You are a sum of all your habits

Hi guys,

Yesterday I have watched another video on YouTube. And the man, who is the owner of channel said one very important sentence (he said many more of them, but this is the one I am going to focus on today):

You are a sum of all your habits.

Why this one, generaly not very hard thing to figure out ourselves, catched my attention? Well, the answer is very simple. In my case, things which seem to be easy, comes to my mind only if they are said aloud. Otherwise my brain tends to ignore them.

And hearing this sentence made me to analyse my behaviour, starting from the time I was a child. And I can agree with this in almost 100%. I had some habits, which have been defining me in the eyes of my family members. Moreover, almost all of my childhood’s habits actualy didn’t stay with me till now. I am completely different person and at the same time my habits are different.

But what scared me a lot is that I have realised about so many current habits, I would prefer not to count into sum of me. And some of them are some kind of characteristic being used by my friends to describe me (I’ve just took my birthday cards, I’ve got six month ago and read all customised wishes; not these being ready-printed on the card). And so many of my friends associates me with some of those habits! Something, what I used to not pay attention to, is so visible to my environment. And I’ve decided that this is a time for changes. Time, when I will conciously decide what habits I want to keep and which of them are going to be removed from my equation. And I will try to work on it as hard as I can, gradually. Just to make this equation work for me.

Of course I will do my research first and if I will learn something new, I will share with you here.

And with this comitment, I am going to finish today’s post. I wish you all very productive day and I’ll see you in my next post.

Daria

Where do you want to see yourself after ten years?

Hi guys,

Today, I would like to talk about the future. And by future I mean quite long period of time. Have you ever thought, where do you wish to see yourself after ten years? If yes, what do you see? How much does it differ from the place where are you now? And finally: do you take actions to actually get there? Propably picture you see is something ideal. But do you think, you will be really happy when you’ll achieve all that? And quite important thing: does this picture include only or mostly material goods?

This questions are quite important (at least according to me). Nowadays a lot of people dream about nice car, luxurious home and even yaht or private plane. And of course there is nothing wrong in dreaming about all those things (or having any of them), but what is worse is to not seeing anything else.

I was talking to one of my friends long time ago. We were trying to figure out our dreams. And he listed all of above things. I asked him why and answer made me really worried. He said that it is because after he would be able to lay down on his couch, watch tv and, if he would get bored of it, he would just move to his yaht or go for a trip. Ok, but where are other people? I don’t even mean helping others, just someone to enjoy all these stuff with. Maybe wife or just friends coming over sometimes. But he didn’t want to. For him it was important only to have these stuff, just for sake of having them.

When I’ve told him that I don’t understand, he answered that eventually I will. Well, it have been many years now and I still don’t understand. Now, we are living in different countries and what more important: in different time zones. This doesn’t give us much time to talk (to be honest we hardly talk, as every time when I wake up, he is in work; when I come back from my work, he is already sleeping), so I have no idea if his dreams have changed over time. I hope they have and now he includes someone else in his dreams. Someone very important to him.

Why do I think that wishing only for material goods is so bad? What makes so big difference, if you are enjoying your stuff with someone, instead of being alone?

First of all, naturaly humans are meant to live social life. And every one and single person I know, no matter man or women, child or adult, extravert or even introvert; they all need contact with other people. At least up to some level. I consider myself as slight introvert, but still I do need to spend some time with others (I need my alone time too, but if I wouldn’t be meeting other people, I would gone mad very quickly).

Second thing is that material things are not constantly same atractive. What I mean by that: you can buy the newest phone you can find on the market, but any way, within month, there will be something newest and better. Running after the vision of having the very best gadgets will never make you happy. Something, what makes you proud today, might become useless the very next day, month or year. New technologies are approaching market as often as never before and I think it is worthed to realise it. And any way, finally each gadget will become boring for us.

And what is more important, material goods are just temporary. We have something – after sometimes it’s damaged. One day, we might loose all money we have and not be able to buy new one. But true and honest relationships are there for us. No matter what is going on. This is how we make our memories, just by spending great time with other people. And if by any chance something happen to us, our family or friends can do, what any kind of technology does – they can support us, even if only by good words or time spent with us, when we are for example stuck in bed. I think, this is worthed considering.

And as you can see, it is so important to care for relationships, make sure you have some people around you first and after chase your dreams about material goods.

And today I am going to finish my post with this thought. I wish you all very productive day and I’ll see you in my post on Monday.

Daria

P. S. You are very welcome to share your opinion about this subject in the comment section. I will be happy to read them.

Another unexpected break

Hi guys,

I have a feeling recently that the only thing I am doing is apologising for not posting. However, again I was not able to help it. I’ve got very bad eye infection which seemed not to heal at all. I have been instructed not to use any electronic devices (any way all the time one of my eyes has been covered so my ability to see without tearing very badly was kept to minimum any way), so I have left my phone and computer for some time (I had tried to write something, but blurry vision didn’t allow me to do anything).

But any way, now I am back. My eyes still aren’t perfect, but at least I am able to see what I am writing, so I will do all my best to keep publishing according to my schedule (starting tomorrow, as it’s going to be Friday 😉 )

For now I wish you very productive day and I’ll see you in my post tomorrow.

Daria

Why in hurry?

Hi guys,

I have realised lately that life of many people (including me) became a kind of race. A lot of us has some goals and try to achieve them ASAP. I would like to start my website, launch an app and many, many more. And that’s great (I think). I’ve realised, that I love programing and I hope I will be able to do this professionaly one day. The only problem is, that I am having those days, when I am not able to enjoy it. I just can’t.

These days make me feel, like every attempt I am taking to write some lines of code are pointless. Especially when I meet any problem requiring more time to solve. It makes me disappointed, when sometimes it takes me day or two to add one function. And at the end it turns out, that it was extremely easy to write. And even if I love researching for solutions, it makes me almost give up.

I was looking for reasons for these feelings and I found out many of them. But the most obvious is that setting goals has turn out to be an bitter enemy of mine. Let me explain why.

First of all, having goals set makes you focus on how your life will change, when you’ll achieve them. At least this is happening to me. At the begining I thought about it as some kind of motivation itself. I haven’t even suspect that starting work on something will become so difficult. Especially, if working itself is just fun for me. The reason for that (in my case, at least) was that focusing on my goals kept reminding me how much left to be done before I’ll get there. This made me some kind of disappointed. And like a child going for holiday with parents is so concerned when they will arrive to their destination and because of that is not paying attention to how beautiful views are around, I was so focused on my goal that not time for enjoying my journey left.

Luckily, I found solutions for this. One is to be aware of reasons, why I picked those particular goals (I have written them in my journal page and read them every day); another think is to forget about goal itself.

Another reason why I coudn’t set to work, was the weight of comitment. Very often when we have to do something, we just don’t feel like. Partially, because of this overwhelming feeling, that no matter what will happen, we have to get certain tasks ticked before the deadline makes us stressed. Goals on the other hand are very special comitments, as we agree with ourselves to do certain things. We have no deadlines, so we are able to keep pushing actual work away. Even if we have deadlines set, who is going to make sure that we have actually kept them? And this problem I have sorted similar way as first one. I’ve stopped thinking about how much needs to be done and when I want to have it done, but focused on my journey instead. No matter how long it might take and whether I am going to arrive anywhere. Just act of doing what I love and learning more and more new thing about it every day, is worth the effort being put into it.

Those reasons of putting work away (even if they seem not important at first) are actually quite dangerous, as we don’t really know about them, as it doesn’t come to our mind to find them. So how can we eliminate them from our life? It is quite hard task, isn’t it?

This made me make one extra plan. If something doesn’t work as it should, I will be just stopping for a while to find the reason for that. It seems very easy, however it requires me to look deeply inside my thoughts, as some of them don’t seem so obvious. They are actually masters in being undiscovered. They only thing being able to make them visible is being extremely honest with yourself.

And with this advice (if I can call it an advice) I am going to finish today’s post. I wish you very productive day and I’ll see you in tomorrow’s post.

Daria

PS. Today, there is no cover picture. I haven’t got a chance to take any good one today…

Not always everything goes well

Hi guys,

I haven’t posted anything for a long time. Unfortuately, I’ve lost my pregnancy. Altough doctors were doing all their best, to prevent it.

Today, I’ve came just to inform you, that I need some time for myself, to keep my thoughts together and go over it just a bit.

I will try to come back as soon as posible, hopefuly since next week, but can’t promise.

Have a very productive day, and I’ll see you in my next post.

Daria

Curtain’s secret

Hi guys,

My last few days were quite hard. Pregnancy (which I am extremely happy about, but even more than that – scared), many days in hospital (just to make sure everything is alright)… I was hoping to get home on Friday, but instead I went yesterday. It was not that nice: I hate hospitals in general, as you know, you are not landing there if you are fine. I remember from my childhood visiting my grandmother, she used to be connected to strange machines. She used to spend most of her days in various hospitals. At least at some point of her life. I loved to visit her, we were very close to each other.

However, each of those visits used to be connected with some sort of pain. In hospital’s beds people seem to be much smaller than they really are, at least for me. They are pale as well (maybe because of illnesses causing them to be there). And what I would like to say, might seem scaring, but I can feel death there.

As a child I spent my first years of my life in hospital as well. I don’t remember too much from that time. Only thing, what I remember, were curtains over some beds (I was in one room with many other children).

Those curtains were scary. They were there and I could hear crying from behind them, a lot of people. One day, I’ve asked a nurse, what those curtains are and why so many people are crying there (usually only one child was taking a bed). She told me, that parents are coming to take their children home, as they feel better now. I was very happy for them. I was dreaming about my own curtain, where my parents will come not only to visit me, but to take me home.

Everything changed around one week before I’ve left. I had my final tests, just to make sure I am ok. I was getting ready, my parents was with me, but there wasn’t any curtain. I explained to my dad my worries, that I don’t think they are going to let me go home. They always give you a curtain in this situation.

And this was the day, I’ve realised, that people behind the curtain were dieing, instead of going home. I had in my head faces of so many friends of mine, who left this world this way. And it started to make sense to me, why people were crying. Obviously, there were no joy tears, as I used to believe.

I remember especially one girl. I don’t know her age, but older than me (at that time she used to carry me). I remember one time, when only we two were in our room, and she asked one question: “Daria, I am not going to have any children, so would you like to be my daughter?”. The only think I understood, was that we are going to play family and I was glad, that I am going to play with someone, who seemed adult for me (eventhough she couldn’t be older than 15, otherwise she wouldn’t be in same ward as me).

She suffered from cancer. My disease was much less damaging and dangerous. For next few days, we were going everywhere together. She used to look after me, put me into sleep, help me change…

Both of us were of these unlucky one, who’s parents lived quite far from the hospital and could visit us only once or twice a week.

After sometime, I saw curtain around her bed as well. I couldn’t sleep that night. In the morning I saw people leaving her bed. All of them crying. I asked them, where is she and got an answer, that she was in the better place.

I was disappointed. First of all, she hasn’t say goodbye to me. Second of all, she hasn’t take me with her. After all I was her daughter, wasn’t I?

I used to cry like mad. For many days, finally, same women who said to me that my friend is in a better place, brought me a letter. I don’t remember actualy, as it was long, long time ago. But it was from my friend, they found it in her stuff. She wrote, that she is going to wait for me and when time will come, she will meet me where she is now.

I still felt sad, but much better. At least I knew now, that I am going to meet her at some point. Well, I haven’t.

I don’t know why, but since that time hospitals bring this feeling to me. Like you can smell death there (as a child I didn’t know what this smell is, but now I understand). And I still can feel it. Every hospital make me wondering, how many people died here, maybe on the same bed I am at the moment.

This post is a bit more sad, than motivating. But to make it feel better, I would like to tell you one lesson, I”ve learnt by these experiences: you never know, how much time left for you, so make sure you’ll make great use of it. Take advantage of every moment you have, so in case if something happen, you’ll have great memories instead of regrets. Is it going to help? I don’t know. But at least good memories are better than regrets.

So with this less positive post I am leaving you today. And I wish you all a very productive day. And I’ll see you tomorrow in my programming’s post.

Daria

Being on top of everything (day twenty three)

Hi guys,

Today’s post is being written from home. Finaly. I feel very weak and sleepy, but that’s because of medicines I am taking. I hope it will go soon.

Today I was thinking about being on top of everything. At the moment I can just dream about it, but I have done next huge step in developing my website. And for a while I felt, like I have it. Like I can do everything I want, I just need to work for it. This, of course, isn’t anything new, never discovered by anyone. But I needed some success very badly.

What I have realised, it’s very important to divide bigger projects into smaller tasks. Why? It just sounds much better, that you have finished two or three tasks out of hundred, than none out of ten. Simple like that.

And this is another skill, I am trying to learn. Dividing any tasks, even if they seem like not too huge, into more, but smaller. It helps a lot.

So I have divided my website project into pieces during my stay in hospital. I have divided it before, but previous tasks still were quite huge. I needed at least two or three hours to complete each of them. My new one are much shorter. I have estimated time of each of tasks and on average I need 20 minutes for each (there are some shorter and the longest one is going to take 1 hour). I am working in 1.5 hours blocks and that alowe me to accoplish at least one and sometimes much more during one working period. This is amazing.

Only this simple think is boosting my productivity any time I am trying to work. And what I have realised, this is what I needed to do. Look into any advises and keep trying them, till I will find set, which works for me perfectly.

Today, as I metioned before, I wasn’t very well. I haven’t felt like doing anything. But I’ve said to myself, that ok, I will get one task done. It’s only 15 minutes. When I have done, I’ve decided to do one more. Another 20 minutes won’t do any difference, will it? This way I was working for two hours in total. Considering my condition, this was great result.

And this is the only think I wanted to share with you today. Maybe it will help you, if you are struggling to start doing anything, or projects you are procceeding in, seem to be too overhelming. Maybe you need some success like I did, even if it will be some small one.

So the only thing I can do now, is to wish you those small successes, which finaly will lead you to achieve this big one, you were dreaming about. Of cours, I couldn’t finish my post without wising you a productive day 😉 I see you in Wednesday’s post.

Daria

How much 24 is? (Days seventeen to twenty two)

Hi guys,

And I have failed, again. Over and over again. I should say sorry. But this time I don’t feel like, as again, unexpected happened. Well, if it would be anything what I could predict, I would do all my best to get ready for this. So I am writting this post from hospital. This time any accident happened. Or maybe some kind of accident?

So everything have started with my nose bleeding. You might say, it’s nothing (and I had said same actually), but it got a bit serious when I couldn’t stop it for four hours. I felt like I am going to collapse, so I’ve decided to call an emergency. I’ve said what is going on, explained that I am home alone and just wanted to get some advise. Instead they’ve came and took me to the hospital.

I was trying to explain, that I must be overworked and nothing else. But it happened to be my blood pressure problem. I am about to be sign out soon (propably tomorrow) as now everything seems to be under control. And my phone was dead for all this time, as my husband kept forgetting to bring my charger (sometimes happen). Any way I wasn’t upset about this. It’s just a phone.

So any way, my next blog post hasn’t appeared (as you could have noticed), but even if I would have my phone with me, medicines are making me sleepy. Well, now I know I needed rest 😉 I can literally feel the difference.

Ok, so this is what was going on with me for last few days. And this time, there are no excuses, just explanation and I hope you’re going to understand.

Today I wanted to talk about something very impotant to all of us. Something, what belongs to everyone and is used by each of us in diferent way. We all have same amount of this source and some of us complains, that it’s not enough, while others think they have more than they actually need.

What is this excellent source? Of course it is 24 hours of our day. No matter, we are kings or beggers or anything in between, no matter if we live in the city or in country side, all we have every day, is 24 hours. We are the one who decide, what are we going to do during this time. Are we going to sleep, meet our friends, spend time with family or maybe all of above? We need to decide.

What is amazing about this currency? No matter how much money you have, how hard you try, you can’t buy even one extra second. And whatever you do with your time now, will bring consequences in your future. That’s why you need to be very carefull, how you are going to spend this currency, you’ve got for free.

What else is amazing about time? Or maybe about human’s nature? That I am sure every and each of us knows at least one person, who does almost nothing, but complains all the time, that he/she doesn’t have time at all. And on the other hand someone who is getting incredible amount of stuff done during every single day and still is looking for some more activities, as there is still a lot of time to use.

And not by accident I used word “currency” to describe time. There are so many similarities about any currency and time. But they are some differences as well.

Let’s start from similarities:

Both of them we are spending. Money we are spending to buy food, clothes, etc., to pay our bills and go for holiday. Time we are spending for doing different kind of activities.

Next think is investing. We can invest money to get more money in the future. With time is similar, but in the future we are gaining not more time, but sometimes some money, other time better relationship, new skills, etc.

The greatest difference (in my opinion) is that we can save money, to use them later. With time is completely different. I’ve heard people saying: do this differently, so you’ll save some time. And this is true. But time, which have been saved this way, must be spent straight away. We can’t use it after one week, or even one hour.

Ok, so this were similarities (not all of them) and main difference between time and money. But what is the answer for question from the title of this blog? How much is 24 hours? Is it a lot or not enough?

Well, the answer is simple: 24 is just enough. Enough to work and earn money, enough to enjoy your hobby and you still have some left to give to your family and friends. The only thing: make sure everything you are doing, you are doing wisely. On the beginning it is hard, but when you’ll find the way, which works for you the best, you’ll realise that you have actually a lot of time left to rest, or start doing new activity you’ve always dreamed about.

For now I wish you very good and productive day, as it’s after midnight already, here in London. And I’ll see you in tomorrow’s post.

Daria

PS. Promised self-development’s post is going to apear on Wednesday, as I have it written on my computer. I think I need to keep saving all post as soon as they are ready, so wherever I’ll log in, I’ll be able to publish it.

Announcement!

Hi guys,

I haven’t been here for quite long time, as so many bad things happen last week. Next morning after publishing my post, I’ve got message, that my 27-years old friend passed away. It broke me down. In my age girl, a few days before we were making holiday’s plans.

I went for funeral to Poland and I just haven’t been able to focus on anything. I’ve just been thare for her family, alone with my own thoughts. I was trying to be strong for them. But in reality I went through a little break out.

When I came back to London, I’ve lost my documents. Just to make it even worse….

Now I am better and I am ready to go back to my goals and dreams. So I’ve decided I am going to start again tomorrow. My book post will appear as well. Today I am going to extend my break, just to put my thoughts as they should be.

So I see you guys tomorrow in proper post and in my book review.

Daria

13th day: ok, it just haven’t work…

Hi guys,

Today I am publishing yesterday’s post and unfortunatelly without any summary. I feel very bad about it, but I coudn’t help it.

So let me explain at least. As you already know, I am working in laundry company. And sometimes happen, that we are short of stuff. But yesterday it was just horrible. You might not know, but tomorrow ramadhan starts (this is islamic month, when all muslims are fasting) so because of this almost no one showed up in work. They needed to prepare (do generall cleaning, buy some frozen stuff to fry, some people are even cooking in advance, to freeze), as since tomorrow they will not be able (they will be able to eat between 9:30pm and 2:30am, plus during this time they have long prayer as well). So out of fifteen people only four was there.

This woudn’t be so bad, but a lot of our customers are halal restaurants and they got ready for ramadhan as well, sending us huge amount of clothing to be washed, ironed and packed. All that made me work for fourteen hours (not only me, all four people).

So I finished my work at 10:30 pm (usually it is 4:30). When I arrived home it was already 11. So the only thing I have done, was having my dinner, shover and I went straight to bed. I had tried to write something, but before my phone logged in, I had fallen asleep. So I am writting now, very short post, just to let you know. And today I am going to finish on time, so I’ll try to do more than usually and inform you in my evening’s post for today 🙂

So see you all in the evening and I am going back to work, as my break is almost finish. Have a good day 😉

Daria