to happen quite often, especially when you are just starting your adventure with planning and scheduling. However, even if you are a pro, master of planning and creating your schedules, there might be a time, when something out of your control will cross your plan. Let’s say you need an internet connection to complete most of your tasks and during the most busy day, you won’t be able to connect. Or there will be some other emergency, like broken pipe or anything else. You might find yourself in the situation, when at the end of the day you look at your TO DO list and there is nothing to be ticked.

I am usually very disappointed and unmotivated. I completely lose any will to carry on for a couple of days. Especially, if tasks from the previous days have to be done any way and adding them to the next day, where everything seems to be packed up and ends up carried on to the next day, where there are again tons of things to do… I think you get the point. It might get you on the loop, where each iteration leaves you with more and more to do every next day.

If you want to avoid it, you can do one of the two things. First is to simply plan as much, as you can handle each day, with leaving some time for emergencies. But if it is not possible for some reason, you might try to assign one day a week (or month), when you are not planning anything. Just keep getting any pending tasks, to clear your TO DO list before the next planning session. This way you’ll create an escape from loop mentioned before.

Forgetting to update your plan

If you are anything like me, you might find yourself in the situation, when new things keep coming up at any time of the day. I tend to forget to put it into my schedule and… simply forget about it after less than 10 minutes. Although, it doesn’t sound like very serious thing, you might realise that you work very hard, but there are a lot of things just dropping out of your hands.

Solution to that is very simple and a hard at the same time. You just have to make an habit of adding all this incoming tasks into your plan right away. It is so easy, but everyone who tried to make a new habit will tell you, how hard job it is.

Not achieving your goals

All plans should lead to some bigger goal. However, sometimes you might work a lot on something and not be able to see any results. This might leave you very disappointed. Seeing all the time you’ve spend, might make you think that there is no point. Only thing you need to remember is that some stuff are just taking more time than the other. But if you’ll still think that you’ve just wasted your time, it might be a sign that either the way you’re working is wrong, or the entire goal is just not for you. This might be analysed and you should be given an answer.

These are all traps I wanted to share with you today. I hope they were helpful. I wish you a very productive day and I’ll see you in my next post.

Daria

Designing your dream life

Hi guys,

Today I would like to talk about something what is very important, yet mostly forgotten. I want to talk about dream life. All of us have some idea, how they would their life to look like. What they would like to do for a living, or not to have to work any more and have time for their passion.

Personally, I wish that one day I will own my property, not to be forced to move as often as I do now. I want to have a passive income on such level which allows me to pay all property related things and live decently.

Although, these seem like financial goals, they are just my way to achieve an alternative goal, which is to be able to spend as much time with my family as I want. I want to be able to visit my mum in Poland without begging for holiday first.

All this stuff require me to build my passive income such a way, that I will be able to receive a bit more money each month, than my regular spending. This would give me an opportunity to live my life with enough time for things that really matter: family and memories for my family.

This is my dream life and I am sure that most (if not all) of us would like to be in a place which is different than the current one. Maybe it is being a debt free, or being able to travel freely. Maybe just like me you want to simply have time for your family, without facing the fear of losing roof over your head.

Whatever it is, you might be in a place where I used to be. Thinking that it is what it is and you have to take it. That there is no point to try, as it isn’t going to change anyway.

Well, I have a good and a bad news for you. All in one. Let me quote:

Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right

Henry Ford

You have much more control over your life and, what’s more important, over your mindset. You can sit and keep taking everything as it is (and it is completely fine, if you chose so) or you can become more proactive and start changing your life bit by bit.

Let me be honest, before I’ll share my tips to design a dream life. Not everything is going to work plus it might turn out that your dream life isn’t as dreamed as you might think now. At the same time, it is important not to give up. Otherwise how are you going to judge, if you’ll never get there? And what is very important, the journey is what matters.

But let’s get to my tips (or steps) of designing a dream life:

Step 1: Analyse

This should be done even before you start thinking about designing your dream life, it might be a good idea to analyse your current situation. My way to do it is to write all this things that I like in my life on the one site of a paper and everything what I want to change on the other site. You can include everything, what you want. In my case some of the good things will be my family, the fact that we can afford to pay for roof over our head, that we have food on our plates, etc. Small things that I like, let me see, that my life is not a nightmare. Thinks I would change, is to move to our own property, to have a passive income, to spend more time with my son, etc.

As soon as I have these two list, I start asking “why” questions to things to change. For example, why do I want to move to our own property? Because I don’t want to keep moving. Why don’t you want to keep moving? I don’t want to have my son to change his school because of that. Why? It would take a sense of belonging out from his life. Why? Because his surrounding would be changing all the time?

As answers start being about one thing, or I simply don’t have any more of them I move to the next one. And all this till I’ll get definite answers for all of the things on this list.

That time I am going back to the other list and check if there are answers connected to things from it. As more I have, as more sure I am to be on the right path. And then, I move to the next step.

Step 2: Action plan and action itself

This is where all the hard work starts. You just need to pick up one of the things from your things to change list and write as many options or ways to change it as you could. But don’t get caught in a ‘there is no way to change it’ mindset. Let’s say you have picked to have a passive income one. You could create a digital product, you could write a book, or invest. For simplicity we have these three options only (in your it is good to include more in your action plan). You can go through everything you came up with and pick one of them again. If you’d have an cash laying around (except your emergency funds), you could chose investments, but there might be some risks connected to it. And let’s be honest, probably not many of us have money to invest. So you might decide to write a book. Think what your book could be about. Will it be a fiction, or non fiction book? Prepare an outline and start working on it in your spare time.

And here there are two things that can happen when you finish: you’ll either succeed or fail. In the first scenario, you need to decide whether you are happy with level of income you are getting? Will it decrease over a time? Are you fine with that? If no (or you failed), pick another option ( like creating your digital product) and start all over again. Just remember to learn from mistakes you could have made on your way. If yes, pick another thing from things to change list and repeat step 2.

All this might seem easy, but it is hard in fact. Changes are rarely happening within a days or even weeks. They are more likely to take a lot of time. But this is what it takes. Hard work, to get where you want to be or at least as close to that place as possible.

That’s all for today’s post. I would like to hear from you, what changes would you like to do in your life? Or maybe you are already living your dream life? Share it in a comment section below. I’ll be happy to read it.

For now I wish you a very productive day and I’ll see you in my next post.

Daria

How do I plan?

Hi guys,
Today I would like to explain how do I plan. Probably all of us have so many things going on. I keep finding myself in situations, when I have so many things to do, so I have no idea where shall I start. Everything seems to be urgent, all the time household chores are pilling up (especially clothes to wash and iron; add to this a sink full of dirty dishes – where are they coming from? – and you could possibly spend all day doing just this).
To try to stay on top of all my things, never ending to-do lists and new things to do continuously coming up, I needed a great planning system. As you might have read in one of my old posts, I am using a bullet journal. I used to use nozbe, which worked great for me, but unfortunately, I kept forgetting to charge my phone and there were a moments, when I needed to write very important event or appointment and my phone just died.
So I came back to using a bullet journal again. If you haven’t heard about bullet journal before, it is a customizable planner (basically notebook, where you can include any spread you can think of – but you are setting it up by yourself), which allows you to assign how much space for each month, week, day as you need. There is an original system designed by Carroll Ryder (you can watch how it works by clicking on creator’s name).
I use my bullet journal slightly different, because I found out that I can get more things done when I plan it in kind of funnel way. So let me explain three stages of my planning.
First stage: long term planning
I make long term goals approx. every  9 to 6 months. In this stage I include all goals, projects, appointments, etc. which are going to happen any time from now to up to 12 months. I simply create a future log (you can see it in almost every bullet journal set up video). It allows me to write all deadlines, events, appointments, which are meant to happen later in the future. I also include my long term goals, divided into smaller steps (it will be helpful in my next stage). And having all this written down, I don’t have to worry about them at the moment and I am ready to move to my next stage.
Second stage: monthly planning
As you can tell by the name, this planning happens every month. That time I have a calendar for that month, where I add all events and deadlines from my future log plus anything what comes up mean while. I also make use of my goals divided into steps in the previous stage, as I am including these steps as a goals in my monthly goals spread. I also divide them for smaller steps to make it easier to work on them during the month (just small tasks I can handle during one working session). At this point, I have my weekly spreads already set, so I assign each of these steps into a particular week. This allows me to visualise how much stuff I am able to achieve each month and see what will be left in any given project.
Third stage: weekly/daily planning
This is the last stage of my planning. At the end of the week, I assign tasks for each day in the following week. After that, every day I revise what have been done, keep adding any tasks which could appear mean time. Any task which wasn’t done at planned day is being migrated to the next day or if there are a lot of tasks waiting to be done, for any other loose day.
Also, there are a lot of other stuff, which I include in my bullet journal, like finance tracker, budget planner, savings log, sleep tracker, mood tracker, etc. All this is giving me great insight into my life and helps me to implement any adjustments, whenever I notice that something doesn’t go well.
This is all for today’s post. If you have your way of planning, I will be glad to read it in a comment section. For now I wish you a very productive day and I’ll see you in my next post.
Daria

Don’t expect different results, when you keep doing same things all over again

Hi guys,

Today I would like to talk about an aspect known probably by most of us. Either we are guilty of doing it or at least we know someone, who’s description I am going to present to you now.

Imagine the person, who says: “I would like to change my job, but there is no other job for me”. When asked: “Have you try to apply anywhere else?”.
“Yes, I did. But I haven’t got any response.”
“Have you thought why?”
“They all were requiring certain skills, which I don’t have. But I will keep trying to apply.”
“Have you done anything to get those skills?”
“No, but I will keep applying till I will get my dream job”.
This was just example. Person, who tries to get something, knows why he is not getting it, knows, what he should do to change it, but does nothing. Just keeps doing same, not working things, hoping that next time results will be different.
He might be lucky and that might be the case, but as he keeps trying with no desired results, chances for that are very low.
Any way, the person feels that he is doing his best. He keeps thinking that everything will change one day, even if he is making same mistakes all over again (in this made up story, he doesn’t get skills necessary for his dreamed job).
Although this isn’t a real story, I think all (or at least most) of us were in that place at least once. I like to call this kind of situation as ‘one day I will…’ time. After these three dots you can put whatever you want: one day I will get new job, start my business, travel, spend more time with my family, get skills I’ve always dreamed of and many more. Possibilities are endless, as many people as many cases (and also there are some, including myself, who could think about a lot of things to include in this statement). You know, this ‘I need to get my life together. One day I will…’
The only problem is that our life is passing by, it will not stop and take a break, just because we want it to. We also tend to forget that changes take time. We can change our attitude right away, but to see results of these changes, usually takes some time. It is very important thing to realise our power and believe in our ability to change the situation we are in.
Especially, that our actions might not work and we need to look for some other ways to make changes. If we will not give ourselves a chance to make a mistake, who else will?
So today, I have a challenge for each of you: think about your perfect life and decide what is your first step to get there. And most important: take this step, no matter how bouncy and hard this road seems to be.
That’s it for today’s post. I wish you a very productive day and I’ll see you in my next post.
Daria

How do I work with small baby at home?

Hi guys,
Today I would like to talk about a topic, which you can find a lot of questions about everywhere in the internet. There are a lot of people sharing their way of working with small baby at home, how they can to fit these two full time jobs (yes, having a baby is a full time job too, with no holiday or sick days). Answer is very simple: prioritize and make sure you are getting your stuff done whenever you can. Get as organised as you possibly cab.
I used to watch a lot of youtubers explaining how do they manage to work full time, while looking after baby or babies. They usually mention a lot of ways to make things they are doing last for as long as possible, like cook for three days, do light cleaning (like dusting, picking up stuff, etc) every day, and leave proper cleaning for one day a week. There are also advises to work while your children are asleep or busy with themselves (most of cases are for youtubers who work at home) and many more. However, the most common advice, repeating in almost every video I saw, was to use help of your family, like parents, cousins, etc.
Well, definitely great advise, there is only one problem in my case: both me and my husband are immigrants in London. My family lives in Poland, so it is a bit far for them to pop up whenever I need. My husband is from India, you can guess they might find it even more difficult to come.

So me and my husband had to manage on our own. And I must say, that our way is not perfect yet, even for us. But we are slowly but surely getting there. So let me tell you how do I work at home, after full time night shift job, while looking after baby at the same time.
First thing, is that we are trying to set our routine, which we are still working on. It is not perfect (I would say, there is still more to do, than it has been done already), but slowly, changing one thing at the time in our’s son’s life, we keep making it work well for us. I can’t say, there aren’t any obstacles on the way. When we wanted to move his sleeping time just for one hour earlier, we ended up with the little guy not sleeping during the nights at all for aprox. a week. But he is getting used to the new things. Also, he is ten months old now, so he likes to play on his own for a bit longer than he used to (usually no longer than half an hour and I need to sit not too far to make sure he won’t have any dangerous ideas), so this is the time I am using to plan my work day. After that I play with my son, take him for a walk, feed him again, change his nappy and it is nap time for him. It usually lasts for at least one hour, up to two. After he wakes up, I feed and change him again and spend some more time with him (yes, my life consists mostly of changing nappies 😉 ), before I need to leave to work. My husband is back from his work around half an hour before I need to leave, so this is time when he takes over looking after the little one while I am getting ready to leave.
Also, there are these moments when my son just sits on my laps and keeps falling asleep or play with my clothes or some toys. That time I am trying to do as much as I can too (although I can’t call it the most productive time of my day).
What about my chores? How does my home look like? Well, it is not as bad. Me and my husband share responsibility of keeping home clean. We do whatever it needs to be done. We have also some hacks, to make the process easier. For example, we cook more than we are able to eat and freeze the left overs, we do washing, when pile gets really big, this way we make sure that the washing machine isn’t running half empty. And we take turns in cleaning all the areas in home such a way, that each of us has just a small area to clean each day (let’s be honest here, except bathroom, kitchen and keeping floors clean on a daily basis, there is not such a thing like everything has to be clean every day). For some it might sound a bit weird and gross. But this is how it is. You can’t eat a cookie and have a cookie at the same time. You must give up on something, to be able to do something else. I can’t resign from my full time job just yet, as our finances would look horrible; I don’t want to sacrifice time for my son; the only thing left is home. It will not be spotless for some time, but it isn’t dirty either. So we can manage it 😉
And that’s it for today’s post. I hope that you enjoyed reading it. If you have some advices, please share them in the comment section below, I will be glad to read all of them. I wish you a very productive day and I’ll see you in my next post.
Daria

2020 as a year of setting up good habits

Hi guys,

Today I would like to talk about setting New Year’s goals in general. What is the purpose of making this unofficial agreement with yourself? Why on the beginning of year, not at any time?

For this second question answer is very simple. With each year starting, there are a lot of people everywhere (literally everywhere) reflecting on their achievements, failures and events happening the year before. They are getting excited for things they want to achieve in the upcoming year. This kind of remind us that “hey, we’ve made these resolutions a year ago, let’s see how much did we manage to actually do”. They could have been made at any time in a year, but let’s be honest. Who is actually checking progress of our actions just like that? Or maybe I am the only one who needs New Year to make sure that goals will be at least reviewed?

And with the purpose of setting goals at all, there is a more complex thing to think about. I’ve came across two opinions. First stated that setting these goals actually motivate you to take an action. Second, that focusing on your goals, writing them down and seeing list of your commitments works quite opposite. For me both of above are correct to some extend. Although, I am setting goals each year, not always I am actually achieving them. But I think I found a solution.

First of all, I am not dreaming about my goals. My list works for me as a reminder and guide. Each goal has also a working plan, where it is divided into smaller parts and steps to achieve each of these parts. And finally, I am scheduling goals related task into my to do lists on weekly basis (as I plan in weekly intervals). After some time I will share with you my process of planning.

This way, my goals are not just a nice bullets in my planner. Kind of “one day” things. They are actual tasks, scheduled to work on. Like immediately. Not one day. Making sure that each week, there are some at least small steps being made towards achieving them.

And that’s it for today’s post. I wish you a very productive day and I’ll see you in my next post.

Daria

Set up a routine which works for everyone at home and stick to it

Hi guys,

Today I will talk about last of my 2020 resolutions. As you could see in this post, I have decided to focus on some things which are very important to me at the moment. It might seem that I went easy on myself this year (and this is most likely true), but I wanted to set goals, which will be possible to achieve. A lot of them (if not all in some way) are connected to my financial situation, as this is the biggest problem at the moment. Although, I know that there are a lot of people in much worse situation, I am also aware that in case of any emergency, we will struggle to get back on our feet, if we will not fix it as soon as possible.

This is one of the reasons why we need to set up a routine. Having me and my husband working full time is helping us to keep paying our debt relatively quickly. But it also makes it very hard to manage. We were advised to employ someone to look after our son while we are in work. But I can’t trust any stranger to look after such small baby, especially that even if something would go wrong, he wouldn’t be able to tell us. This forced us to work in different shifts and as I can’t imagine being all day away from my son, I’ve chosen night shift (night shifts are hard too, but at least when I am working, little guy is sleeping most of the time).

There are some small things I would like to achieve in our family life, even though me and my husband are working on different shifts. I wish to be able to spend as much quality time with my son as it is possible, I would like to spend time with my husband and make sure that both of us can have time for ourselves (whether it is for working on personal projects or just relaxing). I want to make sure that our home is clean and that there is always food in our fridge too. It might seem impossible, especially with a small child. Some of you might think that I am neglecting my son just because I am working full time and I, dreaming about free time, might seem like a horrible mother. But I am a true believer that sacrificing all your dreams and goals for a baby will not do well for you and at the end for your child. Also, I think that being able to get an extra income is good for my son too. Hopefully, very soon will be able to put some funds aside for his future, we’ll be able to buy a home, so wherever life is going to take my son, he’ll always have a place to come and forget about all his problem. And finally, we’ll be able to provide for his development, give him opportunities to find his way, by simply being able to afford things, he wants to try.

Kids are very amazing and they learn unbelievably fast. But at the same time, they are not reading books or taking various courses secretly. They are learning by watching their surrounding. Especially in the beginning of their lives, we, as a parents, are all their world. I want to create believe in my son’s head that he can manage a lot of things, without neglecting anything, as long as he will try very hard. And that if you work hard on something you love doing, you can steer your life in any direction you want.

Altgough, I would like to share our routine now, I haven’t found any so far. We are still testing and keep changing small bits and pieces of it. I might be even wrong and I can’t make it work for all of my requirements, but about this I am going to tell you, when we are going to find something what will be at least the best for us.

And this is it for today’s post. I hope you enjoyed reading it. If yes, I will appreciate if you will like this post and leave your thoughts in this subject in the comment section (I will be happy to read and reply to every single comment). But for now I wish you all a very productive day and I’ll see you in my next post.

Daria

Have at least 1 hour of ‘working for your future’ every day

Hi guys,

Today I would procceed to explain my 2020 resolutions. As you’ve already seen by the title, I am going to handle in this post having a 1 hour of work for the future. But before I’ll explain why I’ve decided to have this resolution, I’ll try to explain you what I actually mean by working for the future.

As I mentioned in my very old posts, my my goal is to have a passive income, which will allow me not to have to work any more. I don’t intend to stop working in the closest future, but I just want to have this possibility if I want.

To create a passive income, you could have to ways: you can invest money, which is not an option for me (at least not at this point of my life) or invest time for working on such projects, which will keep bringing you money afterwards, without you spending time on them any more. As I am going for this second option, I work on certain projects, which I call projects for the future.

So why I made it as a 2020 resolution? Answer is simple: because I started working on some projects in 2019, but I haven’t been consistent. There were days (before my son was born) when I’ve spent 8 or even 10 hours in one day working on it, but after it has been left for months and months. This way of handling it was a huge time wasting. When I returned to work after very long break, I had to spend at least 1 hour to figure out what have I done so far, go through all my notes I’ve made on the way. Spending just an hour every day, will not allow me to forget about my progress, so although I work just 1 hour a day, it is a very productive hour (it depends on the fact, whether my son sleeps for the whole hour, but any way, my son will be priority no matter what).

Also, having to be focused just for 1 hour doesn’t seem as hard, as if I were to schedule 5 hour in one day a week. And any way, if I can work longer, there is no problem with that either. 1 hour is just minimum of the effort I intend to make during 2020.

That’s it for today’s post. Please keep your fingers crossed that I will actually manage to make this resolution happen. I wish you a very productive day and I’ll see you in my next post.

Daria