What shall I study to find a job after?

Hi guys,

Today I would like to talk about something what have been bothering me for a long time, namely: new responsibilities. As we are all living in rapidly changing world, where we can’t really be sure what is going to happen tomorrow, we are exposed to many unexpected situations. On the top of this, more and more often we can hear, that soon robots are going to replace people in many jobs.

Sometimes, during conversations with my friends, I am finding out that they don’t see any point in further learning, as it will leave them as another uneployed master or phd diploma holder. And unfortunatelly, very often they are right. Especially if they are associating their education with standard institutions only, like schools, universities and some kind of courses on top of that. Even now, we have a lot of people being graduated with the best possible marks, but still struggling to find a job of their dream. But on the other hand, there are a lot of people, who hardly graduated from primary school, but doing great any way.

So what in reality matters when we are trying to plan our future? How to choose a degree, which will not end up as three years being wasted, leaving us with student loan? While thinking about answers for these questions, I came up with some tips for myself:

  • Whatever degree you choose, make sure you have a plan

This is very important thing for me. Starting a university, you are going to learn a lot of various things. At the same time, you are not going to need all knowledge, which you are going to get there. Having some kind of plan might help you decide, on which subjects do you need to focus more and which of them require you to have just some basic knowledge. Even if during your course you’ll change my mind, you will still have basic knowledge to explore the topic much quicker.

  • Make sure that you are going to learn something, what is interesting for you

This is something what a lot of people are forgetting about. Studying for even just three years might be quite a hard task. But if you study something what makes you bored… well, I wish you good luck… But if you are thinking that it is just three years, you can survive it, remember that there are many years of work in choosen profession ahead of you. So maybe it is worthed to consider, wether you really can survive?

  • Don’t focus just on your university work

I think, this is the most important thing. While you are learning, try to find as many opportunities as you can to gain some experience. It is connected with your plan. You might try to gain skills, which you will be able to take advantage in your future work of (and they don’t have to be gained in your dream field of work). Try to meet as many people from your future field. They are experienced and they can keep advising you during your learning process.

  • Don’t stop learning

Having your dreamed job, doesn’t mean that you are done with learning. As I mentioned at the begining, today’s world changes with light speed and you need to keep up with it. So make sure you do and you’ll be able to sleep with peace. If you think that your profession might disappear in short future, learn something new, so you’ll have more opportunities when you are forced to look for new job.

To summarise, living in changing world requires from us much more awareness and taking responsibility for our choices. We can’t think just about present, but we should consider how our skills might help us in the future. Just in case, if what we intend to do, does not exist any more.

And with this thought I will leave you today. I wish you a very productive day and I’ll see you in my next post.

Daria

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Happy New Year! And 2018 resolutions :)

Hi guys,

As this end of the year was just crazy, full of unexpected events, guests and many, many beautifull moments, I’ve decided to take break (well, not first time, any way). People, who I haven’t seen for ages came to share this special time with me. Huge surprise, but how amazing at the same time!

Any way, today, while everyone is getting ready for New Year’s party, I’ve decided to use this time to write something for you, guys. First of all: Happy 2018 Year! I wish all your dreams will come true this year and I hope that this 2017 year, we are saying goodbye to, left some great memories in your hearts.

Tomorrow, we are going to start with new, blank page to write on. When I was a child, I liked to think about new year like this. Everything what have been good in all years was kept in memory, but all bad things have been forgotten. That time I was writting in my journal. Everything what happened each day, used to be documented. And by everything, I mean everything. I went to school – in my journal; I ate chocolate bar for snack – in my journal; even I thought at some point of the day, that it would be nice if it were snowing – guess what? – I can read it now, in my journal 😀 So unexpected, isn’t it 😀

I’ve lost my point: every year I used to buy new notebook to write in, so for me new year really meant a new blank page (or better notebook). Every 1st of January, when I used to sit behind my desk to tell about everything what happened, there was nothing to come back to. No bad bad things, only good things in my memory. Believe me, amazing feeling!

Nowadays I don’t have journal (well, I have my bullet journal, but let’s be honest: I use it more as a planner, than a place where I can just write every single detail of my day), but I found my old ones. And in the begining of each of them, there is some short summary of my previous year’s resolutions and new year’s resolutions. Every year very ambitious (like for a child), but what is most important, at the end of almost every year, they were just done. In all of my summaries it was written: this was something I wanted to do in the beginning of 2000 year and I’ve done it in this month. Unbelievable!

A the moment, I still do my resolution list, but let’s be honest, by the end of the year I don’t even have an idea, where this list is gone. So today, I am going to share with you some goals for 2018 year (I have another, bit bigger list in my bullet journal, but forgive me leaving my personal goals in secret 😉 ).

2018 resolution list:

  • Keep my schedule of blog posts

As you might remember, I introduced my schedule some time ago and so far following it was just a fail. Huge fail! So at the end of the year I want to be able to say: Hey, for the whole year I kept publishing my posts ON TIME!”.

  • Bring projects from my head into the reality

You might know about some of those projects, as I wrote about them in my very first post. By now, I have few new one, being ideas in my head. Some of them where supposed to be ready by now… well.. This year, I want to work seriously hard and handle maximum two big projects at the time. And what really important, I want to have plan: my projects divided into small tasks with deadlines. Hopefully, before 2018 will end, you will already know, that some of them are actually done.

  • Start doing my university assignments when they are posted, not week before deadline

Yep, even if I know, that something will take a lot of time, I procrastinate it a lot, so when I am starting, I have only little time to finish it (be honest, not as well as I wish to) and only if I will not sleep for at least two or three nights providing my organism with huge ammount of coffee. Well, this new year I want to change it.

  • Last, but not least is to be more consistent

This is the harder one for me. I like to start a lot of different things, but quite quickly I am giving up. Even before I am able to judge, whether this particular activity is right for me or not. This was always a big challenge for me, but since this year, I want to make sure, that whatever I will start doing, I will do it consistently for at least half year.

And those are all my resolutions I want to share. There are some more, but as I said before, they are very personal.

So again, I wish you a happy New Year. I hope it will be much better than 2017 (even if 2017 was perfect, it can always be better 😉 ). Now I wish you great new year’s party. I hope you will enjoy it and stay safe.

I’ll see you in brand new 2018 year.

Daria

P.S. I will up date post after New Year with New Years cover photo 😉

Art of saying “No” (days eight to eleven)

Hi guys,

Today again after some break (I think it’s four days). And unfortunately now I have no choice, but change days when posts are going to be published. Instead of every day, posts are going to be published every Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday (except that yesterday it wasn’t any and one is today instead) and self-development’s book post is going to be published every Wednesday. All those changes, because I have been asked to work for two months, as my friend is going for holiday. So every evening plus full day every Sunday I am going to take her shift. Why? Because even if I knew I won’t have time for much alse, even if I was desperate to say “No”, I’ve said “Yes” instead.

So now after my regular job, I have four hours to be spent in restaurant as a waitress. It has been already one week since I am working like this and I can’t say it’s easy. It’s very hard actually.

To be honest on the beginning I was very upset, because by agreeing, I said “goodbye” to my free time. Now I am still upset, but the reason is different. Because of lack of time, I need to be very choosy, if it is about spending my time. I can’t do everything, so I needed to set priorities, what have been very hard for me since I remember (I’ve just wanted to do everything at the same time). But now, I have huge opportunity to practise this.

And any way, now, when I have only 2-4 hours every day, I can get skills, which are going to be very usefull in the future, when I’ll have much more of free time. This is the only think about it, which makes me happy.

I think increasing my free time (and how I am going to do this) is worthed to be mention as well. So as I’ve said before, working for twelve plus hours every day is extremely hard, but not impossible. So I’ve decided, that for next one year I’ll give it a chance. Well, a bit less, as in the end of September my uni starts. But any way, for whole this time, me and my husband (as he admited it is worth trying) are going to work a lot and save as much as we can, so after that, we can slow down without worrying about our finances and fully focus on our personal goals.

So this is a reason why posts are going to appear every second day. As except my two works, I am stil going to work on my personal stuff, so when I’ll be able to slow down, I won’t need to start everything from zero.

Ok, I have written a lot about what had happened and what is going to happen, but let’s talk about right subject of this post.

Art of saying “No”

So during this past week, I have been asking myself, why I have agreed fo all this. I could just say “No” and live like I have been living before. And to be honest, “No” was the most desired word I wanted to say, when my friend asked me for this favour. Well, I haven’t. Why? I was thinking, that I don’t want to make her life hard (if she wouldn’t find anyone to take her place, after coming back she would be without job).

And I think this is the reason, why a lot of us is doing things, we don’t realy want. We are trying to please everyone else, but ourselves. I’ve catched myself on doing this many times. Especially when I was much younger (well, now I’ve presented, that not too much had changed since that time). I have been doing some things to make others happy. Even if it wasn’t so exciting for me.

So this is my new goal: learn how to say no.

And I don’t mean, that I am not going to help anyone. It isn’t about it. But next time I am going to make sure first, that this is not going to be harmful for me. If I am not going to sacrifise something, what is very important to me, I will propably be very happy to help. I’ve realised, that after all, I need to care for myself, as there aren’t a lot of people who will do this if I won’t.

Ok, I think for today that’s all what I wanted to share (as this post is being produced in bus on my way back home). I will see you tomorrow in next post. But for now, I wish you productive day and ability to say “No”, when it’s neccessary.

Daria
PS. I’ve decided, that I will keep skipping daily summary and replace it with weekly one. In tomorrow’s post I am going to explain in details why, but to make it short: I’ve decided to focus on one thing each day. So if summary will contain only one thing, there is no point of having one.

Energy equals zero (days six and seven)

Hi guys,

Today’s post contains two days. This time nothing bad happen (fortunately, otherwise I would suspect, that I am magness for bad things). So let me explain what happened yesterday I’ve started coding my website, as I’ve decided I need to get some practice, not only theory. And it took me quite a lot of time (well, on the way I’ve came across some issues, my lessons haven’t cover so far and I’ve needed to search for some solutions online – thank God for internet!). And even if I’ve spend a lot of time on doing this, I gave my website look, I wished it will have.

Ok, but why there was no post? Well, I can’t say how long exactly I have been doing this (when last time I’ve checked my phone it was already five hours), as next thing I remember is lifting my head from my desk. Yeah, that happened at 7:30am. I falled asleep and don’t have any idea when. After realising what had happened, I needed to rush to work. Normaly I am leaving such a way, that when I arrive to work, I still have 15 minutes to start my job. Today I’ve arrived 1 minute before.

Ok, but was it worthed to spend at least five hours to get only home page ready? Because it’s going to be my first website, done without anyone’s help (except internet courses, of course), I think it was. I believe, that speed is going to come with some more practise.

Ok, but this is not what I wanted to talk about. Today, on my way to work, I’ve been thinking about this situation. And I think, this is unbelievable, how person can be so much into some activity, that is not able to see, how quickly time goes and how he or she is falling asleep. So I’ve made some characteristic of such activity (remember: I am not specialist, this is my opinion only). Here are some points with explanations:

  • It has to be connected with something, you are dreaming about – you need to be excited about it.

    Well, when I was starting, in my head I had picture of my website. Fact, that proccess of coding will make it become reality, that I would be able to type my website’s address and see it (every one is going to be able), made me so excited.

    Ok, on the begining I had no idea it will take so long and that I will fall asleep without any control, but I knew it won’t be easy. Any way, my excitation hasn’t alowed me to think about it.

    • You need to have something to check/prove to yourself

    In my case, I wanted to check, if all lessons I’ve done so far, will be enough to actualy design something what I want.

    Every small thing I’ve been doing yesterday cause some changes to my website: new colour, feature, or just shape. And every time I’ve refreshed my website, it looked better and better. And this assured me, that time spent on learning HTML and CSS, wasn’t wasted. Even if still I needed to find some solutions on the internet, I’ve done it on my own.

    • This activity need to be fun for you

    Ok, you might ask me now, how on the Earth sitting more than five hour in front of screen can be considered as fun?

    Well, for me it was. I had some time only for myself, I have been doing everything my way. And yes, I had a lot of fun. Not only that. I was looking forward to sit again and go to my own world – without any advises or suggestions – just me and my imagination.
    Well, I think, this is everything, what came into my mind. The only thing left is two days’ summary. So let’s move into it:
    Day’s sixth summary:

    Home page of my website (without content – I mean I have part of the content ready, but I haven’t implemented it to my code) – checked

    Chapter of book – checked

    Being active (finaly I wasn’t scared of wind causing harm to my eye and I’ve rode my bike) – checked

    Day’s sixth post – failed

    Plan for next day – failed
    Day’s seventh summary:

    Two last chapters of book + review – checked

    Being active – checked

    Implemetation of content to my website’s homepage – checked

    Today’s post – checked

    Plan for tomorrow – checked
    Ok, I think that’s everything for today. I wish you, that you’ll find something to do, what is going to help you to forget about whole world and as usually I wish you very productive day 😉 I’ll see you in tomorrow’s post.

    Daria

    Getting into routine (day five)

    Hi guys,

    Today has been very hard day. There were two shifts (to be honest one and a half), as my friend asked me to replace her in her work, while she is on holiday.

    So today again I am not going to share any thought with you. Only thing, which makes me happy is, that I am getting into routine of working. In between my two jobs I had four hours to spare at home. And what is great, it was very productive time. I haven’t have to force myself to do anything. Automaticaly I’ve started doing, point after point from my today’s plan (it was shorter than usualy, as I knew, that today I won’t have too much time).

    So please forgive me, but I am going to go straight to my summary:

    Two chapters of book – checked

    Next self-development book: started – checked

    My arabic revision – checked

    HTML&CSS lesson – checked

    Today’s post – checked

    Plan for tomorrow – checked
    At the moment I am going to sleep, as my eyes are closing without my permission. As always I wish you very productive day and I’ll see you in tomorrow’s post.

    Daria

    Struggling does pay of (day four)

    Hi guys,

    Here it is, day four. There is no fail so far. And there is no thought to do so even. So I am proud of myself.

    What is good, my eyes are getting used to work as well. They aren’t as good as they were before, but yesterday I was able to work for four hours with fifteen minutes break in between only. For me it’s huge progress.

    And today, I would like to talk about struggling. We all know, that there is nothing good in struggling. We are putting so much efford and instead of things going on smoother and easier, it is becoming harder and harder.

    But what is important? If we are only able to stand this tough time, we are going to be so proud, like never before. Just only because we managed. No matter what. And even if we’ll fail, but get up and start all over again, we are still going to fight and we won’t give up, we will achieve any way. We will get knowledge about our limits. So we’re going to know, how much we need to do, to become better version of ourselves. Well, if we won’t get to those limits, we can only guess. Isn’t it right?

    What I mean by: you won’t know, how long distance you can run, how long you can work, etc. if you will not get to the point, when you can’t.

    I remember in my gymnasium (just to explain, in Poland we graduate from gymnasium at the age of 15-16) a lot of girls got pregnant. It became some kind of fashion to have a child and a lot of my school mates were dreaming to catch occasion to have one. No matter how, or who will be father of their child. Well, they wouldn’t even care, if they know who is the father.

    Scaring? So try to imagine, that in my school were around two hundred girls, of wich sixty were pregnant or had their child already.

    What did our head teacher do? He gave to each girl one doll. It looked like normall doll, but it was crying every 15 minutes. Parents agreed, that they are not going to help us with it and every girl had to carry this doll everywhere. It was tiring. A lot of us was crying, that we don’t want child after one night of struggling with this doll (I needed three nights). After we had some speach delivered by our school psycologist.

    But what was the point. After this experience I knew, I can start work at night, as long as every three shifts I will have at least two days off. And this was what I did. Before I was worrying, whether I can manage or not (it was very important as my parents alowed me to work only if I am not going to fail even one day in school because of that. If I would, after I wouldn’t have any chance to work before I will turn 18).

    To be honest, I am not sure why I was thinking all day about limits, struggling and stuff like this, but I’ve decided to share it with you, guys. I hope you like it.

    Now, I am going to present my today’s summary:

    Five (or four) chapters of book – checked

    One HTML&CSS lesson – checked

    Revision before my tomorrow’s arabic lesson – checked

    Today’s post – checked

    Plan for tomorrow – checked
    Now I wish you good night and productive day.

    Daria
    PS. After around two maybe three hours self-development’s book post is going to appear, as at the moment I am in the car, coming back from my friend’s birthday party (that’s why today’s summary isn’t very impressive, as after work I was away and my HTML&CSS lesson I have done in the morning, rest had been done in a car).

    I hope you’re going to enjoy it. And see you in tomorrow’s post.

    18th and 19th day: what did they teach you?

    Hi guys,

    It’s next day (or to be more precised two days) when I was in work. Well, after my short break, while I was in Poland, I haven’t even realised how much I missed it. I complain a lot about it (you know: work too hard, people too anoying and stuff like this), but only few days off made me long for coming back.

    And those two days were very hard, as our muslim part of team is more and more tired. But already half of ramadan is done, so soon everything is going to come back to norm.

    Yesterday I’ve slept quite a lot. To be honest I don’t know why. Normally around 4-5 hours of good sleep is doing it’s job. But yesterday I felt asleep, before my neighbours came (any way I wouldn’t have bother them late). It looks like you have to forgive me two days in one post for some time. Let’s hope, at least this much I’ll be able to do. And of course book on Sunday 😉

    Ok, but let’s go to my today’s post (excuses are done for today 😉 ). Last post was quite depresive, so I’ve decided, to write about something more positive today 😉 and what (or who) I want to talk about today are our teachers. But not those, we remember from our schools, more or less capable to do their work, but about our life teachers. People who showed us, how this world works, what is right and what is wrong and who influenced us the most, so now we are who we are. Do you know who I am talking about? Of course our parents (or other people who took care of us when we were children).

    Why I want to talk about this? Because today in work one of my work mates was complaining a lot. He was saying that it’s too hot, too much work and stuff like this, while he was just sitting and doing nothing at the same time (well, except superwising others how to do his job properly). Everything has started to boil inside of me, as one of the worst things for me is using others to get your job done, without even trying to do it on your own. And what is even worse: taking money for that. But don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind if someone asks for help, but help, according to my knowledge, means you are doing and someone is giving you hand, because you can’t manage or just to get work done quicker. Deffinitely not when someone is working and you are busy with your phone.

    So I’ve just told him, that he is behaving very bad and showing disrespect to all of us, working there. And he told me one sentence:

    “This is what your parents tought you?” (When I’ve told him, that he is very spoiled person and he should do his work, as he isn’t old or sick – only one year older than me)

    Well, the answer is yes. This is what my parents were trying to teach me for whole my childhood. That you have to know how to work hard and you have to always respect other people and their work. According to my work mate, my parents made huge mistake, when they were bringing me up, as they shouldn’t have let me tell everything what I thing, if I am not asked (well, to be honest I haven’t say everything, what I wanted. Lucky him).

    So here is my question: as a parents, shall we teach children to tell their opinion? Or shall we just warn them to keep quiet, if there is something wrong happening around?

    I’ve been thinking about this for long time and what I think is, that we should teach younger one to react. As this might help others (who can’t face people and do whatever they are asked to).

    Nowadays, very often there are bad things happening around us. Starting from school: children being bullied, and crowds of viewers (or worse, camera operators), and finishing on streets where someone is being robbed and so many people around pretend not to see.

    It happened to my dad one day and what I’ve heard from him, I wouldn’t wish even to the worse enemy of mine. But what was really sad, after this incident, unable to move (because of his ankle completely dislocated), whithout phone (has been stolen during robbery) he was asking people for help. Just simple call for police or ambulance. And no respond. After two hours of crawling in mud, one women stopped and helped him. Only one out of many, many passing by. The only one who knew, that you need to react. And she hadn’t only called. She stayed with my dad (even if she must have been scared, as it was night already) till police came and after came to me to inform about my dad’s accident.

    My dad was lucky. At least this only one women, who possibly saved his life (I suppose staying all night in rainy weather wouldn’t be the savest thing to do). And there are a lot of people who are not so lucky. Who are getting frozen, because they’ve just had stroke or heart attack and people took them as drunk and went away. Or so many being beaten in front of crowd pretending to be blind.

    So yes, we should teach our children to react. In safe for them way, but react (if you are afraid or simply can’t help, at least call police or ambulance. This is going to help a lot). Simple thing, but can safe someone’s life.

    Ok, and this was conclusion. So I will carry on with my summaries 😉 today two in one as both of those days were very similar:

    Being active – checked

    Arabic practise – checked

    CSS lesson – checked

    Second motivational book: chapter with notes each day – checked

    Chapter of book – checked

    Plan for next day – checked

    And today’s post (only for today) – checked
    For today I wish you a productive day and courage to help others. And if your parents (or whoever else tought you this, be very gratefull for them. Well, you should be gratefull for parents any way 😉 ).

    I am heading to bed now (after saying “thank you” to my neighbours of course). And I see you in next post.

    Daria

    16th day and 17th: and again?

    Hi guys,

    Next two days and another fail. Completely out of control. On Saturday night, there were another terrorist incidents. The worse thing if you are alone at home and you know that your relatives are somewhere in the city. You are trying to call them, but no signal. Well, you are not the only one trying. Network is not able to manage this.

    And this is what I’ve done. I’ve been sitting at home and running out of my mind. I was worrying if my dad is going to come, if my husband is safe on his way back from work. And most of all: trying to call them.

    Fortunatelly they came. It has taken longer as city centre was paralised. They were lucky. But I’ve started thinking about other people. Those who’s family members or friends weren’t so lucky. Who were waiting same as I was, but they haven’t heard sound of the key in the door. They couldn’t hug their family members. They’ve recieved bad news instead.

    Mostly we are thinking: “Well, it’s sad. I feel sorry for them, but it doesn’t boder me. My family was home”. But what we don’t realise, next time it might meet us or our parents, children, brothers, sister or friends. Or us. We can’t be sure for tomorrow at all. We can’t even predict, if we’ll come back from simple grocery shopping. Maybe it’ll be our last yourney?

    And here huge problem comes for those of us, who will do this realisation. Because no matter what is going to happen, we need to carry on like everything is ok. Like we are going to live for ever.

    Someone told: “Work like you are going to live for ever, live like you are going to die tomorrow”. I can’t remember now, who’s words are they (not mine for sure 😉 ). But this is exactly what we need to do. We are working most of the time, to make sure we can have better future or at least survive.  And we are doing this, even though we have no idea who of us is going to be alive.

    All of this freezed me for a while. We are living in such dangerous time, so we are thinking about this (at least I do). But to be honest, even if we would live any time before or after all those attacks, we wouldn’t be sure as well. What is my conclusion? Life is unpredictible. Any time accidents happen, people are getting sick and we can never be sure, when is our last day going to be. We never know, if person who is just living to work or going for holiday is going to come back. But any way, life is worth living, worth fighting for better future and most important: worth being a good person.

    Very often people are arguing about so silly thigs. They are hurting each other. I am doing this as well, mostly unintentionally. Or I am just getting upset with my husband or father, because they dared to breathe (I am not getting upset for breathing, but similarly “huge” deals 😉 ). But this is what it is. If something is going to happen to anyone, try and make sure, you are not having any bad emotions towards this person. For instance I was so glad yesterday, that all of us have left home happy, talking to each other and just being happy. Otherwise all this would be even bigger nightmare. This knowledge, that any of them might not come back and last memory would be huge fight. After all, they are some of the closest people to me. And I think, live is too short for fights. Especially if there is no real reason to argue. But even if there is, we should try and sort it out calmly. To make sure, there will not be any words said, we are going to regret after.

    Changing subject, just a little bit, today in work I’ve been talking to one of my mates. He said:

    “Daria, I haven’t belive you, when you’ve told me those terrorist aren’t muslims. Now I do.”

    “What made you change your mind?” 

    “Well, when they’ve been doing all those things any time, with ‘Allahu akbar’ on their lips, I was sure they are muslims. But if they do this in ramadan… even I know, it’s one of the biggest sins for muslims”.

    I’ve shared this conversation just to make you understand, that by calling all muslims terrorists, people are very unfair. They are hurting all REAL muslims, who are good people, always ready to help.

    Dou you know, what came to my head. Another quote, I will not bring it exactly, but the meaning is: if you want to win with any country, first damage it from inside. Strong citizens, who can work together are harder enemies, than those who are enemies for each other.

    In my opinion, this is what they are trying to do. Make all of us be enemies to each other. And what is sad, they are achieving their goal. And now, it’s up to us: are we going to be strong societies, who will fight real enemies together, or are we going to destroy our countries on our own, by fighting each other instead and doing job for them?

    Finishing all my thoughts, I am going to move to my two days summaries.

    16th’s day summary:

    Chapter of book – checked

    Arabic practise – checked

    Small project in HTML + CSS (started) – checked

    Plan for next day – checked

    Being active – checked

    17th’s day summary:

    Chapter of book – checked

    Project HTML + CSS (finished)- checked

    Being active – checked

    Arabic lesson – checked

    Chapter of next motivational book – checked

    Plan for tomorrow – checked

    Two day’s post – checked
    And for today I wish you very productive day and a lot of appreciation to people who are always with you and who won’t leave you no matter what. Do all the best, that time you are spending together will be quality time, not world war.

    For now I am going to sleep. I’ll see you in tomorrow’s post

    Daria
    P.S. Unfortunatelly my internet still doesn’t work. Router had been changed, but it looks like this wasn’t the case. But my neighbours let me use their wi-fi to keep publishing my posts so any time, they are home in the evening I’ll be able to share my thoughts and everything what had been done. I hope my internet will be sorted once for good soon 😉

    And post with book will appear on next Sunday. I will do all my best to publish them every Sunday, instead of every second one. But I’ve decided to keep Sunday as a day, when they are going to see daylight (another polish saying 😉 ). I hope you’ll forgive me this delay.

    15th day: voices in my head…

    Hi guys,

    Next day is almost finished (actually is already finished, as my clock is showing 3 am, when I am starting this post) and so many things – mostly good – happen. I was thinking to share them with you, but after I’ve decided, that this post would be too long and well… just useless for you (what kind of value it will bring to your life, if you know what I have been doing all day?). Instead, I am going to talk about something, what can happen to every one (and propably to many of you actually does).

    What I am going to talk about, are voices in my head. Well, it sounds weird and some of you (if not all) might think, that I am simply mad. But I don’t mean those kind of voices 😉

    Let me try to explain: imagine, you have some idea in your head. You mind was just empty and out of a sudden it was there. You are thinking it through and as more you are thinking, you are geting more and more sure, that this is brilliant idea!

    Straight away you sit to make a plan, write everything what needs to be done, you are just ready to start. Feeling, that you were born to do this becomes your company. Huge, huge motivation to do some action stay shoulder by shoulder with you. First steps are done. And… here they are. Voices in your head saying: “man, what are you doing? You are going to fail, any way. Don’t waste your time!”.

    Ok, you are just trying to ignore it. But no: “Do you know, how people will react? They will laugh. And not only that, they will look at you like they look at losers. Do you want that?”.

    And you motivation disappears. You are starting to work less and less. Finally you give up completely. You brilliant idea seems not to be so brilliant any more.

    Where are those voices coming from? Who put them there? Answer is very simple: you. You are the one, who is feeding them, who let them be more powerfull, than they actually are. But what is the worse? You are the one, who let them win. Over and over again.

    So let’s look at our voices a bit closer. What they are?

    Long time ago, I’ve red that everyone have his/her comfort zone (I don’t remember where I’ve red, but definetely it was in one of the books). Some environment, routine… Something what is with us every day. We can repeat it with closed eyes. And any try to move outside our comfort zone is making us feel fearfull (outside something new and unknown is waiting for us… who knows, maybe monster? 😉 ).

    But on the other hand, if we’ll not leave our confort zone, we are not going to get anywhere further. Our life will never change.

    So how can we fight with voices in our head? Here are some of my suggestion.

    The worst thing, which can happen

    This is what I am doing every time. I am making list of consequences in case of failure. And guess what? I’ve never had any monster on my list 😉

    Actually when we write them, we can see, they are not so scaring like they seem to. We can just realise, that well.. nothing wrong can happen, everyone is going to stay alive 😉

    And what is the other advantage of this list? Something what is completely unknown for us, is becoming something more transparent. We just feel more comfortable with it.

    Make list of good things

    Well, if we connect this method with previous one, we are getting clear picture of what might happen if we carry on with our activities. We can actually compare, the worst and the best scenarios. And believe me, mostly we have more to win, than to lose 😉

    Is it a real problem?

    If those two methods haven’t work, come back to your the worst scenario list and check every position again. And decide, whether this is real or imagined problem. For example, let’s say, you had written: “People are going to think, that I am a loser”. So thing, who are you going to do it for? For people? Does it really matter to you, what others think? And finally: is it going to harm you? Well, not really…

    In my case, most of my problems are just imagined. They just don’t matter. And when I realise that, my voices are leaving me alone, my motivation is coming back again.

    Sometimes, they are trying to come back. To sneak into my head, like I’ve never threw them out before. Sometimes, they even try to pretend, that they are saying what I really thing. They are coming, when my work doesn’t bring results I wish it would. But that time I am just thinking, that I can cope with them. I won before, why not again? And it’s became even easier since I’ve learnt how to work for myself. Not for any one else. Not for financial benefits. Just for the time spent on doing stuff I love. And do you know what? Now my voices became shy. Maybe they know, that for everything they’ll say, I am going to answer: “So what? I am having fun now, without you. Just go away!”. I’m not sure, but it really works 😉
    I hope it will be helpfull for at least some of you. It’s nothing complicated and if you think deeper about it, you already knew it before. You just needed someone from outside your head, to say it loud 😉

    Any way, let’s move to today’s summary:

    Chapter of book – checked 😉

    CSS lesson – checked 🙂

    Being active – checked 🙂

    Arabic homework – checked 🙂

    Today’s post – checked 🙂

    Plan for tomorrow – checked 🙂

    And for now I am going to bed, as it’s already 4:20 am in London. I wish you very productive day and only won battles in this hard war with your own voices 😉 and if you have any other ways to fight with them, you are very welcome to share it in the comment section.

    Mean time I see you in tomorrow’s post.

    Daria

    14th: are adults able to see the world the way children do?

    Hi guys,

    Here we are. 14th day, exactly two weeks. Unbelievable! It went so fast and I feel like I’ve done more during this time, than I have done any time before. How one simple thing, like setting up blog, can change the entire way of seeing work. Like magic, it has transfered my stuff to do into fun. I don’t even try to look for excuses any more (ok, except yesterday, but yesterday I’ve deserved some break, haven’t I?).

    Any way, today I went to do some grocery shopping and I was just walking along the aisles without any deeper thoughts, when I saw (or heard, to be precized) around four-years-old boy shouting to his mum. He wants cookies. And his mum trying to explain him, that they can’t afford for it now, as she doesn’t have enough money with her. “Use your card!” he came with an idea almost straight away. Mom haven’t say anything else. Maybe she didn’t want to have show in supermarket with her son as a star, or maybe his explanation worked. Any way she just took cookies for him.

    Why I am talking about this? This situation made my brain start working. My memories came to me. I don’t have my own children yet, but a lot of my cousins have and when I was living in Poland, very often they were asking me to look after their little ones. And I loved it! Not because I had an excuse to go to playground and play, without people looking at me like I’ve gotten mad (of course I’ve been doing it as well 😉 ), but because of deep conversation I used to have with my nephews and nieces. They blew my mind!

    I remember one day, when we came back from walk with my five-years-old (that time) nephew. My cousin left him to me and his clothes were all in mud (he had great idea to roll down from hill. It was after rain). I said to him: “When your mum will see you, she’ll be very upset”. His answer was: “Don’t worry, Daria. You can wash them, just ask her to bring other clothes for me, so those will be for next time, when I’ll come. I am child, so I can get dirty even when I am eating. She should have known this by now.” Simple like that.

    Why this blew my mind? Because children don’t care for not important things (of course they have their small problems, like someone forcing them to eat vegetables and small dilemmas like which toy to play now). They are just enjoying every moment. While adults are wondering, what people are going to say, children are thinking: “How much fun I am going to have, if I’ll do this or that?”. Isn’t it amazing?

    And what ability children have, but a lot of adults is missing? They have imagination. And they don’t have anything in their mind, what would stop them to meke use of it.

    I remember when I was drawing with one of my nieces. She drew red grass. I said (of course politely) that I think grass is green. She said, that in her picture is red, because tree is going to be green, so it would be too much green colour on her picture.

    No matter how you think, she was right. And second thing is, it was her picture, so what’s wrong if her grass is red? She likes it.

    Another great think, they don’t care what people do. They want red grass, they just make it red. No wondering, what will people say about it. Important is, what they want. No rules, no boarder. Just pure imagination.

    And most of adults are doing, what I have done by saying abot green grass. They are killing childrens imagination. Something, what they’ve lost on their own (maybe same way). How many times we hear mother or father reprymending their child: “don’t do this, your clothes will be dirty” or “don’t run too fast, you’ll fall down”. When I think now, my parents never told me “don’t climb this tree” (of course when I was getting too high, they asked me to get little lower). I have fallen many times, my arms and legs were covered with scabs and bruises, but I was getting up and till now, I am still alive 😉 And to be honest I don’t remember any pain after falling, but what I remember is, that I’ve always had a lot of fun. By now, this was the best time in my life. 

    And when I see situation, when mother is saying to her child not to get dirty, I feel sorry for this child (I don’t blame mother, as I don’t know, maybe her child has some health problems and it dangerous for him, but still I feel sorry). I feel sorry for all children, who are alowed to play all day on computers, smartphones, watch TV, etc. and are not encouraged to go out and play with other children. I feel sorry, if they don’t know how to ride bike, they don’t play football or generally have fun outside, because they may fall down and get bruises. I am just wondering, how they are going to cope with failures in the future, if they will not learn that now? How they are going to be prepared for beeing adult, if they will not have chance, to find out, how to be a child? And what is the most important: how they will know, how to talk to people, if in childhood the only company for them were electeonic gadgets? So basic skills, which I had learned in childhood (and I think most of us, if we were born before computers became the only activity) will be missing in their life. They’ll have to catch up.

    When I visited my friend, who was punishing her son for something and punishment was that he had to stop playing his xbox for one hour (he had to go out instead) and his screaming because of thit, made me feel so depressed. Me and my brothers were begging our parents to ask us to clean all house, if we only could go for one hour out after. It was worthed for us. Being grounded was the worse punishment (I remember one time I even told to my dad, that I prefer he hit me instead of leaving me at home 😀 ).

    And don’t get me wrong, we’ve made a lot of mistakes in our childhood. There were a lot of broken windows, broken bikes and hurt children, but we had chance to learn, how to take responsibility for our actions (yes, we had to work for every window, or earn for new bikes, mainly by doing extra chordes at home. When we broke our friend’s leg or arm, we had to help looking after him, and so on). But still I think, we were prepared better to start adult life, than new generations are going to be. We are not requiring anything what we do not deserve, we are not taking anything for granted (ok, most of us doesn’t), we are working hard, for everything we have (no matter if it is rented room or huge owned home, but we’ve got it, because we know, how to work).

    Our parents weren’t overprotective and we are still alive. They’ve put in our heads what is right and what is wrong. Of course, they were controling us, when we were going to far with our ideas (can you belive, that when I was five or six I wanted to do bungee jump? But from fourth floor and with laundy string tighed to my leg 😉 my parents stoped me and explain why it wasn’t very best idea 🙂 ). But they let us make our mistakes, so we could feel on our own skin, what consequences we might meet after doing certain things.

    And that’s it for my memories and thoughts. I don’t think all parents are overprotective nowadays. And that times changed, but please, at least sometimes control your children from far, let them fall down and get up. And don’t only reprend them. Remember, one day they are going to grow up and if the only memories with their parents will be shouting, do you thing, they are going to come to you with real problems? Or if you were in their shoes, would you? Just little thing to think about.
    And now I am going to my summary 😉 :

    Arabic lesson – checked 🙂

    Tree CSS lessons – checked 🙂

    Five chapters of book – checked 🙂

    Sunday post – checked 🙂

    Plan for tomorrow – checked 🙂

    Today’s post – checked 🙂
    For now I wish you productive day and some ability to see world the way children do (at least sometimes 😉 ).

    Daria