Happy New Year! And 2018 resolutions :)

Hi guys,

As this end of the year was just crazy, full of unexpected events, guests and many, many beautifull moments, I’ve decided to take break (well, not first time, any way). People, who I haven’t seen for ages came to share this special time with me. Huge surprise, but how amazing at the same time!

Any way, today, while everyone is getting ready for New Year’s party, I’ve decided to use this time to write something for you, guys. First of all: Happy 2018 Year! I wish all your dreams will come true this year and I hope that this 2017 year, we are saying goodbye to, left some great memories in your hearts.

Tomorrow, we are going to start with new, blank page to write on. When I was a child, I liked to think about new year like this. Everything what have been good in all years was kept in memory, but all bad things have been forgotten. That time I was writting in my journal. Everything what happened each day, used to be documented. And by everything, I mean everything. I went to school – in my journal; I ate chocolate bar for snack – in my journal; even I thought at some point of the day, that it would be nice if it were snowing – guess what? – I can read it now, in my journal 😀 So unexpected, isn’t it 😀

I’ve lost my point: every year I used to buy new notebook to write in, so for me new year really meant a new blank page (or better notebook). Every 1st of January, when I used to sit behind my desk to tell about everything what happened, there was nothing to come back to. No bad bad things, only good things in my memory. Believe me, amazing feeling!

Nowadays I don’t have journal (well, I have my bullet journal, but let’s be honest: I use it more as a planner, than a place where I can just write every single detail of my day), but I found my old ones. And in the begining of each of them, there is some short summary of my previous year’s resolutions and new year’s resolutions. Every year very ambitious (like for a child), but what is most important, at the end of almost every year, they were just done. In all of my summaries it was written: this was something I wanted to do in the beginning of 2000 year and I’ve done it in this month. Unbelievable!

A the moment, I still do my resolution list, but let’s be honest, by the end of the year I don’t even have an idea, where this list is gone. So today, I am going to share with you some goals for 2018 year (I have another, bit bigger list in my bullet journal, but forgive me leaving my personal goals in secret 😉 ).

2018 resolution list:

  • Keep my schedule of blog posts

As you might remember, I introduced my schedule some time ago and so far following it was just a fail. Huge fail! So at the end of the year I want to be able to say: Hey, for the whole year I kept publishing my posts ON TIME!”.

  • Bring projects from my head into the reality

You might know about some of those projects, as I wrote about them in my very first post. By now, I have few new one, being ideas in my head. Some of them where supposed to be ready by now… well.. This year, I want to work seriously hard and handle maximum two big projects at the time. And what really important, I want to have plan: my projects divided into small tasks with deadlines. Hopefully, before 2018 will end, you will already know, that some of them are actually done.

  • Start doing my university assignments when they are posted, not week before deadline

Yep, even if I know, that something will take a lot of time, I procrastinate it a lot, so when I am starting, I have only little time to finish it (be honest, not as well as I wish to) and only if I will not sleep for at least two or three nights providing my organism with huge ammount of coffee. Well, this new year I want to change it.

  • Last, but not least is to be more consistent

This is the harder one for me. I like to start a lot of different things, but quite quickly I am giving up. Even before I am able to judge, whether this particular activity is right for me or not. This was always a big challenge for me, but since this year, I want to make sure, that whatever I will start doing, I will do it consistently for at least half year.

And those are all my resolutions I want to share. There are some more, but as I said before, they are very personal.

So again, I wish you a happy New Year. I hope it will be much better than 2017 (even if 2017 was perfect, it can always be better 😉 ). Now I wish you great new year’s party. I hope you will enjoy it and stay safe.

I’ll see you in brand new 2018 year.

Daria

P.S. I will up date post after New Year with New Years cover photo 😉

Changes, changes and again: changes all around us!

Hi guys,

Well, it’s me again. After long, long time of absence. But I went for unplanned holiday. I intended to keep publishing, but after not seeing my family for more than half year, I wanted to spend as much time as I possibly can with them. And this is what I did.

As you may know, I have been having some health problems recently and this made me to go for holiday. I had to stop working for some time, so I can recover properly and who knows better place to recover than home you were growing in?

Now I am still back in my home, where there are so many great memories round every corner. All games, we were playing with my brothers, all conversations we had with our parents. Everything what have been making me happy, every struggle I needed to face… All this came to me.

But even if there is so many things, which hasn’t changed since I was a child, there is a lot of things I can’t reconize. Buildings in my home town have been renovated, there are many new ones as well. Some shopes I use to go before, don’t exist any more, but they are many more open instead. And finally people. Children I used to play with in past, aren’t children any more. They are adults now. Some of them have their own children already and everything what have left are our memories.

When we are staying in one place, we don’t see how many changes are taking place in our surrounding. We are meeting our family members and friends on daily basis, so we can’t record how different they are becoming. Our surrounding is changing as well, but all those changes are happening one by one and we are just getting used to them. They are becoming something, what we see every day. And we can’t even realise, when an old place have been changed and replaced by the new one.

Those changes are happening all the time. Not only in places where we used to live or where we are living currently. They are taking place all around the word. Let’s take technology for instance. Even if you were born in 90’s, when you were growing up, you propably haven’t got even simple cell phone. And children who were born just ten years after you, have smartphones (well, at least a lot of them do). When you have been spending hours and hours in library, just to find some information for your homework, they have everything at home (well, uncle google does know everything, doesn’t he?). Ok, when I was going to school, I could only dream to have at least computer without internet connection.

And what about medicine? Before, if you were born without leg, for example or you have loose some in the accident, you had to learn how to survive without it. At the moment, you can have a brand new robot one. That just amazing. Nowadays almost everything seem possible. Just imagine, than not so long ago people could only dream about flying. At the moment, any time you need or just want, you can book a ticket and plane is going to take you wherever you want. Simple like that…

You might be wondering, why I am talking so much about changes. Everyone knows, they are all around us, we don’t need to be super-perceptive to see that. But in my opinion very often we can’t realize, how quickly all those changes are going. We can easily say: with rocket’s speed. And this is amazing, but a bit scaring at the same time. Because how can we be sure, that tomorrow some invention will not get out of control?

But the biggest concern of mine is, that a lot of this changes seem to make us, human-beings less human-alike. People prefer to record someone’s accident, to upload it on youtube or anywhere else, instead of simply help. There is a lot of people (and what is more worrying: children as well), who can damage their health in various types of challenges, just to get new subscribers or likes and, what is much worse, there is a lot of people, who can ruin someone’s else life, for the same reasons.

Ok, but as an optimist, I need to belive, that people will still be people, who can enjoy all those changes wisely and use them to make our world a better place for everyone. And with this I am going to finish this post. I wish a very productive day to all of you (or if you are on holiday like me, I wish you to have a lot of relax, so you can face your normal schedule with smile on your face).

I see you in my next post

Daria

P.S. As I was talking about changes everywhere around us, I need to tell you about one change in my attitude, which is highly connected with this post. What I have realised while being in my mum’s home is, that I’ve started seeing this blog, as some kind of commitment (well, it is some kind of commitment, but in my case it was in very negative way). My own website became for me something, what I HAVE to do, instead of what I WANT to do. No matter what, no matter how I have to produce something. While, in my opinion, it should be nothing more, but fun. So I’ve decided not writting about what have been done, even if this was main purpose of this website. But simply write random things I’ve been thinking about or I’ve red recently. And just have fun about it. But to keep this blog as “My motivation” blog, I will be simply updating you as soon as any of my big projects will be finished, or when any new will come on sight.

I hope you will enjoy it as well 🙂

Art of saying “No” (days eight to eleven)

Hi guys,

Today again after some break (I think it’s four days). And unfortunately now I have no choice, but change days when posts are going to be published. Instead of every day, posts are going to be published every Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday (except that yesterday it wasn’t any and one is today instead) and self-development’s book post is going to be published every Wednesday. All those changes, because I have been asked to work for two months, as my friend is going for holiday. So every evening plus full day every Sunday I am going to take her shift. Why? Because even if I knew I won’t have time for much alse, even if I was desperate to say “No”, I’ve said “Yes” instead.

So now after my regular job, I have four hours to be spent in restaurant as a waitress. It has been already one week since I am working like this and I can’t say it’s easy. It’s very hard actually.

To be honest on the beginning I was very upset, because by agreeing, I said “goodbye” to my free time. Now I am still upset, but the reason is different. Because of lack of time, I need to be very choosy, if it is about spending my time. I can’t do everything, so I needed to set priorities, what have been very hard for me since I remember (I’ve just wanted to do everything at the same time). But now, I have huge opportunity to practise this.

And any way, now, when I have only 2-4 hours every day, I can get skills, which are going to be very usefull in the future, when I’ll have much more of free time. This is the only think about it, which makes me happy.

I think increasing my free time (and how I am going to do this) is worthed to be mention as well. So as I’ve said before, working for twelve plus hours every day is extremely hard, but not impossible. So I’ve decided, that for next one year I’ll give it a chance. Well, a bit less, as in the end of September my uni starts. But any way, for whole this time, me and my husband (as he admited it is worth trying) are going to work a lot and save as much as we can, so after that, we can slow down without worrying about our finances and fully focus on our personal goals.

So this is a reason why posts are going to appear every second day. As except my two works, I am stil going to work on my personal stuff, so when I’ll be able to slow down, I won’t need to start everything from zero.

Ok, I have written a lot about what had happened and what is going to happen, but let’s talk about right subject of this post.

Art of saying “No”

So during this past week, I have been asking myself, why I have agreed fo all this. I could just say “No” and live like I have been living before. And to be honest, “No” was the most desired word I wanted to say, when my friend asked me for this favour. Well, I haven’t. Why? I was thinking, that I don’t want to make her life hard (if she wouldn’t find anyone to take her place, after coming back she would be without job).

And I think this is the reason, why a lot of us is doing things, we don’t realy want. We are trying to please everyone else, but ourselves. I’ve catched myself on doing this many times. Especially when I was much younger (well, now I’ve presented, that not too much had changed since that time). I have been doing some things to make others happy. Even if it wasn’t so exciting for me.

So this is my new goal: learn how to say no.

And I don’t mean, that I am not going to help anyone. It isn’t about it. But next time I am going to make sure first, that this is not going to be harmful for me. If I am not going to sacrifise something, what is very important to me, I will propably be very happy to help. I’ve realised, that after all, I need to care for myself, as there aren’t a lot of people who will do this if I won’t.

Ok, I think for today that’s all what I wanted to share (as this post is being produced in bus on my way back home). I will see you tomorrow in next post. But for now, I wish you productive day and ability to say “No”, when it’s neccessary.

Daria
PS. I’ve decided, that I will keep skipping daily summary and replace it with weekly one. In tomorrow’s post I am going to explain in details why, but to make it short: I’ve decided to focus on one thing each day. So if summary will contain only one thing, there is no point of having one.

Getting into routine (day five)

Hi guys,

Today has been very hard day. There were two shifts (to be honest one and a half), as my friend asked me to replace her in her work, while she is on holiday.

So today again I am not going to share any thought with you. Only thing, which makes me happy is, that I am getting into routine of working. In between my two jobs I had four hours to spare at home. And what is great, it was very productive time. I haven’t have to force myself to do anything. Automaticaly I’ve started doing, point after point from my today’s plan (it was shorter than usualy, as I knew, that today I won’t have too much time).

So please forgive me, but I am going to go straight to my summary:

Two chapters of book – checked

Next self-development book: started – checked

My arabic revision – checked

HTML&CSS lesson – checked

Today’s post – checked

Plan for tomorrow – checked
At the moment I am going to sleep, as my eyes are closing without my permission. As always I wish you very productive day and I’ll see you in tomorrow’s post.

Daria

Struggling does pay of (day four)

Hi guys,

Here it is, day four. There is no fail so far. And there is no thought to do so even. So I am proud of myself.

What is good, my eyes are getting used to work as well. They aren’t as good as they were before, but yesterday I was able to work for four hours with fifteen minutes break in between only. For me it’s huge progress.

And today, I would like to talk about struggling. We all know, that there is nothing good in struggling. We are putting so much efford and instead of things going on smoother and easier, it is becoming harder and harder.

But what is important? If we are only able to stand this tough time, we are going to be so proud, like never before. Just only because we managed. No matter what. And even if we’ll fail, but get up and start all over again, we are still going to fight and we won’t give up, we will achieve any way. We will get knowledge about our limits. So we’re going to know, how much we need to do, to become better version of ourselves. Well, if we won’t get to those limits, we can only guess. Isn’t it right?

What I mean by: you won’t know, how long distance you can run, how long you can work, etc. if you will not get to the point, when you can’t.

I remember in my gymnasium (just to explain, in Poland we graduate from gymnasium at the age of 15-16) a lot of girls got pregnant. It became some kind of fashion to have a child and a lot of my school mates were dreaming to catch occasion to have one. No matter how, or who will be father of their child. Well, they wouldn’t even care, if they know who is the father.

Scaring? So try to imagine, that in my school were around two hundred girls, of wich sixty were pregnant or had their child already.

What did our head teacher do? He gave to each girl one doll. It looked like normall doll, but it was crying every 15 minutes. Parents agreed, that they are not going to help us with it and every girl had to carry this doll everywhere. It was tiring. A lot of us was crying, that we don’t want child after one night of struggling with this doll (I needed three nights). After we had some speach delivered by our school psycologist.

But what was the point. After this experience I knew, I can start work at night, as long as every three shifts I will have at least two days off. And this was what I did. Before I was worrying, whether I can manage or not (it was very important as my parents alowed me to work only if I am not going to fail even one day in school because of that. If I would, after I wouldn’t have any chance to work before I will turn 18).

To be honest, I am not sure why I was thinking all day about limits, struggling and stuff like this, but I’ve decided to share it with you, guys. I hope you like it.

Now, I am going to present my today’s summary:

Five (or four) chapters of book – checked

One HTML&CSS lesson – checked

Revision before my tomorrow’s arabic lesson – checked

Today’s post – checked

Plan for tomorrow – checked
Now I wish you good night and productive day.

Daria
PS. After around two maybe three hours self-development’s book post is going to appear, as at the moment I am in the car, coming back from my friend’s birthday party (that’s why today’s summary isn’t very impressive, as after work I was away and my HTML&CSS lesson I have done in the morning, rest had been done in a car).

I hope you’re going to enjoy it. And see you in tomorrow’s post.

18th and 19th day: what did they teach you?

Hi guys,

It’s next day (or to be more precised two days) when I was in work. Well, after my short break, while I was in Poland, I haven’t even realised how much I missed it. I complain a lot about it (you know: work too hard, people too anoying and stuff like this), but only few days off made me long for coming back.

And those two days were very hard, as our muslim part of team is more and more tired. But already half of ramadan is done, so soon everything is going to come back to norm.

Yesterday I’ve slept quite a lot. To be honest I don’t know why. Normally around 4-5 hours of good sleep is doing it’s job. But yesterday I felt asleep, before my neighbours came (any way I wouldn’t have bother them late). It looks like you have to forgive me two days in one post for some time. Let’s hope, at least this much I’ll be able to do. And of course book on Sunday 😉

Ok, but let’s go to my today’s post (excuses are done for today 😉 ). Last post was quite depresive, so I’ve decided, to write about something more positive today 😉 and what (or who) I want to talk about today are our teachers. But not those, we remember from our schools, more or less capable to do their work, but about our life teachers. People who showed us, how this world works, what is right and what is wrong and who influenced us the most, so now we are who we are. Do you know who I am talking about? Of course our parents (or other people who took care of us when we were children).

Why I want to talk about this? Because today in work one of my work mates was complaining a lot. He was saying that it’s too hot, too much work and stuff like this, while he was just sitting and doing nothing at the same time (well, except superwising others how to do his job properly). Everything has started to boil inside of me, as one of the worst things for me is using others to get your job done, without even trying to do it on your own. And what is even worse: taking money for that. But don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind if someone asks for help, but help, according to my knowledge, means you are doing and someone is giving you hand, because you can’t manage or just to get work done quicker. Deffinitely not when someone is working and you are busy with your phone.

So I’ve just told him, that he is behaving very bad and showing disrespect to all of us, working there. And he told me one sentence:

“This is what your parents tought you?” (When I’ve told him, that he is very spoiled person and he should do his work, as he isn’t old or sick – only one year older than me)

Well, the answer is yes. This is what my parents were trying to teach me for whole my childhood. That you have to know how to work hard and you have to always respect other people and their work. According to my work mate, my parents made huge mistake, when they were bringing me up, as they shouldn’t have let me tell everything what I thing, if I am not asked (well, to be honest I haven’t say everything, what I wanted. Lucky him).

So here is my question: as a parents, shall we teach children to tell their opinion? Or shall we just warn them to keep quiet, if there is something wrong happening around?

I’ve been thinking about this for long time and what I think is, that we should teach younger one to react. As this might help others (who can’t face people and do whatever they are asked to).

Nowadays, very often there are bad things happening around us. Starting from school: children being bullied, and crowds of viewers (or worse, camera operators), and finishing on streets where someone is being robbed and so many people around pretend not to see.

It happened to my dad one day and what I’ve heard from him, I wouldn’t wish even to the worse enemy of mine. But what was really sad, after this incident, unable to move (because of his ankle completely dislocated), whithout phone (has been stolen during robbery) he was asking people for help. Just simple call for police or ambulance. And no respond. After two hours of crawling in mud, one women stopped and helped him. Only one out of many, many passing by. The only one who knew, that you need to react. And she hadn’t only called. She stayed with my dad (even if she must have been scared, as it was night already) till police came and after came to me to inform about my dad’s accident.

My dad was lucky. At least this only one women, who possibly saved his life (I suppose staying all night in rainy weather wouldn’t be the savest thing to do). And there are a lot of people who are not so lucky. Who are getting frozen, because they’ve just had stroke or heart attack and people took them as drunk and went away. Or so many being beaten in front of crowd pretending to be blind.

So yes, we should teach our children to react. In safe for them way, but react (if you are afraid or simply can’t help, at least call police or ambulance. This is going to help a lot). Simple thing, but can safe someone’s life.

Ok, and this was conclusion. So I will carry on with my summaries 😉 today two in one as both of those days were very similar:

Being active – checked

Arabic practise – checked

CSS lesson – checked

Second motivational book: chapter with notes each day – checked

Chapter of book – checked

Plan for next day – checked

And today’s post (only for today) – checked
For today I wish you a productive day and courage to help others. And if your parents (or whoever else tought you this, be very gratefull for them. Well, you should be gratefull for parents any way 😉 ).

I am heading to bed now (after saying “thank you” to my neighbours of course). And I see you in next post.

Daria

16th day and 17th: and again?

Hi guys,

Next two days and another fail. Completely out of control. On Saturday night, there were another terrorist incidents. The worse thing if you are alone at home and you know that your relatives are somewhere in the city. You are trying to call them, but no signal. Well, you are not the only one trying. Network is not able to manage this.

And this is what I’ve done. I’ve been sitting at home and running out of my mind. I was worrying if my dad is going to come, if my husband is safe on his way back from work. And most of all: trying to call them.

Fortunatelly they came. It has taken longer as city centre was paralised. They were lucky. But I’ve started thinking about other people. Those who’s family members or friends weren’t so lucky. Who were waiting same as I was, but they haven’t heard sound of the key in the door. They couldn’t hug their family members. They’ve recieved bad news instead.

Mostly we are thinking: “Well, it’s sad. I feel sorry for them, but it doesn’t boder me. My family was home”. But what we don’t realise, next time it might meet us or our parents, children, brothers, sister or friends. Or us. We can’t be sure for tomorrow at all. We can’t even predict, if we’ll come back from simple grocery shopping. Maybe it’ll be our last yourney?

And here huge problem comes for those of us, who will do this realisation. Because no matter what is going to happen, we need to carry on like everything is ok. Like we are going to live for ever.

Someone told: “Work like you are going to live for ever, live like you are going to die tomorrow”. I can’t remember now, who’s words are they (not mine for sure 😉 ). But this is exactly what we need to do. We are working most of the time, to make sure we can have better future or at least survive.  And we are doing this, even though we have no idea who of us is going to be alive.

All of this freezed me for a while. We are living in such dangerous time, so we are thinking about this (at least I do). But to be honest, even if we would live any time before or after all those attacks, we wouldn’t be sure as well. What is my conclusion? Life is unpredictible. Any time accidents happen, people are getting sick and we can never be sure, when is our last day going to be. We never know, if person who is just living to work or going for holiday is going to come back. But any way, life is worth living, worth fighting for better future and most important: worth being a good person.

Very often people are arguing about so silly thigs. They are hurting each other. I am doing this as well, mostly unintentionally. Or I am just getting upset with my husband or father, because they dared to breathe (I am not getting upset for breathing, but similarly “huge” deals 😉 ). But this is what it is. If something is going to happen to anyone, try and make sure, you are not having any bad emotions towards this person. For instance I was so glad yesterday, that all of us have left home happy, talking to each other and just being happy. Otherwise all this would be even bigger nightmare. This knowledge, that any of them might not come back and last memory would be huge fight. After all, they are some of the closest people to me. And I think, live is too short for fights. Especially if there is no real reason to argue. But even if there is, we should try and sort it out calmly. To make sure, there will not be any words said, we are going to regret after.

Changing subject, just a little bit, today in work I’ve been talking to one of my mates. He said:

“Daria, I haven’t belive you, when you’ve told me those terrorist aren’t muslims. Now I do.”

“What made you change your mind?” 

“Well, when they’ve been doing all those things any time, with ‘Allahu akbar’ on their lips, I was sure they are muslims. But if they do this in ramadan… even I know, it’s one of the biggest sins for muslims”.

I’ve shared this conversation just to make you understand, that by calling all muslims terrorists, people are very unfair. They are hurting all REAL muslims, who are good people, always ready to help.

Dou you know, what came to my head. Another quote, I will not bring it exactly, but the meaning is: if you want to win with any country, first damage it from inside. Strong citizens, who can work together are harder enemies, than those who are enemies for each other.

In my opinion, this is what they are trying to do. Make all of us be enemies to each other. And what is sad, they are achieving their goal. And now, it’s up to us: are we going to be strong societies, who will fight real enemies together, or are we going to destroy our countries on our own, by fighting each other instead and doing job for them?

Finishing all my thoughts, I am going to move to my two days summaries.

16th’s day summary:

Chapter of book – checked

Arabic practise – checked

Small project in HTML + CSS (started) – checked

Plan for next day – checked

Being active – checked

17th’s day summary:

Chapter of book – checked

Project HTML + CSS (finished)- checked

Being active – checked

Arabic lesson – checked

Chapter of next motivational book – checked

Plan for tomorrow – checked

Two day’s post – checked
And for today I wish you very productive day and a lot of appreciation to people who are always with you and who won’t leave you no matter what. Do all the best, that time you are spending together will be quality time, not world war.

For now I am going to sleep. I’ll see you in tomorrow’s post

Daria
P.S. Unfortunatelly my internet still doesn’t work. Router had been changed, but it looks like this wasn’t the case. But my neighbours let me use their wi-fi to keep publishing my posts so any time, they are home in the evening I’ll be able to share my thoughts and everything what had been done. I hope my internet will be sorted once for good soon 😉

And post with book will appear on next Sunday. I will do all my best to publish them every Sunday, instead of every second one. But I’ve decided to keep Sunday as a day, when they are going to see daylight (another polish saying 😉 ). I hope you’ll forgive me this delay.

15th day: voices in my head…

Hi guys,

Next day is almost finished (actually is already finished, as my clock is showing 3 am, when I am starting this post) and so many things – mostly good – happen. I was thinking to share them with you, but after I’ve decided, that this post would be too long and well… just useless for you (what kind of value it will bring to your life, if you know what I have been doing all day?). Instead, I am going to talk about something, what can happen to every one (and propably to many of you actually does).

What I am going to talk about, are voices in my head. Well, it sounds weird and some of you (if not all) might think, that I am simply mad. But I don’t mean those kind of voices 😉

Let me try to explain: imagine, you have some idea in your head. You mind was just empty and out of a sudden it was there. You are thinking it through and as more you are thinking, you are geting more and more sure, that this is brilliant idea!

Straight away you sit to make a plan, write everything what needs to be done, you are just ready to start. Feeling, that you were born to do this becomes your company. Huge, huge motivation to do some action stay shoulder by shoulder with you. First steps are done. And… here they are. Voices in your head saying: “man, what are you doing? You are going to fail, any way. Don’t waste your time!”.

Ok, you are just trying to ignore it. But no: “Do you know, how people will react? They will laugh. And not only that, they will look at you like they look at losers. Do you want that?”.

And you motivation disappears. You are starting to work less and less. Finally you give up completely. You brilliant idea seems not to be so brilliant any more.

Where are those voices coming from? Who put them there? Answer is very simple: you. You are the one, who is feeding them, who let them be more powerfull, than they actually are. But what is the worse? You are the one, who let them win. Over and over again.

So let’s look at our voices a bit closer. What they are?

Long time ago, I’ve red that everyone have his/her comfort zone (I don’t remember where I’ve red, but definetely it was in one of the books). Some environment, routine… Something what is with us every day. We can repeat it with closed eyes. And any try to move outside our comfort zone is making us feel fearfull (outside something new and unknown is waiting for us… who knows, maybe monster? 😉 ).

But on the other hand, if we’ll not leave our confort zone, we are not going to get anywhere further. Our life will never change.

So how can we fight with voices in our head? Here are some of my suggestion.

The worst thing, which can happen

This is what I am doing every time. I am making list of consequences in case of failure. And guess what? I’ve never had any monster on my list 😉

Actually when we write them, we can see, they are not so scaring like they seem to. We can just realise, that well.. nothing wrong can happen, everyone is going to stay alive 😉

And what is the other advantage of this list? Something what is completely unknown for us, is becoming something more transparent. We just feel more comfortable with it.

Make list of good things

Well, if we connect this method with previous one, we are getting clear picture of what might happen if we carry on with our activities. We can actually compare, the worst and the best scenarios. And believe me, mostly we have more to win, than to lose 😉

Is it a real problem?

If those two methods haven’t work, come back to your the worst scenario list and check every position again. And decide, whether this is real or imagined problem. For example, let’s say, you had written: “People are going to think, that I am a loser”. So thing, who are you going to do it for? For people? Does it really matter to you, what others think? And finally: is it going to harm you? Well, not really…

In my case, most of my problems are just imagined. They just don’t matter. And when I realise that, my voices are leaving me alone, my motivation is coming back again.

Sometimes, they are trying to come back. To sneak into my head, like I’ve never threw them out before. Sometimes, they even try to pretend, that they are saying what I really thing. They are coming, when my work doesn’t bring results I wish it would. But that time I am just thinking, that I can cope with them. I won before, why not again? And it’s became even easier since I’ve learnt how to work for myself. Not for any one else. Not for financial benefits. Just for the time spent on doing stuff I love. And do you know what? Now my voices became shy. Maybe they know, that for everything they’ll say, I am going to answer: “So what? I am having fun now, without you. Just go away!”. I’m not sure, but it really works 😉
I hope it will be helpfull for at least some of you. It’s nothing complicated and if you think deeper about it, you already knew it before. You just needed someone from outside your head, to say it loud 😉

Any way, let’s move to today’s summary:

Chapter of book – checked 😉

CSS lesson – checked 🙂

Being active – checked 🙂

Arabic homework – checked 🙂

Today’s post – checked 🙂

Plan for tomorrow – checked 🙂

And for now I am going to bed, as it’s already 4:20 am in London. I wish you very productive day and only won battles in this hard war with your own voices 😉 and if you have any other ways to fight with them, you are very welcome to share it in the comment section.

Mean time I see you in tomorrow’s post.

Daria

12th day: why do people change?

Hi guys,

It’s already 12th day. I can’t belive, how fast our time goes. I still have a feeling, that I had settled this blog yesterday and at the same time I know, that it changed my life completely, like 180° turn. So I think, it’s great opportunity to talk about changes.

Very often we can see two people, who seem to do everything together. Like they never separate. They are just so similar: same hobby, dreams, goals… They spend every minute together. Like anyone else exists.

But after some time something goes wrong. One of them (or sometimes both) realizes, that they don’t have too much in common any more. When they’re meet, they have very little to talk about and almost nothing to do. And each of them thinks: “This other one changed. He/she used to be my soulmate, but now we are strangers to each other”.

And here is very important question: why all those changes have happened? People should be always same, shouldn’t they? Otherwise they aren’t themselves any more. They are becoming someone else. Someone new.

I have been thinking about this quite a lot (I’ve started long time before an idea of this blog appeared in my head) and I’ve came to some conclusions. Let me point them out:

Environment

You can say, what you want, but people around influence us a lot. Very often we adopt some of their behaviours, without even thinking about it. This is one of those things, which happen automatically. And some people will call it “learning process”, while for others it will be just copying. But no matter how you are going to name it, it’s going to happen.

Dreams and goals

This is quite important thing. While setting goals, we need to be aware of who we need to become, to actually achieve them. Each activity we are going to do, will require different behaviours, habits and even ways of thinking. For example, if our dream is to have a child and at the moment we are completely unorganized and carefree, we need to change it (well, at least if we want our child to survive with us). When we want to travel the world and we hardly can afflrd to make it till next payday, we have to have a closer look into our spendings and try to save some money. And many, many other.

Our “experiences bag”

Well, let’s make something clear: no matter what we are doing we are human beings. We make a lot of mistakes. And even if we get up after failures, we still keep them in our mind, so next time when similar situation happen, we know at least, what should we avoid and we look for other solution.

Financial situation

Ok, here we can say whatever we want, but we need to admit one thing: money change people. I am not saying that always for worse (very often happen), but for better as well. When we have enough money, we don’t need to think about where to get some from. We can afford for more, so we are trying new things, getting new experiences and learn from them. That changes us a lot.

Roles, we are playing in life

Well, most of people change, when they get job, when they become husbands, wife, or parents. Their priorities change, so they need to change their life to adjust to new situation.

Things we learn

This is kind a simple. When we learn new stuff, we understand more and our way of thinking changes according to what we know.
And those are things, which came to my mind so far. If you have any other idea, don’t hesitate to let me know in comment box below. I will love to find out what do you think about changes.

I don’t thing, that changes are bad. They are the best prove, that we are actually doing something with our life. That we develop ourself. Even if we change for worse, there is a possibility, that we are going to realize it and we will change again, this time for better. And as long, as all those changes don’t stop us to be who we are, they cannot be bad (at least not so bad). And this is my conclusion 😉

And because it’s late already, I will move straight to today’s summary:

Being active – checked 😉

CSS lesson – checked 🙂

Next few chapters of Sunday book – checked 🙂

Two chapter of book – checked 🙂

Today’s post – checked 🙂

And, of course, plan for tomorrow – checked 🙂
For now I wish very productive day and a lots of good changes in your lives (there is never so good, that it cannot be better). And I’ll see you in next post 🙂

Daria

11th day: can we change the world?

Hi guys,

Today was another shopping day, as our little household runed out of some groceries. And while standing in queue, I’ve heard two men talking (usually I don’t listen to someone’s conversation, but they were so loud, that even my headphones haven’t help me). Here is what they were talking about (not exactly, but words they were using wouldn’t go through my keyboard and I haven’t memorized exactly every word, they’ve said, so remember it’s only main thoughts):

(F)irst: have you heard about terrorist attack in Manchester Arena?

(S)econd: I’ve heard. They shouldn’t have let any muslim to Europe. It was easy to predict, that they’re going to cause problems.

F: Well, what can you do? Now damage is done.

S: If I would be deciding, none of them would be here. Not even single one.

F: Single human cannot change the world, you would do nothing…

And conversation carried on, but I haven’t listened to it any more (maybe better for me, as words, they were using – even if in front of them there were children – well, let’s say, almost every second word would be censored in every TV program) and I’ve just started my own thought proccess.

But first, short explanation: I don’t think every muslim is bad, to be honest I don’t even think, that all those attacks are caused by muslims (maybe some brainwashed, who was simply manipulated and missguided). Just make it straight, I work with a lot of muslims and only in London there are hundreds (if not thousands) of them living, so first of all, they would be able to blow whole London within seconds, just because of number of them. And as I’ve talked to my work mates, any of them is proud or happy of what had happened. Even more, they are very upset, that someone is doing something like this in the name of God. And why most of muslims will say, that terrorist cannot be muslims? Let’s make it short: purpose of living for muslim is to be as good as they can, to be able to go to paradise in hereafter. And one of very important rules is, that person who commit suicide is closing his/here way there (actually very hard punisment is going to happen to this person after death). And if you’ll go deeper into it, you can see, that this is true. And even if some of muslim would do this, we should remember, that we can’t judge whole religion, because of small group, who cause problem. We should remember, that in every group they are different people: some are good, some are bad. But this is up to each of us, who are we going to be and we shouldn’t be judged because of where are we coming from or what do we belive in. And that works in other way: our group shouldn’t be judged by what me or you, as a single person (or few of lots) have done.

But this is my opinion, I don’t want to force any one to change one’s mind. But this is connected with the subject I want to talk about. One of them said, that single person cannot change the world. Is that true?

Let me explain quickly, what I thing about it. First of all, we need to remember, that everything what we do, casue chain reaction. Very often we don’t even know, what we are responsible for.

Some time ago, I saw one advertisement on TV. I don’t remember exact chain, but what happened was, that boss shouted at his employee, than on the way back, he shouted at bus driver, bus driver did same to his wife, she rised her voice to their son, who started fighting with his friend on playground. And this last one, as it turned out, was boss’ son. And whole chain closed.

All those people got angry, because of one person and finally it came back to him as well. So maybe we can’t change whole world completely. We can’t make other people change their behaviour, but what we can definitely do, is to try give some little sun shine to every other person, who would pass it to next one, and that one to another…

And even if we can’t reach every single person in the world, we will make huge difference. But what is the best in all this: you don’t have to do anything extra hard. Very often simple smile will do, or little help given to someone in need and someone’s life will become a bitt better and more happiness will be there as well. And this happiness is going to be passed further and further.

What is the problem of today’s word? According to me the worse are invisible walls we are building every day. Walls between people, who are slightly different then we are. Just because they were born in other place, or they have different colour of skin, or their believes differs.

There is only one thing, that scares me in all that. And this thing is, that we are the one’s who cause it. Children learn from us to hate those people and love the other. I’ve never met a child, who wouldn’t play with other, because their skin colour differes or they are wearing different cloths. Parents and other adults from around children are responsible for this. And this is scaring, as this small thing is starting huge chain, which will never ever ends, if as many of us as possible won’t stop it. Just let’s try to be like those child, innocent and not wise enough (or maybe wiser, than we, adults, are) and let’s start looking at people as same as we are. And if we have to judge, judge through prism of their personality, not background.

That’s all of my thoughts for today (there were much more, but this one brought so many emotions to me, so I’ve choosen it to share with you). But please, don’t get me wrong. I am not trying to tell anyone what to do. This is my opinion. Everyone can have some other.

But because it became very serious, so better let’s move to today’s summary:

Being active: checked 🙂

One chapter of book: checked 🙂

One CSS lesson: checked 🙂

Arabic excercises: checked 🙂

Plan for tomorrow: checked 🙂

And today’s post: checked 🙂
I think that’s all for today. Like always I wish you very productive day and as much happiness as possible. Because what is amazing about happiness? Even if you share it, you still have same amout of it, it doesn’t cost you anything. But at the same time, it’s going to come back to you again, double in strength. So this is what I wish to everyone today (and not only today 😉 ).

And I’ll see you next time 🙂

Daria