Don’t expect different results, when you keep doing same things all over again

Hi guys,

Today I would like to talk about an aspect known probably by most of us. Either we are guilty of doing it or at least we know someone, who’s description I am going to present to you now.

Imagine the person, who says: “I would like to change my job, but there is no other job for me”. When asked: “Have you try to apply anywhere else?”.
“Yes, I did. But I haven’t got any response.”
“Have you thought why?”
“They all were requiring certain skills, which I don’t have. But I will keep trying to apply.”
“Have you done anything to get those skills?”
“No, but I will keep applying till I will get my dream job”.
This was just example. Person, who tries to get something, knows why he is not getting it, knows, what he should do to change it, but does nothing. Just keeps doing same, not working things, hoping that next time results will be different.
He might be lucky and that might be the case, but as he keeps trying with no desired results, chances for that are very low.
Any way, the person feels that he is doing his best. He keeps thinking that everything will change one day, even if he is making same mistakes all over again (in this made up story, he doesn’t get skills necessary for his dreamed job).
Although this isn’t a real story, I think all (or at least most) of us were in that place at least once. I like to call this kind of situation as ‘one day I will…’ time. After these three dots you can put whatever you want: one day I will get new job, start my business, travel, spend more time with my family, get skills I’ve always dreamed of and many more. Possibilities are endless, as many people as many cases (and also there are some, including myself, who could think about a lot of things to include in this statement). You know, this ‘I need to get my life together. One day I will…’
The only problem is that our life is passing by, it will not stop and take a break, just because we want it to. We also tend to forget that changes take time. We can change our attitude right away, but to see results of these changes, usually takes some time. It is very important thing to realise our power and believe in our ability to change the situation we are in.
Especially, that our actions might not work and we need to look for some other ways to make changes. If we will not give ourselves a chance to make a mistake, who else will?
So today, I have a challenge for each of you: think about your perfect life and decide what is your first step to get there. And most important: take this step, no matter how bouncy and hard this road seems to be.
That’s it for today’s post. I wish you a very productive day and I’ll see you in my next post.
Daria

Trespass the fence of your fear to gain creativity

Hi guys,

Today, before I jump into the content, I will say that I am just amazing. I have prepared this post on Tuesday and scheduled it for Wednesday (at least this is what I believed). But as soon as I opened a wordpress app, I have realised that in reality, I have scheduled it for today. So here it is, again late.

However, today’s topic came out of nowhere. I have been thinking, how it is possible, that some people seem to be natural in their talent, it almost looks like that they have been born and they already knew how to be good at something, while others need years and years to bring the same skill to similar level. As it isn’t topic of this subject, I will tell you about my conlusion in the next post. Today, I would like to focus on creativity. Have you ever wonder, why some people are so open, always come out with great ideas, their art work stands out (not only because of their talent, but the way how they presented the topic)? While on the other hand, some people seem to just copy everyone around, without having anything original to show?

Propably, you would call the first group creative, but why the other are not? What characteristic you need to have, to be creative? Or maybe, it is a genes work and you can not do anything about it?

I have been thinking about it since quite long time. Myself, I struggle with creativity quite often. But what I have realised, my struggle is not to have an idea, but to accept any of them. Propably, it doesn’t make sense now, but let me explain it further:

When I am trying to brainstorm any problem (if it is about my personal projects, I do this on my own), I usually have a lot of ideas how to solve it. However, some of them are being rejected, before I (at least!) looked closer at them and analysed them. Simply, I am just ignoring them and forget almost right away.

When I realised this process taking place in my mind, I started to wonder why I am doing this. I mean, I complain very often about my lack of creativity, but when I have ideas, I am not even trying to analyse them. And I came to very interesting conclusion, when I figure out, what creativity means.

For me, to come out with a good idea, you need to reveal a part of yourself. The ability of sneaking your way into things that already exist, delivering it in your way – this is what creativity is. Wheather you are an artist, you try to create a website, or try to set up a business, which will be standing out from many other similar businesses; you have to come up with something, what haven’t been done before. And here is the problem. That means, that this part of your personality or past will be exposed to everyone. In my case, it cause a fear. Eventhough, I am not aware of it. But in the back of my head, I am predicting all judgements I would hear, if I would just get it into the real world: “what a stupid idea!”; “how she could think, that this is going to work?”; “there is not even slight chance of a success!”; and so on. All this can make me put my head down and just back up. It is easier, isn’t it?

Well, not always. I have heard a lot stories of people on their death bed. They almost never regretted what they did, but almost always did regret things, they didn’t do. All these things, they were lacking courage to achieve. They wish, they haven’t pay as much attention to other people’s opinion and just live their life instead.

I am the person, who has a lot of ideas in my head, some of them might not be good. But I will never know, if I will not try them. However, I am not spending enough time, to get them ready. I still keep starting new projects, before the previous one are finished and I am ending up with nothing. Because, what if people don’t like, what I am doing? What, if they will laugh and keep pointing fingers at me?

But what is the funniest thing in all that? Reasonable part of me knows, that nothing like this is going to happen. And even if it would, I wouldn’t care as much propably. So the only thing, what could propably happen, is just a failure. Which propably will be forgotten by everyone (including myself) quite soon.

And this part of you, which you would let out with your creative way of doing things, will propably not be spotted by anyone. Just because random people don’t know you well enough, to determine what comes from your personal experiences and what have been coloured a bit, to make it more atractive. They know almost nothing about your emotions, about this small part of your soul, you are exposing to them. They can see it, but they won’t be knowing, that you did this because this and this happened. They will just appreciate it or not, but as a whole only. Not each piece of it, as they will not analyse it as deeply.

And even if your project fails, you will learn something new about yourself. And what is more important, you will be able to move to the next project, without thoughts in your head wondering: “What, if I would tried that one?”. You will just know, it wouldn’t work. And by doing this, you will teach yourself to open more. To let your creativity to be free and keep yourself motivated (if you are not afraid of surreal consequences, it will be easier for you, to do what you love).

And with this thought, I am going to finish this post. I hope you like it and, as always, I wish you a very productive day and I’ll see you in my next post.

Daria

15th day: voices in my head…

Hi guys,

Next day is almost finished (actually is already finished, as my clock is showing 3 am, when I am starting this post) and so many things – mostly good – happen. I was thinking to share them with you, but after I’ve decided, that this post would be too long and well… just useless for you (what kind of value it will bring to your life, if you know what I have been doing all day?). Instead, I am going to talk about something, what can happen to every one (and propably to many of you actually does).

What I am going to talk about, are voices in my head. Well, it sounds weird and some of you (if not all) might think, that I am simply mad. But I don’t mean those kind of voices 😉

Let me try to explain: imagine, you have some idea in your head. You mind was just empty and out of a sudden it was there. You are thinking it through and as more you are thinking, you are geting more and more sure, that this is brilliant idea!

Straight away you sit to make a plan, write everything what needs to be done, you are just ready to start. Feeling, that you were born to do this becomes your company. Huge, huge motivation to do some action stay shoulder by shoulder with you. First steps are done. And… here they are. Voices in your head saying: “man, what are you doing? You are going to fail, any way. Don’t waste your time!”.

Ok, you are just trying to ignore it. But no: “Do you know, how people will react? They will laugh. And not only that, they will look at you like they look at losers. Do you want that?”.

And you motivation disappears. You are starting to work less and less. Finally you give up completely. You brilliant idea seems not to be so brilliant any more.

Where are those voices coming from? Who put them there? Answer is very simple: you. You are the one, who is feeding them, who let them be more powerfull, than they actually are. But what is the worse? You are the one, who let them win. Over and over again.

So let’s look at our voices a bit closer. What they are?

Long time ago, I’ve red that everyone have his/her comfort zone (I don’t remember where I’ve red, but definetely it was in one of the books). Some environment, routine… Something what is with us every day. We can repeat it with closed eyes. And any try to move outside our comfort zone is making us feel fearfull (outside something new and unknown is waiting for us… who knows, maybe monster? 😉 ).

But on the other hand, if we’ll not leave our confort zone, we are not going to get anywhere further. Our life will never change.

So how can we fight with voices in our head? Here are some of my suggestion.

The worst thing, which can happen

This is what I am doing every time. I am making list of consequences in case of failure. And guess what? I’ve never had any monster on my list 😉

Actually when we write them, we can see, they are not so scaring like they seem to. We can just realise, that well.. nothing wrong can happen, everyone is going to stay alive 😉

And what is the other advantage of this list? Something what is completely unknown for us, is becoming something more transparent. We just feel more comfortable with it.

Make list of good things

Well, if we connect this method with previous one, we are getting clear picture of what might happen if we carry on with our activities. We can actually compare, the worst and the best scenarios. And believe me, mostly we have more to win, than to lose 😉

Is it a real problem?

If those two methods haven’t work, come back to your the worst scenario list and check every position again. And decide, whether this is real or imagined problem. For example, let’s say, you had written: “People are going to think, that I am a loser”. So thing, who are you going to do it for? For people? Does it really matter to you, what others think? And finally: is it going to harm you? Well, not really…

In my case, most of my problems are just imagined. They just don’t matter. And when I realise that, my voices are leaving me alone, my motivation is coming back again.

Sometimes, they are trying to come back. To sneak into my head, like I’ve never threw them out before. Sometimes, they even try to pretend, that they are saying what I really thing. They are coming, when my work doesn’t bring results I wish it would. But that time I am just thinking, that I can cope with them. I won before, why not again? And it’s became even easier since I’ve learnt how to work for myself. Not for any one else. Not for financial benefits. Just for the time spent on doing stuff I love. And do you know what? Now my voices became shy. Maybe they know, that for everything they’ll say, I am going to answer: “So what? I am having fun now, without you. Just go away!”. I’m not sure, but it really works 😉
I hope it will be helpfull for at least some of you. It’s nothing complicated and if you think deeper about it, you already knew it before. You just needed someone from outside your head, to say it loud 😉

Any way, let’s move to today’s summary:

Chapter of book – checked 😉

CSS lesson – checked 🙂

Being active – checked 🙂

Arabic homework – checked 🙂

Today’s post – checked 🙂

Plan for tomorrow – checked 🙂

And for now I am going to bed, as it’s already 4:20 am in London. I wish you very productive day and only won battles in this hard war with your own voices 😉 and if you have any other ways to fight with them, you are very welcome to share it in the comment section.

Mean time I see you in tomorrow’s post.

Daria