What can we learn from five-year-old

Hi guys,

In today’s post I am going to leave subject of self-awareness for a while (at least till the moment, when I will have some results to share with you). However, at the moment I am enjoying three days off in my work. As I have quite a lot of medical things to sort out and university related tasks, which are going to get over due soon, I have decided to take short holiday. And that makes me excited a lot. I know, I have been desperately wanting to come back to work after my dehydration thing (yeah, and how you can understand a women 😉 ), but as I mentioned, I think the reason for that was just being forced to take off.

I am also planning to get as much work on my channel as I possibly can (I have ordered microphone already and I hope that it will arrive till Monday), so I keep my fingers crossed that I will be able to get it going by the end of the next week. Of course I will share here the results of my hours and hours of work and I hope it was worthed so much effort.

Other than that, there is so much things going on next week and I am looking forward for it to come. One of the things is my cousin’s son birthday. He is going to be 5 on Thursday and he is so amazing human being. Every time I talk to him, I am learning something new. His innocence and straight-forwardness (I hope this word actually exist and I am not making it up) make me realise so much about my adult life.

So today, I have decided to share some stories, where my nephew play a main part in and I’ll explain you what have I lernt from these events.

Honesty

This story have taken place one and a half year ago on Christmas Eve. But before I will jump into the story, I am going to tell you something about polish tradition (and as far as I know, at least in UK, Christmas celebration is very different than in my back home). So in Poland the very special event is a Christmas Eve, to be more detailed, Christmas Eve’s supper. According to the tradition, people start all celebrations, when first star appear on the sky. There is huge excitement among the children, who usually are in charge of spotting it, while adults are trying to take care of last bits of pieces, to make the whole evening perfect (and there is a lot to do, as polish tradition includes twelve meals for Christmas Eve’s supper; what usually is interesting for people, who I am talking to, is that each participant have to (at least) try each of them, no matter how full she or he is or if this is something they like or not; the only exception are alergies and food intollerances). This day everyone is wearing elegant clothes, etc. So that year we were celebrating in my aunties home and me and my cousin decided to meet in her home before, get ready there and go together. When I was ready, I asked her if I look ok, she confirmed. “What do you think, Darek?”. And his answer made me laugh, as he said: “This dress makes you look fat”.

And this made my cousin mad. She started to appologise and tried to explain him, that it isn’t right to say that. However, I think, he had full right to tell this (he could say it in more delicate way, but as a child he wouldn’t know how to do it). This is something what annoyes me about adult. First of all, people who ask for opinion, but they want to hear only good things. And second of all, people asked for opinion, who lie to you, just because they don’t want to hurt you. I think this second one comes out of first, as people came across someone, who blasted at them, when they said what they think and they just want to keep their opinion in the future. Moreover, parents who are getting angry at their children, when they are saying what they think. As a result, growing up makes us less honest after each situation of this kind.

So what I have learnt from this situation, is to be honest and say what you think; and the other thing is to have distance to myself (if I ask for opinion, I prefer to hear opinion, not what I would like to hear).

Innocence

This story is much shorter than the previous one. So what have happened at one time when I was visiting them, was that Darek grabbed my bag and threw all the stuff on the floor. I have to admit, that I have gotten mad at first. But when I’ve asked him, why he did this, he answered that his mum is always doing this after their walk, so it is not a big deal.

Children are innocent by default, as they haven’t got chance to learn how to be bad, yet. They make mistakes and sometimes are getting on other people’s nerves, however they don’t do this intentionally (at least in most of cases). They are just copying people’s behaviour, these who are around them. How they would learn otherwise? They don’t know all written and unwritten rules playing a huge part in adult’s world.

This taught me to be understanding, as we can hurt the person, who didn’t have an intention to do anything wrong. The best way is to talk first 😉 at least you will know that blasting at them is a right thing 😉

Curiousity

This is propably the best one. Children are just striving to learn about the world. They keep asking questions, and they won’t stop till they fully understand what they want to know. How I see it with my nephew? Every time when I am doing something, Darek keeps asking questions: what are you doing? Why are you doing this? Why can’t you do this this or that way?

Children don’t know about the rules you need to follow, if you want to leave in society. They don’t worry about getting knowledge and skills for their future job, yet. They just strive to get knowledge just for the sake of… having knowledge. Simple as that. But what is even more amazing, they don’t just want to know, they want to understand, too. And this is ability that a lot of us, adults, are missing.

These are all things I am going to mention today, eventhough there are many more. I am sure, if you are lucky to spend time with children, you can find many of them by yourself.

For today, I wish you a very productive day and I’ll see you in my next post.

Daria

P.S. Today’s post is one day late, but since tomorrow, I am going to go back to regular schedule (Monday, Wednesday and Friday). I hope you liked today’s post and I will be happy to read, if you can think of any other things to learn from the children.

14th: are adults able to see the world the way children do?

Hi guys,

Here we are. 14th day, exactly two weeks. Unbelievable! It went so fast and I feel like I’ve done more during this time, than I have done any time before. How one simple thing, like setting up blog, can change the entire way of seeing work. Like magic, it has transfered my stuff to do into fun. I don’t even try to look for excuses any more (ok, except yesterday, but yesterday I’ve deserved some break, haven’t I?).

Any way, today I went to do some grocery shopping and I was just walking along the aisles without any deeper thoughts, when I saw (or heard, to be precized) around four-years-old boy shouting to his mum. He wants cookies. And his mum trying to explain him, that they can’t afford for it now, as she doesn’t have enough money with her. “Use your card!” he came with an idea almost straight away. Mom haven’t say anything else. Maybe she didn’t want to have show in supermarket with her son as a star, or maybe his explanation worked. Any way she just took cookies for him.

Why I am talking about this? This situation made my brain start working. My memories came to me. I don’t have my own children yet, but a lot of my cousins have and when I was living in Poland, very often they were asking me to look after their little ones. And I loved it! Not because I had an excuse to go to playground and play, without people looking at me like I’ve gotten mad (of course I’ve been doing it as well 😉 ), but because of deep conversation I used to have with my nephews and nieces. They blew my mind!

I remember one day, when we came back from walk with my five-years-old (that time) nephew. My cousin left him to me and his clothes were all in mud (he had great idea to roll down from hill. It was after rain). I said to him: “When your mum will see you, she’ll be very upset”. His answer was: “Don’t worry, Daria. You can wash them, just ask her to bring other clothes for me, so those will be for next time, when I’ll come. I am child, so I can get dirty even when I am eating. She should have known this by now.” Simple like that.

Why this blew my mind? Because children don’t care for not important things (of course they have their small problems, like someone forcing them to eat vegetables and small dilemmas like which toy to play now). They are just enjoying every moment. While adults are wondering, what people are going to say, children are thinking: “How much fun I am going to have, if I’ll do this or that?”. Isn’t it amazing?

And what ability children have, but a lot of adults is missing? They have imagination. And they don’t have anything in their mind, what would stop them to meke use of it.

I remember when I was drawing with one of my nieces. She drew red grass. I said (of course politely) that I think grass is green. She said, that in her picture is red, because tree is going to be green, so it would be too much green colour on her picture.

No matter how you think, she was right. And second thing is, it was her picture, so what’s wrong if her grass is red? She likes it.

Another great think, they don’t care what people do. They want red grass, they just make it red. No wondering, what will people say about it. Important is, what they want. No rules, no boarder. Just pure imagination.

And most of adults are doing, what I have done by saying abot green grass. They are killing childrens imagination. Something, what they’ve lost on their own (maybe same way). How many times we hear mother or father reprymending their child: “don’t do this, your clothes will be dirty” or “don’t run too fast, you’ll fall down”. When I think now, my parents never told me “don’t climb this tree” (of course when I was getting too high, they asked me to get little lower). I have fallen many times, my arms and legs were covered with scabs and bruises, but I was getting up and till now, I am still alive 😉 And to be honest I don’t remember any pain after falling, but what I remember is, that I’ve always had a lot of fun. By now, this was the best time in my life. 

And when I see situation, when mother is saying to her child not to get dirty, I feel sorry for this child (I don’t blame mother, as I don’t know, maybe her child has some health problems and it dangerous for him, but still I feel sorry). I feel sorry for all children, who are alowed to play all day on computers, smartphones, watch TV, etc. and are not encouraged to go out and play with other children. I feel sorry, if they don’t know how to ride bike, they don’t play football or generally have fun outside, because they may fall down and get bruises. I am just wondering, how they are going to cope with failures in the future, if they will not learn that now? How they are going to be prepared for beeing adult, if they will not have chance, to find out, how to be a child? And what is the most important: how they will know, how to talk to people, if in childhood the only company for them were electeonic gadgets? So basic skills, which I had learned in childhood (and I think most of us, if we were born before computers became the only activity) will be missing in their life. They’ll have to catch up.

When I visited my friend, who was punishing her son for something and punishment was that he had to stop playing his xbox for one hour (he had to go out instead) and his screaming because of thit, made me feel so depressed. Me and my brothers were begging our parents to ask us to clean all house, if we only could go for one hour out after. It was worthed for us. Being grounded was the worse punishment (I remember one time I even told to my dad, that I prefer he hit me instead of leaving me at home 😀 ).

And don’t get me wrong, we’ve made a lot of mistakes in our childhood. There were a lot of broken windows, broken bikes and hurt children, but we had chance to learn, how to take responsibility for our actions (yes, we had to work for every window, or earn for new bikes, mainly by doing extra chordes at home. When we broke our friend’s leg or arm, we had to help looking after him, and so on). But still I think, we were prepared better to start adult life, than new generations are going to be. We are not requiring anything what we do not deserve, we are not taking anything for granted (ok, most of us doesn’t), we are working hard, for everything we have (no matter if it is rented room or huge owned home, but we’ve got it, because we know, how to work).

Our parents weren’t overprotective and we are still alive. They’ve put in our heads what is right and what is wrong. Of course, they were controling us, when we were going to far with our ideas (can you belive, that when I was five or six I wanted to do bungee jump? But from fourth floor and with laundy string tighed to my leg 😉 my parents stoped me and explain why it wasn’t very best idea 🙂 ). But they let us make our mistakes, so we could feel on our own skin, what consequences we might meet after doing certain things.

And that’s it for my memories and thoughts. I don’t think all parents are overprotective nowadays. And that times changed, but please, at least sometimes control your children from far, let them fall down and get up. And don’t only reprend them. Remember, one day they are going to grow up and if the only memories with their parents will be shouting, do you thing, they are going to come to you with real problems? Or if you were in their shoes, would you? Just little thing to think about.
And now I am going to my summary 😉 :

Arabic lesson – checked 🙂

Tree CSS lessons – checked 🙂

Five chapters of book – checked 🙂

Sunday post – checked 🙂

Plan for tomorrow – checked 🙂

Today’s post – checked 🙂
For now I wish you productive day and some ability to see world the way children do (at least sometimes 😉 ).

Daria