One more thing that I’ve learnt since having my son

Hi guys,

Recently I’ve been getting caught in watching my son’s development. It is an amazing feeling to see how every day he is being less of a baby and how every day he is learning something new. These simple things for me and you like walking, holding a spoon or simply communicating what he needs at any given moment, make him more independent.

And we could say, that such a small creature can not teach us anything. He is the one who is learning, isn’t he? For me, looking after him is the hardest, but at the same time the most rewarding lesson in my life. So today I would like to share with you one more thing that my son has taught me.

Let me tell you the backstory first. The company I used to work for has closed down a month ago and before all workers have been laid out for a while, so as a result, I haven’t been at work for quite a while. But as I’ve got the news that there won’t be any returning to my previous workplace, I’ve decided to look for the new one. After consulting with my husband, we got to the conclusion that the best option for us would be if I would start working part-time, so I wouldn’t be too tired to look after our son. However, we all know what times we are living in, and we all know that it hasn’t been so hard to find employment since a long time as it is now. So when I got a full-time job offer, I just took it. This way, here I am working over 40 hours a week during nights and watching my son in the day time. But I have to admit: although sometimes my brain switches into zombie mode for a while, there are moments when IΒ just want sit in a corner of my bed and cry, I am very grateful for having this job and an opportunity to still have a lot of time with my son.

Nevertheless coming back to the story, when I am very sleepy, it takes me a bit more time to figure out what my son is asking me for (he doesn’t talk apart of few single worlds, he communicates his needs and wants by showing us). And he keeps telling me on his way, till he gets what he wants. No matter how long it takes me to understand him, he doesn’t give up till I’ll finally realize.

Where is the lesson? You might be thinking now. All children do this, as otherwise, we would be leaving them hungry, in dirty nappies and even forgot about them sometimes. That’s, of course, true, mother nature made them able to survive this way. As they don’t know any of the world’s rules, there are no impossible things for them. Danger doesn’t exist too, that’s why parents grow invisible eyes on the back of their heads, but this is a story for the other time πŸ˜‰ But having no limits (at least in their heads), children do fight for what they think they should have (read: everything).

As we grew up, we learnt that we can’t have whatever we want. On the way, our self-esteem got lower too, so even things that are within our capability seem impossible to get. We are not good enough to pursue this or that profession, we are not able to earn enough money to buy a home or car or whatever else we dream of. We can’t and that’s it.

On the other hand, children will keep looking for the other way to get what they want. They will not give up (at least until something else will distract them). Their small goals, which for us are worthed nothing, for them are everything that they want to live for at that moment. And they just go for it.

To conclude, a very important lesson from my son is to stay persistent on the way to achieving goals. Get failures quickly and try the other way. Because you cannot have a destination if there is no road to lead to it. And even if there is no road, you can still be the one, who will build a new one for others to follow.

That’s it for today’s post. If you have a different lesson to learn from children, please share it in the comment. I will be happy to read all of them. For now, I wish you a very productive day and I’ll see you in my next post.

Daria

14th: are adults able to see the world the way children do?

Hi guys,

Here we are. 14th day, exactly two weeks. Unbelievable! It went so fast and I feel like I’ve done more during this time, than I have done any time before. How one simple thing, like setting up blog, can change the entire way of seeing work. Like magic, it has transfered my stuff to do into fun. I don’t even try to look for excuses any more (ok, except yesterday, but yesterday I’ve deserved some break, haven’t I?).

Any way, today I went to do some grocery shopping and I was just walking along the aisles without any deeper thoughts, when I saw (or heard, to be precized) around four-years-old boy shouting to his mum. He wants cookies. And his mum trying to explain him, that they can’t afford for it now, as she doesn’t have enough money with her. “Use your card!” he came with an idea almost straight away. Mom haven’t say anything else. Maybe she didn’t want to have show in supermarket with her son as a star, or maybe his explanation worked. Any way she just took cookies for him.

Why I am talking about this? This situation made my brain start working. My memories came to me. I don’t have my own children yet, but a lot of my cousins have and when I was living in Poland, very often they were asking me to look after their little ones. And I loved it! Not because I had an excuse to go to playground and play, without people looking at me like I’ve gotten mad (of course I’ve been doing it as well πŸ˜‰ ), but because of deep conversation I used to have with my nephews and nieces. They blew my mind!

I remember one day, when we came back from walk with my five-years-old (that time) nephew. My cousin left him to me and his clothes were all in mud (he had great idea to roll down from hill. It was after rain). I said to him: “When your mum will see you, she’ll be very upset”. His answer was: “Don’t worry, Daria. You can wash them, just ask her to bring other clothes for me, so those will be for next time, when I’ll come. I am child, so I can get dirty even when I am eating. She should have known this by now.” Simple like that.

Why this blew my mind? Because children don’t care for not important things (of course they have their small problems, like someone forcing them to eat vegetables and small dilemmas like which toy to play now). They are just enjoying every moment. While adults are wondering, what people are going to say, children are thinking: “How much fun I am going to have, if I’ll do this or that?”. Isn’t it amazing?

And what ability children have, but a lot of adults is missing? They have imagination. And they don’t have anything in their mind, what would stop them to meke use of it.

I remember when I was drawing with one of my nieces. She drew red grass. I said (of course politely) that I think grass is green. She said, that in her picture is red, because tree is going to be green, so it would be too much green colour on her picture.

No matter how you think, she was right. And second thing is, it was her picture, so what’s wrong if her grass is red? She likes it.

Another great think, they don’t care what people do. They want red grass, they just make it red. No wondering, what will people say about it. Important is, what they want. No rules, no boarder. Just pure imagination.

And most of adults are doing, what I have done by saying abot green grass. They are killing childrens imagination. Something, what they’ve lost on their own (maybe same way). How many times we hear mother or father reprymending their child: “don’t do this, your clothes will be dirty” or “don’t run too fast, you’ll fall down”. When I think now, my parents never told me “don’t climb this tree” (of course when I was getting too high, they asked me to get little lower). I have fallen many times, my arms and legs were covered with scabs and bruises, but I was getting up and till now, I am still alive πŸ˜‰ And to be honest I don’t remember any pain after falling, but what I remember is, that I’ve always had a lot of fun. By now, this was the best time in my life. 

And when I see situation, when mother is saying to her child not to get dirty, I feel sorry for this child (I don’t blame mother, as I don’t know, maybe her child has some health problems and it dangerous for him, but still I feel sorry). I feel sorry for all children, who are alowed to play all day on computers, smartphones, watch TV, etc. and are not encouraged to go out and play with other children. I feel sorry, if they don’t know how to ride bike, they don’t play football or generally have fun outside, because they may fall down and get bruises. I am just wondering, how they are going to cope with failures in the future, if they will not learn that now? How they are going to be prepared for beeing adult, if they will not have chance, to find out, how to be a child? And what is the most important: how they will know, how to talk to people, if in childhood the only company for them were electeonic gadgets? So basic skills, which I had learned in childhood (and I think most of us, if we were born before computers became the only activity) will be missing in their life. They’ll have to catch up.

When I visited my friend, who was punishing her son for something and punishment was that he had to stop playing his xbox for one hour (he had to go out instead) and his screaming because of thit, made me feel so depressed. Me and my brothers were begging our parents to ask us to clean all house, if we only could go for one hour out after. It was worthed for us. Being grounded was the worse punishment (I remember one time I even told to my dad, that I prefer he hit me instead of leaving me at home πŸ˜€ ).

And don’t get me wrong, we’ve made a lot of mistakes in our childhood. There were a lot of broken windows, broken bikes and hurt children, but we had chance to learn, how to take responsibility for our actions (yes, we had to work for every window, or earn for new bikes, mainly by doing extra chordes at home. When we broke our friend’s leg or arm, we had to help looking after him, and so on). But still I think, we were prepared better to start adult life, than new generations are going to be. We are not requiring anything what we do not deserve, we are not taking anything for granted (ok, most of us doesn’t), we are working hard, for everything we have (no matter if it is rented room or huge owned home, but we’ve got it, because we know, how to work).

Our parents weren’t overprotective and we are still alive. They’ve put in our heads what is right and what is wrong. Of course, they were controling us, when we were going to far with our ideas (can you belive, that when I was five or six I wanted to do bungee jump? But from fourth floor and with laundy string tighed to my leg πŸ˜‰ my parents stoped me and explain why it wasn’t very best idea πŸ™‚ ). But they let us make our mistakes, so we could feel on our own skin, what consequences we might meet after doing certain things.

And that’s it for my memories and thoughts. I don’t think all parents are overprotective nowadays. And that times changed, but please, at least sometimes control your children from far, let them fall down and get up. And don’t only reprend them. Remember, one day they are going to grow up and if the only memories with their parents will be shouting, do you thing, they are going to come to you with real problems? Or if you were in their shoes, would you? Just little thing to think about.
And now I am going to my summary πŸ˜‰ :

Arabic lesson – checked πŸ™‚

Tree CSS lessons – checked πŸ™‚

Five chapters of book – checked πŸ™‚

Sunday post – checked πŸ™‚

Plan for tomorrow – checked πŸ™‚

Today’s post – checked πŸ™‚
For now I wish you productive day and some ability to see world the way children do (at least sometimes πŸ˜‰ ).

Daria